ASPECT: The INCANDESCENT Ant Man Pt. 5
By feebadger 3 Comments
D: Ant Man, are you alright?
A: Yes.
D: Are you sure? You don’t look too happy.
A: I’m fine. Leave me alone.
D: Is that a black eye?
A: Maybe.
D: Look, this will be much easier if you just talk to me. You’re acting like a child.
A: YOU are.
D: Ant Man…
A: Alright, alright… I think I might have had a “team up.”
D: What is that? Like a euphemism for sex?
A: No. If I was using a euphemism for sex I would I have said, “I just put Moondragon through the Siege Perilous.”
D: So what does having a team up involve then?
A: Getting punched in the face mainly.
D: I see. Care to explain what happened?
A: Well, I was walking over here this morning when I bumped into an old hero buddy of mine, Beetle Bomb.
D: Beetle Bomb?
A: Yes. He is the size of a Beetle and when he gets really angry he EXPLODES!
D: But, wouldn’t that kill him?
A: Don’t know. He’s never really gotten that angry. He’s also a Buddhist you see, though personally, I think he’s medicated up to his eyeballs.
D: I know the type well.
A: ShhYEAH! So, anyway, I see him walking down the street toward me and I wave and say hi, you know, being friendly and all due to us both being on the same super team once.
D: And what team was that.
A: We were called The Little League. It was myself, Beetle Bomb, Short Arse and Micro Lad.
D: What was Micro Lads’ power?
A: He had incredibly small genitalia. We were a hell of a team too until the Short Persons Association shut us down. Said our name was “sizeist.” Sizest, I said, have you seen inside Micro Lads shorts!?
D: And what did they say?
A: Nothing. Just hit us with a rolled up newspaper.
D: Nice.
A: So I’m waving hello to Beetle Bomb when he suddenly jumps on top of me and starts letting fly with the ol’ left and right. Plowing into me he was, like Tony Stark on payday.
D: But why?
A: Turns out he’s gone ‘villain’. Said he’d had enough of people pushing him around and making fun of his powers. Said that no one believed that he could actually make himself explode due to the fact that it had never actually happened.
D: My god! So, how did you get out of there?
A: He exploded.
D: WHAT!?!
A: Yeah. Got himself worked up so much that he went off like the fourth of July. This ain’t tomato sauce on my top, Doc.
D: My god.
A: I know. Turns out he did have that power after all.
D: I guess so.
A: Don’t know if it’ll ever appear in Marvel Two In One, but it was a hell of an experience.
D: I’ll say! So, are you planning anymore of these ‘team ups’ in the future?
A: Well, I was hoping to get a job working with Tigra one day.
D: As what?
A: A flea.
D: I’m afraid our time is up.
A: Thanks, Doc.
D: Pleasure, Ant Man.
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