Page 1

RATED M

1/ The inside of a dimly lit office. Sitting at a desk is a heavily shadowed figure. Underboss, who’s figure won’t be revealed here. Standing in front of the desk is Slaughter.

CAPTION: THE CENTRAL OFFICE OF THE CENTRAL BAR WITH NO NAME
UNDERBOSS: Fisk is moving in on our master’s operation.

2/ Slaughter, tilting his head.

SLAUGHTER: Oh, really?

3/ Underboss, still very heavily shadowed/obscured. On the desk, there’s a yellow envelope.

CAPTION: UNDERBOSS
UNDERBOSS: Your instructions are on the desk. I’ll give you a hint. You’ll love it.
SLAUGHTER: I doubt it.

4/ Close up on the yellow envelope.

UNDERBOSS: I know you’re not very patient. I know you’re sick of waiting for him. Sick of playing ball.
SLAUGHTER: You know me so well.
UNDERBOSS: But did ya hear? Overboss bit the bullet. The plasma pistol factory got wiped out. It won’t be long before he busts down our doors, guns blazing.

5/ Slaughter’s hand, grabbing the yellow envelope.

SLAUGTHER: I can’t f**king wait.

Page 2

1/ Side view of Slaughter exiting the office. The outside has a big, red door. The area Slaughter is in now has red and gold decorations. It’s a luxurious place.

NO DIALOGUE

2/ Pan out. Slaughter is walking down the hallway, passing by an LMD dressed up in a pinstripe suit (an LMD without a face, similar to the LMD SHIELD agent from the ending of World War Symbiote).

NO DIALOGUE

3/ Pan out more. Slaughter is walking past the LMD, we can see him from outside of a window.

NO DIALOGUE

4/ Pan out more. Slaughter, as it turns out, is inside the top of a building about 20 stories tall.

CAPTION: CORPORATE HQ OF MANAGEMENT CONTROL INC

Page 3

1/ Slaughter standing in front of a large, silver set of double doors (they resemble elevator doors). There’s a number pad on the wall next to them on the right.

NO DIALOGUE

2/ Close up on the number pad, Slaughter pressing in the keys.

SFX: BEET DET BEET

3/ Back view of Slaughter as the doors open like a set of elevator doors, pulling into the walls. The inside of the room is very clearly a weapons cache, filled with ridiculous amounts of large weaponry and the like.

NO DIALOGUE

Page 4

1/ Overhead view of a street, a black car moving down.

CAPTION(Slaughter): I hate taking orders.

2/ The black car parking.

CAPTION(Slaughter): I hate listening to people. I hate people. I hate everything.

3/ Slaughter stepping out of the driver’s seat, in his black trenchcoat from last issue.

CAPTION(Slaughter): But for those rare times when my job involves gunning down an entire street… well, I can’t help but love it. Fisk’s drug dealers taking up space, using it as a cover to try and monitor the bars. Idiots.

4/ Weasel sitting in his control chair, with all the monitors. He’s talking to Deadpool.

WEASEL: Okay Wade, he’s here. He’s been given orders to wipe out the street.
DEADPOOL: I’m busy getting a taco.
WEASEL: WADE.
DEADPOOL: TACO.
WEASEL: …How many people are in line ahead of you?
DEADPOOL: Just one.
WEASEL: Go ahead and get the taco then. But watch out for Slaughter. Remember what we have to do?

5/ Deadpool in his fat hobo disguise, throwing his hands up in the air as if he’s talking to Weasel in person, waiting after a guy in line.

DEADPOOL: OF COURSE! SHOOT HIM IN THE BODY WITH MY AWESOME ROCKET LAUNCHER!

6/ The guy ahead of Fat-Hobo-Deadpool in line has turned around and is looking at him, a bit nervous, considering there’s a possibly crazy man standing behind him that’s twice his size.

GUY IN LINE: …Are you okay?
DEADPOOL: …Bowties are cool.
GUY IN LINE: …O-okay then.
WEASEL: I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Seriously.

Page 5

1/ Slaughter walking down the street.

