The John Tool wiki last edited by Billy Batson on 07/21/13 12:06PM View full history

John Tool was a New York City cop, and very possibly the worst one. He was clumsy, socially inept and generally prone to making mistakes and screwing up. He was also born with one testicle, which simply adds insult to injury. His only saving grace was that he was partnered with Paul Bridges - the "Supercop" of New York.

Tool and Bridges were assigned to the "Reaver-Cleaver" killings, so named because two competing newspapers can't agree on what to call the murderer. These killings were grotesque and brutal, and captured the attention of the city, and made Paul Bridges - and by extension John Tool - famous.

Despite his partner, Tool was a screw-up. He got no respect from his co-workers, and none from his boss. Only his partner gave him any support and encouragement. And when his partner was away, Tool was left on his own.

It was on one such day that Tool received a call from a man claiming to be the killer. The man knew details about the killing that had not been released to the media, so Tool knew it was the real guy - but his partner was nowhere to be found. Unlucky John Tool had to follow the leads on his own.

Eventually, he made his way to a small apartment in Manhattan, the location given to him by the killer. He was expecting to find blood and death and terror. What he found was his partner in the middle of a gay S&M orgy. And Jesse Custer, who had also been sent to that apartment by the killer.

Tool tried to take control of the situation, but slipped in something on the floor and lost his gun. At this point the Reaver-Cleaver, a man named Si Coltrane, appeared. He was a journalist, known to Tool and Bridges, and was ready to frame Custer for the killings. But he had made one grave mistake - he had tried to kill Custer's girlfriend, Tulip. Custer punched Coltrane, and with a voice like the Voice of God, Custer commanded him to die. Which Coltrane did.

To cover his tracks, Custer used Tool's gun to shoot Coltrane in the head. In return for letting the world see him as a hero for once, Tool let Custer go. Tool received a medal for his bravery and heroism, was promoted twice, and lost both his arms two years later in a glazing accident.

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