Emperor Gonzo Noir
Emperor Gonzo Noir's last update: I just don't give a fuck about your day, is that so wrong?
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I don't want a "definitive" origin so here are few

1)

I was sent here to help you, I just wanted to help. It was 1945, and I was sent your planet on a mission of mercy with a team of six of my race's greatest minds, to teach you how to have better lives and advance your technology . We hoped to be greeted with open arms once we stated our purpose but we had underestimated how dim witted and violent you people were. as soon as we entered your atmosphere we were shot down and our philosophical genius was killed in the crash. We crawled from the wreckage of our ship and were attacked by the ignorant locals and our robotics expert was flayed with pitchfork and I was shot with a projectile in the arm. we were eventually found by your F.B.I. we told them our story and they said they would help us and that we would work together on Earth's bright new future. What they said and what actually happened were two very different things, we were imprisoned,they killed our mathematics expert just to dissect him and they kept our genetics expert alive so they could vivisect him, I will never forget the sound he made it wasn't a scream or a cry of pain or joy is was something low and ..horrible. They kept the rest of us locked in a facility were most of us died of dissentary we weren't given much to eat so I was forced to eaten my compatriots.I was kept in a cramped tube for 34 yearswith dozens of tubes inserted in my body. Finally I was freed when a terrorist organization destroyed the laboratory I was being kept in. They thought I was some sort of experiment the scientists had created. I convinced them to steal some items to fix my ship, telling them it was a sort of "weapon of mass destruction" that they coulduse against other labs. I managed to get my ship finally functioning and took off immediately, the terrorists were annihilated in the takeoff and i was on my way home. little did I know years before my home had been ravaged by interstellar war and much of the planet had been destroyed.

to be continued

2)
Emperor Gonzo Noir Stats
Date Joined: March 16, 2009
City:
Gender: Male
Alignment: Neutral
Points: 1,530 Points
Ranked: Ranked #502 of 52,007

1,530 points you are ranked
499 of 51,738 users

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