what are some of the best joker quotes?
Joker
Character » Joker appears in 4212 issues.
The Joker, Clown Prince of Crime, is Batman's arch-nemesis. An agent of chaos known for his malicious plots, wacky gadgets and insidious smile, he has caused Batman more suffering than any other villain he has ever faced. His origin, name, and true motivations remain a mystery.
best joker quotes?
@crabtree:
Here are some I think are Joker entirely.
So... I see you received the free ticket I sent you. I'm glad. I did so want you to be here. You see it doesn't matter if you catch me and send me back to the asylum... Gordon's been driven mad. I've proved my point. I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else... Only you won't admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there's some point to all this struggling! God, you make me want to puke. I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet. Something like that... Something like that happened to me, you know. I... I'm not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha! But my point is... My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can't you? I mean, you're not unintelligent! You must see the reality of the situation. Do you know how many times we've come close to world war three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed it's war dept creditors! Telegraph poles! Ha ha ha ha HA! It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?- The Killing Joke
Oh, yes! Fill the churches with dirty thoughts! Introduce honesty to the White House! Write letters in dead languages to people you've never met! Paint filthy words on the foreheads of children! Burn your credit cards and wear high heels! Asylum doors stand open! Fill the suburbs with murder and rape! Divine madness! Let there be ecstasy, ecstasy in the streets! Laugh and the world laughs with you! -Arkham Asylum
The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fool! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'" (he executes an asylum orderly with a gunshot to the head) "Get it? Oh, what a senseless waste of human life!-Arkham Asylum
Its true, Batsy.I know Everything. And,kind of like the Kid who peeks at His Christmas Presents,Its sadly Anticlimactic. Behind all the Stern and Batarangs, You're just a little Boy in a Playsuit, crying for Mommy and Daddy. It'd be Funny if it weren't so Pathetic. What the Heck, I'll laugh anyway...-Return of The Joker
You..You really are incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self -righteousness, and I won't kill you because you are to much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.-The Dark Knight
Joker: Uh... God you disgust me. You have no charm at all all just...Obviousness. Dumb,dull disappointing. Obvious. Shame on you. Obvious...And everybody knows it. You wear your shame like a badge because you don't have the balls to actually put one on. Yes...just look at you...desperate to be feared you want to be perceived as a monster, draped in black. And yet...you leave that little window....Aglimpse at the perfection underneath. Obvious...the chiseled good looks...not the jaw but the mouth of a monster...Why do you let it be seen? Tell me why.
Batman: To mock you. (grinning) -The Joker
"If I weren't crazy, I'd be insane!" - Batman: Dark Detective
"You dirty rat! You killed my brother! My sister! My daughter! She's my sister and my daughter!" - Batman: Dark Victory
"I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled, kids!!!! Now get me Santa Claus!" - Batman #655
"You think it all breaks down into symbolism and structures and hints and clues. No, Batman, that's just Wikipedia. You actually believed all it would take is a few chemicals, a couple of days of drug-induced isolation and a cheap little nervous breakdown and you'd have me all figured out? Like there was some rabbit hole you could follow me down to understanding?" - Batman #681
Parting is such sweet sorrow, dearest. Still, you can't say we didn't show you a good time. Enjoy yourself out there... in the asylum. Just don't forget -- if it ever gets too tough... there's always a place for you here.
And he didn't die all at once. It was hours before the screaming stopped. I almost didn't get to sleep that night. That was the last time I'd used crushed glass...
More powerful than a locomotive, and just about as subtle.
Lady, you're harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids
If I weren't insane: I couldn't be so brilliant!
A very Underrated one:
Aw... Jeez... I hit Jason a lot harder than that. (Pause) His name was Jason, right?
"What are you really scared of Bats? Not being able to save Commissioner Gordon in time? failing to save this cesspool of a city? Me...IN A THONG?"
-Joker in Batan: Arkham Asylum
This is a good one;
"In my dream, the world had suffered a terrible disaster. A black haze shut out the sun, and the darkness was alive with the moans and screams of wounded people. Suddenly, a small light glowed. A candle flickered into life, symbol of hope for millions. A single tiny candle, shining in the ugly dark. I laughed and blew it out."
" Makes you want to Laugh.. Doesn't it Artie"
"Hello Hello Operator I believe my Party has been Disconnected"
From Mask of the Phantasm
"What are you looking for Bat Car Keys, Bat Breath-mints??"
"Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today's harsh and irrational environment? I'm afraid the sad answer is, "Not very well". Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!"
talking to lex luthor:
I sense we are kindred spirits, you and I. Oh, there are differences, to be sure... like hair.
[Chuckles and pat's Luthor's bald head]
grundy to lex- you're crazy! joker- and what's wrong with that, its done wonders for me
batgirl shows up oooo something new has been added, major improvement over the boy blunder
superman crashes through ceiling- more powerful than a locomotive and just about as subtle
joker to terry- boy are you a tatle tail, ratting me out to the cops before I can have my fun, pappa spank!
batman and robin crash through glass ceiling- curious, either you never heard of the door or you like pulling glass out of your shorts.
there are just so many!
Damn that one is very awesome
Not my favorite, but one of my favorites:
which issue?
thnks a lot : )
@johnny_spam: this is a really old comment but I never got the joke about the baby and wife in Arkham Asylum. it is simply because they died? this may sound stupid but is there something kind of clever catch or am i just over thinking it?
(Shoots Jimmy Olsen point blank)
Ew... I got some Jimmy on my shoe. - Joker, Injustice: Gods Among Us. comics.
Batman "Filthy degenerate!"
Joker "Flatter will get you nowhere. You're in the real world now and the lunatics have taken over the asylum. April sweet is coming..."
From Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth
“You… you just couldn’t let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible aren’t you. You won’t kill me because of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because… you’re just too much fun. I get the feeling that you and I are destined to do this forever.”
@crabtree:
Here are some I think are Joker entirely.
So... I see you received the free ticket I sent you. I'm glad. I did so want you to be here. You see it doesn't matter if you catch me and send me back to the asylum... Gordon's been driven mad. I've proved my point. I've demonstrated there's no difference between me and everyone else! All it takes is one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy. That's how far the world is from where I am. Just one bad day. You had a bad day once, am I right? I know I am. I can tell. You had a bad day and everything changed. Why else would you dress up as a flying rat? You had a bad day, and it drove you as crazy as everybody else... Only you won't admit it! You have to keep pretending that life makes sense, that there's some point to all this struggling! God, you make me want to puke. I mean, what is it with you? What made you what you are? Girlfriend killed by the mob, maybe? Brother carved up by some mugger? Something like that, I bet. Something like that... Something like that happened to me, you know. I... I'm not exactly sure what it was. Sometimes I remember it one way, sometimes another... If I'm going to have a past, I prefer it to be multiple choice! Ha ha ha! But my point is... My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was, I went crazy as a coot! I admit it! Why can't you? I mean, you're not unintelligent! You must see the reality of the situation. Do you know how many times we've come close to world war three over a flock of geese on a computer screen? Do you know what triggered the last world war? An argument over how many telegraph poles Germany owed it's war dept creditors! Telegraph poles! Ha ha ha ha HA! It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?- The Killing Joke
Oh, yes! Fill the churches with dirty thoughts! Introduce honesty to the White House! Write letters in dead languages to people you've never met! Paint filthy words on the foreheads of children! Burn your credit cards and wear high heels! Asylum doors stand open! Fill the suburbs with murder and rape! Divine madness! Let there be ecstasy, ecstasy in the streets! Laugh and the world laughs with you! -Arkham Asylum
The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fool! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'" (he executes an asylum orderly with a gunshot to the head) "Get it? Oh, what a senseless waste of human life!-Arkham Asylum
Its true, Batsy.I know Everything. And,kind of like the Kid who peeks at His Christmas Presents,Its sadly Anticlimactic. Behind all the Stern and Batarangs, You're just a little Boy in a Playsuit, crying for Mommy and Daddy. It'd be Funny if it weren't so Pathetic. What the Heck, I'll laugh anyway...-Return of The Joker
You..You really are incorruptible, aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self -righteousness, and I won't kill you because you are to much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.-The Dark Knight
Joker: Uh... God you disgust me. You have no charm at all all just...Obviousness. Dumb,dull disappointing. Obvious. Shame on you. Obvious...And everybody knows it. You wear your shame like a badge because you don't have the balls to actually put one on. Yes...just look at you...desperate to be feared you want to be perceived as a monster, draped in black. And yet...you leave that little window....Aglimpse at the perfection underneath. Obvious...the chiseled good looks...not the jaw but the mouth of a monster...Why do you let it be seen? Tell me why.
Batman: To mock you. (grinning) -The Joker
Love these.
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