fadetoblackbolt's Justice League #1 - Justice League, Part One review

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    Drawn by an Expert, Written by a Fanboy

    FTBB comes back for a review, after months on hiatus. Now, as many of you may know, I'm something of a DC Fanboy. Not a moronic one, mind you, I just prefer DC to the other companies. That's in no small part thanks to the amazing team known as the Justice League. What we have with this issue is not the Justice League; we have a series of disconnected characters with no real personalities in flashy costumes arguing about who has the bigger d*** (the answer is Batman, of course).  
     
    Geoff Johns goes out of his way, to the detriment of the "story", to show that Batman is totally useless compared to Green Lantern. This is, of course, ridiculous to anyone that's ever read a comic book starring Batman before. But instead, we're left with an arrogant, smarmy Hal Jordan narrating everything he does in third-person while mocking Batman's apparent uselessness.   
    Oh and this Batman is ripped right out of All Star Batman and Robin. Everything, from his dialogue to his poses, is almost a carbon-copy of Miller's much-maligned Bat-saga. Nicely done, guys. 
     
    The first villain they fight is an emissary of Darkseid, we don't know why it's here or what it does, other than transform, vomit fire and explode. After that, because it's alien, Batman and Green Lantern assume that it's somehow connected to Superman, because he's an alien too. This is just after GL has explained that there is an entire Corps of aliens who guard the galaxy. But this one creature is alien, so it must be connected to Superman. Did anyone even proofread this?  
     
    After that, we see that people are apparently in awe and a state of nervous fear when it comes to superheroes; because that's why people read DC Comics; to read the same thing they've been reading at Marvel for 50 Years.  
    Moving on, we are introduced to Cyborg, who is going to be the reader's perspective on the JL (as he's yet to be Cyborganised). We then find out that he has a neglectful father who studies superhumans, and that he's really great at football. This could have been covered in one page, but instead, it lasts five. Because that's who people care about. Not Wonder Woman, not Superman, Cyborg and his dad.  
     
    Finally GL and Batman arrive in Metropolis after an evident battle. GL is condescending toward Batman AGAIN, and mentions that he'll handle Superman. Superman flies out and punches GL in the face, because that's what Superman does; attack people randomly. He then asks Batman "what can you do?" 
     
    So the next issue? You guessed it, the battle no one asked for, the one that will never have a satisfying conclusion, the one that irritates the Hell out of us fans; 
     
    BATMAN VS SUPERMAN! 
     
    The half star for this issue goes to Lee's art, which is not quite as good as it should be, but still stands out as a shining light in a terrible start to the New 52.  
     
    Come on, DC, you're better than this. 

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