DEADPOOL(OP): FEAR NOT, CITIZENS!
SLAUGHTER: The hell?

2/ Front view of Deadpool, his fat hobo disguise vanishing in a flash of light as he holds the rocket launcher in his hand.

DEADPOOL: THE MASSACRE OF THE TACO STAND WILL BE AVENGED!

3/ Close up on Slaughter, pulling out a pistol and starting to run.

SLAUGHTER: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

4/ The explosion from last issue where Slaughter is, gore bursting out from the fire.

SFX: BRROOOSHH

Page 6

1/ Splash Page/ Black page.

NO DIALOGUE

Page 7

1/ Black panel.

CAPTION(Slaughter): I can feel again.

2/ Black panel.

CAPTION(Slaughter): Everything’s starting to…fix itself…

3/ Black panel.

CAPTION(Slaughter): It’s slower than last time. No. No no no. Can’t lose my healing. Can’t.

4/ Black panel.

CAPTION(Slaughter): Come on come on come on come on…

5/ Blurry vision of a florescent light.

CAPTION(Slaughter): Good…good…

Page 8

1/ Close up on a photograph of Slaughter, standing and reaching for a pistol.

DEADPOOL: This guy. He’s Slaughter.

2/ Close up on a photograph of a large explosion.

DEADPOOL: Still Slaughter. But he’s met his new best friend, “giant raging fireball of doom”.

3/ Close up on a photograph of Slaughter’s charred remains, splattered on the street.

DEADPOOL: And that’s Slaughter’s charred remains!
DEADPOOL: So, Mr. Employer.

Page 9

1/ Deadpool and The Employer (who is still shadowed), sitting in a bar at a booth.

DEADPOOL: I can haz reward moneyz?

2/ The Employer shifting the photos around with his hand, carefully inspecting each.

THE EMPLOYER: …Sniff.
DEADPOOL: Uh…
THE EMPLOYER: Thank God…
DEADPOOL: Well, I AM pretty awesome, but I wouldn’t go that far.

3/ Profile view of The Employer, shifting forward, his face coming out of the shadows. He’s an old man, smiling with tears running down his face.

THE EMPLOYER: Thank you. Thank you so much.

4/ Deadpool sitting there. Not really knowing what to feel.

DEADPOOL: Um…you’re welcome.

5/ Profile view of Deadpool.

DEADPOOL: So, uh, cash? Cash money? Chitty chitty bang bang? Ka-ching? Ding-wang-doodle?

Page 10

1/ The Employer is putting a briefcase on the table.

THE EMPLOYER: You know why I asked you to kill him?
DEADPOOL: I’m gonna guess because you wanted him dead.
THE EMPLOYER: Right.

2/ The Employer opening the briefcase, filled with cash.

THE EMPLOYER: That, and he’s my son.
DEADPOOL: OH MY GOD THAT IS SUCH A HUGE TWIST.
DEADPOOL: I TOTALLY CARE ABOUT THAT ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY AMAZING REWARD! DO GO ON, SIR.

3/ Side view of the two just talking as The Employer still has the briefcase in his hands.

THE EMPLOYER: I’m Charlie. Charlie Goodwin.
DEADPOOL: Pool. Deadpool.
THE EMPLOYER: We’re acquainted.
DEADPOOL: Sorry. I’m a sucker for Bond references. Please go on. I’ll just be drooling over my money.
THE EMPLOYER: I thought he’d come back from ‘Nam a war hero, you know.
THE EMPLOYER: I thought a lot of things. It’s a miracle I’ve even lived this long. But I know why.
DEADPOOL: Please, do tell.
DEADPOOL: (Oh, Benjamin Franklin. You made sure to have your good side put on that bill, didn’t you?)

4/ Same shot, but The Employer is moving the briefcase over to Deadpool. Deadpool is clearly focusing on the money.

