Shocking news today came from the JLA. The Green Lantern, a founding member of the Justice League has been released due to the results of his drug test. The test revealed that the Green Lantern had been taking steroids. The Green Lantern had this to say about the test’s results.
“You have to understand here,” he said, visibly weary from the ordeal. “The rest of the guys, they’re always running and punching and lifting things. They get a workout just by doing their jobs. Me, what do I do? I think. I just hover there and whatever I think of, my power ring does. I may be flying around, but I have the superhero equivalent of a desk job. If I didn’t watch my figure, I’d end up putting on so much weight I’d have to change my name to the Green Lighthouse. Given a choice between spending half my time in the gym and actually, you know, saving the world, yeah, I did a few ‘roids.”
No word yet as to any other members guilty of juicing, however is seems that the Dark Knight has been cleared of all accusations. Accusation that first came out back in May of this year in the Atom’s book called Small-Time Justice. Batman could not be reached for comment. However Superman had this to say.
“While we have nothing but confidence in our members, and do not suspect any of them of wrongdoing, we understand the public interest in being sure that the nation’s, and indeed the planet’s, guardians are not involved in the use of performance-enhancing drugs, except for the Gingo juice that gives Elongated Man his powers. ” I’m going to have to expose myself to Kryptonite just to get a blood sample,” the deific visitor from the planet Krypton said. “I hope you’re happy. It hurts.”
something that made me laugh :D