Not so long ago a new director burst onto our screens with one of the most violent and freaky horror films ever created. Rob Zombie wowed audiences with House of 1000 Corpses and went on to create one of my personal favourites Devils Rejects. His style and capabilities have honoured him with a cult following of horror fans that worship his every move. When it was announced he was the director to take on Halloween his followers rejoiced, even reviewers praised the choice, movie goers were not disappointed. The first Halloween remake (yes I’m aware that is sort of an oxymoron) was breathtaking, the characterisation, the script, the style everything was perfect, audiences walked out with a whole new side of the rather blood hunting zombie creature that is Michael Myers.
With the announcement of part 2 we were excited, we blogged about our ideas, our joy at Robs continuing success, his career growing, then the movie came out and I began to hear rumours, “utter crapfest” one of the viners told me (emperor Gonzo) “total sh!t” a friend muttered, but I ignored them all trusting that Rob would come through, made plans with Arrow and his friend and we were off. Popcorn ready, coke poured, minds primed for a good amount of STABBY STAB STAB the trailers began and we eagerly watched new films to come (Fourth kind looks a winner) and finally the movie began.
This was the beginning of my disillusionment with Rob, I should be used to it by now, how many of my favourites have let me down, PJ with LOTR, Rodriguez with Once upon a time in Mexico, Tarantino with Inglorious Basterds, they had all done it, let the fandom go to their head and arouse that cocky stature that makes them think they sh!t gold. Sadly I wept for this has occurred with Rob Halloween 2 was not terrible, it was simply nothing, it was average, been done before. I stopped trying to count how many other horrors he had ripped off, I stopped counting how many characters I had seen before in DR and H100 same old same old, Laurie was lovely but again same old, can we not push past the cool Goth punk chick and maybe do something different Rob?
Sad thing is I probably could have enjoyed this film, the added bonus of my beloved Malcolm McDowell, whose storyline provided the social commentary of how we places killers in Hollywood celebrity status and revere them. With this and some great acting from our own Deadwood Doctor and supporting cast I could enjoy the film, brush off the inconsistencies and carry on, if it wasn’t for the utter WTFness of his mum being in it. It made no sense, there was no reason for it, it provided no real development into Michael’s character as we know from the first movie that his mum was a hug influence, it was simply another Burton/Carter moment. Rob wanted his wife in the film so instead of trying to make it kosher he went into a bizarre and idiotic world that made little sense to the story.
So sadly I walked out with a dead soul dripping with the pain of yet another favourite shattering my illusions of his style and taste. I would not recommend seeing this film I would recommend saving the money and getting it on DVD so you can pause and yell at the screen, much as my irritated fiancée wanted to do during the film. Was this simply another case of allowing the director too much freedom? should he not have produced, directed and written the film? did we need someone to come in and go.. dude...wth is up with all this cut it cut it now! whatever was needed i left feeling meh about the whole thing, let down by my hero and disappointed that the best part of that film was the Ben and Jerrys chocolate sundae.
Bad form Rob Bad form…..
When I was child I saw a film called Dumbo, a wonderful Disney film that displays the true essence of finding yourself, loving who you are and also the gift of a mother and sons bond. There was a certain scene in this film that always made me cry quite hard. A mother trapped and a son torn from her, with lyrical music and images of other mothers and their children together warm and happy. Since this film there have been no animated movies that have made me cry quite so hard until UP. I will quite possibly be persecuted for saying this but I will never watch this film again. While I am a firm fan of Pixar in every way this time I was let down and I think it will take some time for me to forgive them. I will at this point give myself a disclaimer wherein I explain I have dealt with a lot of loss in my lifetime and being in a relationship with a man that owns my heart did not make watching this any easier. This film is about loss and pain and letting go, of moving forward and living in life, normally wonderful items for a film gifts that many of us need to deal with. This film however did not deliver the wonderful Pixar characters to balance out that pain, we will all remember that touching moment in Toy Story 2 where Jessie recalls being loved and looked after when her owner was a girl but being dumped as she grew up. A sad and devastating moment in the film but balanced out by the wonderful aftermath of meeting Woody and Buzz and the gang.