THE EMPLOYER: He killed our entire family when he came back. I went into hiding. Old and feeble. Do you know how old I am, Deadpool?
DEADPOOL: Old enough to know where babies come from, I assume.
THE EMPLOYER: He killed everyone, Deadpool. He wanted to kill everything. But you stopped him. I never thought to hire an assassin before. But after that horrible attack on the city…I felt I could risk it. I had survived an assault from those horrible machines.
DEADPOOL: (♪) Money money… MONEY! (♪)

5/ The Employer, looking down at the table.

THE EMPLOYER: I think I can finally die with dignity now. Now that he’s gone. I can finally rest.
DEADPOOL: Your honor restored, mister samurai?
THE EMPLOYER: …Yes.

Page 11

1/ Deadpool standing up, still behind the table. He’s got the briefcase by the handle.

DEADPOOL: Well, that’s just fine and dandy.
DEADPOOL: But some GUN STEALING WHORE stole my lucky gun, and your IDIOT SON framed me for an assault on the free world.

2/ Deadpool looking down at The Employer.

DEADPOOL: So, I guess I got some dignity of my own to get back. It’s been fun, though. We should do this again sometime. Possibly over a burning building or a space station. These things never work out like we plan anyway.
DEADPOOL: But really. I’m leaving now.

3/ The Employer sitting at the table as Deadpool vanishes with his teleport.

DEADPOOL: Hasta la pasta!

4/ The Employer sitting there, motionless. Residue from Deadpool’s teleport still there.

NO DIALOGUE

5/ Front view of the empty seat in front of The Employer. Slaughter is standing there, about to sit.

SLAUGHTER: Look who it is.

Page 12

1/ Side view of the two. Slaughter looking at his father, shoving a pistol in his face. Slaughter has his mask on.

SLAUGHTER: I heard the whole thing.
SLAUGHTER: You really f**ked things up for me.

2/ Same shot.

SLAUGHTER: They found a weird little GPS tracker on my corpse. I read the files the mortician made after I killed him. Musta thrown it at me during the UN ordeal. That’s how Deadpool tracked me. And he tracked me, because you wanted me dead. Didn’t you?

3/ Same shot.

SLAUGHTER: …Of course. Of course you’re dead. You died the second Deadpool left, didn’t you? I would have interrupted…but because of you…things aren’t exactly working right anymore for me.

4/ Back view of Slaughter, taking his mask off. His face isn’t visible.

SLAUGHTER: See what you did? You idiot. You f**king idiot.

5/ Slaughter turned around, putting his mask on. His face isn’t visible.

SLAUGHTER: Hate you. Hate them all.

Page 13

1/ Slaughter is standing by the door of the bar.

SLAUGHTER: I’m gonna give you a funeral pyre here, you old windbag.

2/ Slaughter hitting a paneling of wood.

SFX: BEET

3/ The wood panel slides back to reveal a number code.

SLAUGHTER: All the bars have this, y’know. Hostages are very important.

4/ Front view of Slaughter punching in some number codes, The Employer’s corpse rests in the booth behind him.

SFX: BEET DET BEET

5/ Slaughter walking out of the bar as it explodes in a hellish fireball.

SFX: THROOOOOMMM
SLAUGHTER: Rest in peace.

Page 14

1/ The inside of a Cadnerian bunker. It’s all silver/chrome colored, very high tech stuff. There’s a round table with several Cadnerian representatives. Scavenger is standing up, in a seat at the table. Scavenger has large, techy handcuffs around his wrists and down his hands. Around the table are several monitors and the center of the table has a large, blue half-sphere at the center (to project holograms so they can discuss data and whatnot).

CAPTION: CADNERIAN HQ
SCAVENGER: Gentlemen, I have something important to say.

2/ One of the seated men looking over.

CHAIRMAN: What is it now?

3/ Scavenger looking over at him.

SCAVENGER: Recently, I went to New York as ordered, to ensure the safety of our Cadnerian “ambassador”.
CHAIRMAN: And you failed MISERABLY.
SCAVENGER: Correct. But I can fix it.

Page 15

1/ Splash Page/ Scavenger pointing at the blue half-sphere, and a red image of DEADPOOL appearing. Deadpool looks very angry.

SCAVENGER: Deadpool’s on his way to Cadneria.
CHAIRMAN: WHAT?!

