The Joe Soap wiki last edited by Billy Batson on 07/21/13 12:06PM View full history

It's not often that you hear about someone who was chemically castrated by accident. But when you do, you just have to know how it happened.

He had gone in to the police station to work out some parking tickets that he had gotten by mistake. He was sitting there and thought he heard someone call his name. So he raised his hand and went with the officer.

The officer gave him some forms to sign, which he did, figuring it was standard procedure. He was then put into a car and driven downtown - to the records office, he thought. But it wasn't to the records office - they took him to a hospital.

At this point, he figured something was wrong. He tried to ask questions and struggle, but all he got for answers were insults - "Shut up, pervert," and the like. He was strapped to a table, his pants were removed, and he was injected with a very large needle.

As it turned out, he had misheard his name at the police station - he heard them call "Joe Soap," but what they had really said was "John Soap."

John Soap was a convicted recidivist pedophile who had volunteered for chemical castration. Unfortunately, he wasn't there when the officer called his name, and Joe was.

The resulting lawsuit made Joe rich, as would be expected. But his wife, no longer sexually satisfied, filed for divorce from Joe. And she got all the money.

Joe went to work behind a bar for a living. Despite all he endured, though, he never lost his sense of hope and optimism.

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