The characters in this film did not balance out the pain of the initial loss that the old man feels. The villain of the piece was too dark for me, one of the great things I love about Pixar is that they always create villains that are really more neutrals or bumbling idiots, in UP the villain is a very dark character with quite an evil streak. The talking dogs I had massive issues with the bird was again sad and upsetting, the kid was mildly amusing but overall just plain irritating. For me the only character worth watching was the old man, perhaps because what he did was something I know my boy would have done for me. I will say there are quite a few wonderful Pixar moments in this film that did make us both laugh, the ongoing squirrel joke was quite charming!
I am being awfully harsh on a Pixar kids film I know but I simply feel if you choose to create a film about loss and pain and you also choose to be a children’s film, then work harder on balancing the pain with the joy. Then again of course, I always say that if a film touches either good or bad then it has done its job in some way. I will not in this review recommend or discourage any of you to see it, I simply warn you too take tissues and try to separate from what is going on on the screen.
Now before you continue to read this review i want to tell you something up front. I am one of the biggest Zombie movie fans around... I love em adore em... gimme some loud groaning and moaning combined with excessive bodily fluids and just a hint of blood and guts im in seventh heaven. Now add some bad a** dude, a hot chicka a nerd and a kid i would be proud to call my own and BAM we have a winner!!
This fantastic film begins in the middle of all the action, the virus is rampant and millions are dead, our hero begins by telling us about his RULES in Zombieland, how to survive in this chaotic world, we are immediately given the impression that this is his life, he has been at it for some time. This provided the audience with an immediate in to the story, there need be no build up, no evil corporation creating Zombie virus scan clone things.. just right.. Zombies are here and we need to survive! Brilliant! This concept has of course been done before we have seen the zombie king himself ( I have to say if you do not know who I am talking about you simply should step away fro me) do some fabulous twists with Zombies. For me though what is truly wonderful about this film is how much we fall in love with the characters! Each one has a story for why they are there, none of them are weak willed or need to be saved they are all in their own way bad a** kicking zombie killa’s!
Woody Harrelson back from the dead movie land to take up one of the im sure to be most talked about roles was fantastic, his mix of humour and don’t f*ck with me or I will destroy you ness made the character loveable but at the same time believable.
Some of my favourite parts of the film was the little details, the little throw backs to Columbus’s rules, the best Zombie kill of the week etc. My only let down and Arrow agreed with me here was that I wanted a little more of that towards the end of the film, We began to loose the balls and gained a little too much gush. Though Woodys character did balance that, as a hardcore zombie fan I wanted just a little more blood and guts at the end, especially since they are in a theme park, oh so many ways to kill a zombie!
So aside from wasted Zombie wasting opportunity’s overall this film was a real winner for us, Arrow and I laughed and wooted the whole way through! There is also a special cameo... well im not going to tell you but it was epicness embodiment!
A great romp and something for the whole family… well ok maybe not anyone under 10….
Dorian Gray
The story is of a young man who after seeing a remarkable painting of himself becomes obsessed with his own beauty and basically trades his soul to stay young and beautiful forever (this was never actually stated but its assumed) He chooses to use this gift to indulge in every possible passion he conceives of, drugs, sex, violence... you know much like a rock star, Over the years he gets worse and his painting starts to show the wear on his soul, morphing into a hideous creature.....
The rest is for you to watch or read!
the movie itself was rather close to the true story the lead actor was beautiful and young with just enough acting skill to pull it off, my disappointment was Colin Firth in the role of Lord Henry, the diabolical character who first leads Gray on his journey of destruction. This character to me was always a vulgar yet magnificent man, I simply did not feel it from Colin, it was rather more like Mr Darcy had gotten drunk and fiddled with some ladies... there was no fire or malicious intent behind his actions. The love interest was also rather bland, not very memorable and certainly not an actress I would look for again.
Overall though a rather beautiful visual film, my favourite part of the screening was when Dorian makes love to another man and the girls in the front row of the cinema where screaming oh no stop gross, Arrow and I rather enjoyed mocking them from our seats. The characters are all fairly awful in their own way and the morals and high ground Oscar wrote his story from come through quite nicely while also providing a nice bit of sexy time.
I would give it a 6, watch it for fun but wait til it comes out on DVD
The Guild is a show about online gaming community...
Im not going to say much more except watch it its epic, i downloaded it on xbox live but you can find it on you tube the humour is amazing and i would swear someone who rpgs made this show!!!
