Journey into Mystery #83

Journey Into Cheesiness

In the early 60s, Marvel was on a roll. Stan Lee and a short list of artists had already created The Fantastic Four, and Spider-Man, and were making comic book history every month. Then it occurred to Stan that "we have never done a god"; and so, in the long-running Journey Into Mystery anthology, Thor is introduced.

Now, even as a kid I remember having a problem with the idea of a great mythological figure being reduced to four-color superhero status... but, darn it, there's just something appealing about the idea of reading new comic book adventures of the Thunder God.

I try to judge comics by the standards of their time, and even by the standards of the time, this first adventure of Thor is found seriously lacking. To begin with, on the very first page, we get Don Blake, an American doctor vacationing in Norway, who is so unobservant as to not notice an alien spacecraft the size of the Goodyear Blimp landing behind him.

It is, of course, the Stone Men from the planet Saturn (O.K., we'll give them a pass on this one - although I think modern science pretty much would have rolled it's eyes at this even in the 1960s), who proceed to display to no one in particular how invulnerable they are and how devastating their weaponry is. More than once they remind themselves that conquering the Earth will be 'Child's Play'.

Don Blake hears a local talking about the aliens, goes to spy on them, steps on a twig and somehow this crippled man manages to run away from them and hide in a cave. In the process he loses his walking cane, but fortunately the cave he chose to hide in comes pre-equipped with a secret chamber and ancient walking stick.

Using his new found walking stick, he attempts to remove a boulder which would allow him a means of egress, because while he has already been in the cave for a long time, clearly the Stone Men are still pursuing him - just really, really slowly. Unfortunately, he cannot move the boulder with the stick so he smacks it against the rock in frustration and is transformed into the Norse god Thor - good thing the godling decided to vacation in this country, get chased by aliens, hide in this very cave and smack this very stick in frustration!

The stick of course becomes Thor's hammer, complete with the concise little inscription on the side which reads,

"Whosoever holds this hammer,

if he be worthy, shall posses the power of 

THOR"

Yes, the inscription contains quotation marks too - perhaps he was dictating it.

Then Thor takes his turn displaying his powers to no one in particular. For example, he somehow instinctively knows that if he taps his hammer on the ground twice, he can "create rain or snow... ...which soon grow into a raging tornado!" To end the storm he merely has to tamp the handle three times on the ground. "But if I should stamp it but once... the hammer changes back into a cane and I once again become Dr. Don Blake." So, to recap, two times shall not be the number of the counting, nor shall the number of the counting be three - in order to turn back to Don Blake, one shall be the number of the counting, though how a storm can be summoned in two taps when one must first tap once and revert to mortal Blake, is part of the Journey - into - Mystery!!!... shut up, what do you want, it's a comic book.

O.K., meanwhile, NATO forces lose a game of chicken with the aliens and parachute out of their planes. Missiles of course are also useless given that the aliens have "atomic force fields". This is the fortuitous moment that Thor learns that if he releases his whirling hammer for a split-second, catching the unbreakable thong, "and then -- I am pulled along after it like the tail of a rocket!!" Can you say dumbest way to fly EVAR?

The aliens try to imprison Thor in a giant cage, and when that fails decide a less strong looking robot will stop him (Thor beats it in one panel). So the world is saved by a fearless Asgardian who scares off the aliens, but then fears the infantry might ask him questions, so he goes back to being Don Blake.

In a final piece of editorial apathy, we are told in half-inch high letters that,

"THORR will appear regularly in Journey Into Mystery!"

RReally? Will it be with all the CARRE and crraftsmanship that went into this gem? I can't wait.

 (by E.Tragedy - Comicvine's original back issue reviewer)