Page 16

1/ The same image as Page 15, but now a Twitter feed is visibly showing. “IAMDEADPOOL2” is on the screen. The Tweet reads “I’M COMING FOR YOU CADNERIA, YOU GUN STEALING WHORES!!!! #EpicVengeance”.

SCAVENGER: He killed our “ambassador”. Now, I can fix it, by killing him when he gets here.
CHAIRMAN: Why didn’t you just kill him in America, you idiot?!

2/ Profile view of Scavenger.

SCAVENGER: Because, he outmatched me. But here, at my “home”, we can use our army to take him down.

3/ Profile view of the chairman, looking over angrily.

CHAIRMAN: YOU LURED HIM HERE?!

4/ Scavenger looking over at the Chairman.

SCAVENGER: Yup.
CHAIRMAN: …You planned this. We captured you and now you’ve--
SCAVENGER: You’re going to have to use them anyway eventually. See, that gun had a trace on it. A trace only Deadpool could track. His friend made it that way. The one I stole. I’ve hidden it in this bunker. I can’t teleport out of here without your permission, of course. So, either you let me go, or you face Deadpool.

5/ The chairman with his hands folded up, glaring down at the table.

CHAIRMAN: …
CHAIRMAN: Everyone, let’s start up the war protocol. Deadpool’s on his way.
CHAIRMAN: And FIND THAT GUN.

6/ Two armed guards have grabbed Scavenger and are escorting him away from the table while he laughs.

SCAVENGER: THIS IS PERFECT! HAHAA!!

Page 17

1/ The chairman looking toward the others.

CHAIRMAN: Go to all the trouble of hypnotizing our own agents to believe themselves from another government for the press, convince everyone at the UN to play along.
CHAIRMAN: Had to play along when we hired Triple Lead to try to genuinely get Deadpool out of the picture. Then SHIELD. And then SHIELD FAILED. That was EMBARASSING.

2/ Another chairman looking toward him.

CHAIRMAN 2: So, we wipe out Deadpool with our army and execute Scavenger, then?
CHAIRMAN: Of course. We SHOULD execute Scavenger first… but on the off chance that Deadpool wins, and we escape…

3/ Same shot.

CHAIRMAN: Leave him alive. If Deadpool wins, I want Scavenger to endure what he’s got coming.
CHAIRMAN 2: You’re honestly prepared for THAT? It’s just Deadpool.

Page 18

1/ Black panel.

CHAIRMAN: That’s why I’m preparing for it. Because it’s JUST DEADPOOL.

2/ A big passenger airplane, soaring through the sky on schedule.

CAPTION: CADNERIAN AIRSPACE
DEADPOOL: Okay folks, we’re uhm...‘bout to land in Cadneria’s only airport. And it wasn’t built for passenger planes.

3/ The plane landing on the strip, any personnel visible are confused and armed.

NO DIALOGUE

Page 19

1/ Armed guards surround the plane.

GUARD LEADER: STEP OUT OF THE PLANE, OR WE’LL BLOW IT UP.

2/ The back ramp of the plane is lowering.

NO DIALOGUE

3/ Close up on the back ramp. A HUGE pile of guns and ammo is falling out.

DEADPOOL: Alright, alright. You caught me.

Page 20

1/ Splash Page/ Deadpool walking down the ramp, armed to the teeth and holding two very large guns, which he’s firing at the guards with, and doing a damn good job, blowing most of them away.

SFX: BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA BRAKA BRAKA BUDDA BUDDA BRAKA BRAKA
DEADPOOL: AND NOW I GET TO SHOOT YOU ALL IN THE FACE!

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TO BE CONTINUED: Deadpool: Operation "Oh, S#@%!" #4 - (Script)

PREVIOUSLY: Deadpool: Operation "Oh, S#@&!" #2 - (Script)

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I MAKE NO MONEY OFF OF THIS. I INVENTED LITERALLY EVERY CHARACTER HERE BUT DEADPOOL AND WEASEL (SHIELD IS OBVIOUSLY NOT MINE AS WELL).