Hello, it is I, Zem the Mattress! I am here to announce a very exciting new opportunity! I, Zem, have banded together with other Zems and we will solve CRIMES! I flurgle in happiness at the thought. It will be just like CSI, but with more polyester.
Now join me in a rousing chorus of the MATTRESS SONG!!!:
Oh I am a mattress,
A mattress am I
I live on Sqournshellous Zeta
Where it is never dry,
I lie in the mud and annoy robots,
What a great life a mattress has gots
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Next verse!
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I am nice and springy
Nice and springy am I
My polyester filling
Makes the allergic cry
Robots run away as I talk all day,
What a great life, a mattress has got
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I am a striped mattress,
A striped mattress am I
My blue horizontal stripes
Makes the robots cry
I like icecream, something something something....
What a great life Zem the Mattress has got!
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I love everything,
Love everything do I,
Especially icecream,
Which gets in the robots circuits and makes him die
Icecream is nice on Squornshellous Zeta where it is very hot,
What a great life Zem the Mattress has got!
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OOC infos: So this is pretty much what it sounds like: Zem the Mattess is leading an all-mattress crime-fighting squad. To join, create a profile Zem the [Adjective] Mattress, and join up! An example would be Zem the Invincible Flying Mattress, or Zem the Intelligent Mattress, or as the ongoing joke goes, Zachary the Hipster Futon.
Then we will solve crimes. Probably in this thread. You can come mess with the mattresses if you want, mattresses seriously don't care. Also, every single mattress is named Zem.
All of them.
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