Create the Worst Possible X-Men Team

Create a team of X-Men (max 8) that absolutely will not work because:

1. Characters can't get along.

2. Team members lack the powers to beat back threats.

3. The team is completely unappealing to fans

or

4. The group is so incompetent that they'd crash the X-Jet before it launched to fight the bad guys.


And just for fun, tell how this team would fail.

Beak as the leader, because at least one brave guys is needed;

Eye-Guy as the boy who casually found himself in the wrong X-Jet;

Glob Herman, the dumbest mutant who thinks to be the coolest;

current Marrow, because she's just too crazy and we need a psycho Wolverine;

Toad, the redeemed villain, what Magneto or Emma Frost have been to the X-Men before, Toad would be to this team(yup, it'd be boring and annoying for any reader);

adult Ernst(our femme fatale, because every team needs an ugly, old, almost dying superstrong bad girl);

Jean Grey costumed Deadpool as a supporting character, alongside with Bob Agent of Hydra.

I'm pretty sure that they will not find the keys for the X-Jet or kill each themselves in the meantime

The Extreme X-Force

• Cable
• Hope Summers
• X-Man
• Blink
• Adam X
• Stacy X
• Xorn

Cable recruits this team for a mission that he doesn't expect anyone to survive from. Hope finds out about the mission, but not that it's a suicide mission, and volunteers. Not wanting to have to tell Hope that he doesn't expect the team to make it back, he tells her he needs her to find X-man so she can copy his powers for a key part of the mission (which is really just for her to survive it). Though he intends for this to be wild goose chase in itself, she tracks down X-man fairly simply with help from Blink. Secretly, by seeing the flaws in Cable's cover-plan, Hope actually does know that the mission is a suicide mission and that's why she wants to go on it, thinking she can save them all.

Can she?

@oldnightcrawler: I'd read that.

Beak

Stacy X

Xtreme

Strongman

Cypher

Maggott

Beak

The chick is u hit her automatically activates her shield powers(she had locs bastion story line)

Dust

Doug ramsey

Healer

Vamp jubilee

I think Beak is a given, as he is THE most useless X-Man

Skin he has a lot of extra skin. that is his power. he is probably uncircumcised.

herman glob is one ugly SOB

leech, actually by nullifying their powers he may make them more effective

maggot would shape them into greatness

@squares: I started with all my least favorite X-men and ended up being curious about the premise, so I guess that's a good sign, depending on how you slice it..

@oldnightcrawler: I feel like cursing because that is rather good.

Transonic

Blindfold

Pixie

Morph

Trance

Nature Girl

A flying blue nudist, a blind chick, a fairy that spritzes lsd, a guy who looks like you, a girl who spaces out, and miss animal queendom walk into a bar where Juggernaut and the Absorbing Man are having a drink... Stop me if you've heard this one before.

@runnerup: lol I think Pixie saves the day in that scenario

Yeah me too :)

Good one, I'll have to think about it.

@drizzle1030: I don't think there's an X-man named Healer, and "The chick is u hit her automatically activates her shield powers(she had locs bastion story line)" is likely Cecelia Reyes.

Scott Summers as leader - crippling self-doubt, hit his head and can't turn off his powers? I mean come on man!

Bobby Drake as the lancer - so unfocused and childish his powers will never be used for anything good.

Hank McCoy as the big guy - giant perv, and all he can do is jump around and hang off the ceiling?

Jean Grey as smart guy - her powers of moving things with her mind will come in really handy for keeping all these man-children apart while they fight

Warren Worthington - has wings that can easily be taken out by any enemy.

.....

Please don't hurt me.

@squares: yeah..i couldnt remember her name... and the guys on uncanny xmen... whos name i cant also remember

i figured someone would mention the O5 eventually...

@drizzle1030: I think his name is Triage.

A break from studying so I'll play!

Team Members:

• Gosamyr (alien that causes males to fight over her via empathic powers; the aliens weren't able to teach her to curb her species' nature so she's always in the mood to sow discord)
• Cypher (linguistic skills that got a major h2h power amp)
• Gambit (very powerful yet unreliable charmer)
• Skin (skin-stretching powers)

Team Dysfunction/Cause of Failure(s):

*Gosamyr's powers make the other three team members constantly get into fights since they're males

*This team lacks the power to take on any threat beyond middling

*While some of the members are somewhat competent, none have a clear leadership-type personality, making the team function below ultimate capacity

*Fans generally hate 3 of the 4 characters (Gambit's the fan favorite)

Team's Failure:

Some surviving members of the Church of Humanity (normal guys and girls with weapons) attack a random city. Gambit is off in a casino somewhere romancing a random woman, and doesn't watch the news to hear about it so is preoccupied with passionate activities. While Cypher tried to convince the team that they needed communicators, Gosamyr's powers made them all disagree. During the ensuing battle, Skin is killed and crucified when the members start arguing and abandon the battlefield. Cypher is killed when he is attacked by a gang of the Church. Gosamyr is killed when some random aliens that hate her species track her down before she can find Gambit. Gambit knows of none of this, since he's off doing what he does best, and he later goes on to join another random X-Men Squad, learning after the fact that his last team fell apart.

Sales are so bad that this all happens in the middle of issue 2. The rest of the issue deals with a What If? story about what would happen if the All New, All Different lineup became the Inner Circle of the Hellfire Club and fought the X-Men. The issue is a best seller collector's item because of the backup story, and the GCGS team is so hated that the cover doesn't even show them - it is a very beautiful painted Paolo Rivera cover showing Storm wearing a fur mantle and harness, Wolverine, Colossus and Nightcrawler wearing period gentleman's garments.

Rogue, Toad, Dazzler, Strong Guy, Skin.

'Nuff said.

Hellion (Cyclops)

Strong Guy (Beast)

Cypher (Angel)

X-Man (Jean Grey)

Iceman (Iceman)

i think the current kids in Bendis' Uncanny fit this bill well. As do Aaron and Latours group of kids that they choose to focus on at the school