#1 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Red L.A.M.P. says

"Vine Villains is an international coalition of super villains. We represent the cretinous novice and the super crime boss alike. Join VV and reap the benefits of membership, such as medical and dental, and up to 2 annual prison breaks should you find yourself incarcerated."

For Current Membership Visit Vine Villians page

-If you are a villain join up today just leave a comment on the thread or PM the link below

-Team Page http://www.comicvine.com/myvine/Vine%20Villians/

This thread is for recruitment and Vine Villian news and discussions please have respect for the site and the members on it.

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Post Edited:2008-05-05 10:51:09

#2 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio
#3 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio
  1. You will have more friends Peter Parker was a social outcast. Norman Osborne was the popular kid. Reed Richards was a dorky scientist. Victor Von doom was a rich socialite. Anyone else sensing a pattern here? Everyone wants to get a little piece of the evil. It is like Starburst.

  2. You get to laugh maniacally Good guys don’t get to do this. No one has ever heard Superman or Batman laughing like a maniac and no one ever will. Trust me, this is something everyone wants to do. It is strangely liberating. While you may pass chances to do this every once in a while during your civilian life, you will never get the quantity of opportunities that come with a career in villainy.

  3. All of a sudden, you will have the budget for all kinds of toys Super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. It also seems to be recession-proof. I hear the tax breaks are good too.

  4. Hot chicks dig evil guys You never see an evil villain with a busted ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire, but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dudes chicks. Studies don’t ever lie.

  5. You will be safe from everyday accidents Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn’t happen. You won’t slip in the shower, get smashed by a falling piano, or die of food poisoning. The only way you can be killed is in an explosion created by the hero by exposing the one flaw in your plan that no one could ever possibly foresee. Even then…

  6. You don’t have to worry about anyone killing you Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain eviler than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path of world domination.

  7. You can kill anyone you want You won’t go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is overwhelming. You could kill Superman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union.

  8. You get to dress how you want You never have to wear a suit and tie again. You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can’t be killed back. Remember, no one ever made fun of Magnetos helmet…

  9. No matter how weak you are, you will be more than a match for any hero facing you “But zero, Batman would kick my ass in two shakes of a stripper’s ass…” None of that matters. The sheer newness of your evil plot will confuse the hell out of any good guy. As long as you aren’t doing something that has been done to death (ie goblin themed villains) you should have no problem getting your plans off the ground.

#4 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

1.You need a castle

Preferably one in the mountains of some remote eastern European country. When shopping for a good stronghold, always remember to look for proper dungeon space, good schools, and a self destruct option. A skull on the exterior announcing your evilness to all visitors is optimal. Make sure you opt for full coverage homeowners insurance, as the self destruction option will inevitably be put to use at some time during your career.


2.You need an army of ninjas

A lot of villains overlook this. You must be able to back up your demands with good old fashioned ass kicking’s, the kind of ass kicking’s that can only be delivered by roving gangs of rogue ninjas. Make sure you do not hire ninjas without reputable references, as most ninjas on the market nowadays are just out of work pirates in black costumes.

3.You need a laser

No plan for world domination is complete without a laser to point at things. Lesser villains use laser pointers to disrupt movie premiers. Note that this does not count as having a laser. This only counts as being an asshole

4.You need a video camera

You have to have some way to announce your plans to the world, and by video camera, I don’t mean a ten dollar webcam and YouTube. Don’t be so cheap. The world will never take you seriously, no matter how many ninjas you may have, if you are featured on websites next to the Numa Numa kid

5.You need a tank of sharks

You do not need any shark food. It is a good idea to store them in what looks like a regular pool so when the hero tries to penetrate your fortress and decides to take a leisurely swim he will get eaten. It may sound ridiculous, but studies show that 90% of all heroes who have attempted infiltration are eaten by sharks while swimming in villain’s pools.

6.You need a British accent

No one quite knows what it is, but there is just something sinister about the way people from Great Brittan talk. Just the sound of it inspires thoughts of arrogance and indifference. Skeletor, the greatest villain in history, seems to be the lone exception. He doesn’t even have to talk to be evil.

You need a staff of imbeciles

7.You need a staff of imbeciles

Every villain with any real aspirations of world domination surrounds himself by at least six or seven people who can and most likely will fuck everything up. These people are kept on the payroll to make you look good with the stipulation that they will eventually be killed for their insolence. They understand this when they are hired. The trick is to kill them at the second before they hit the self destruct button prematurely.

8.You need a control room

It has to have a lot of computer stuff in it and some guy who lives there. The guy who lives there has to know everything about everything and advise you in a wise way. Of course, this is advice you piss on every chance you get, but it is always good to have it around to curse when your plans fail.

9.You need a monkey

The reason no villain has ever conquered the world is because he has never had a monkey. It is a proven fact that a man with a monkey can not be defeated. Do not argue this with me. I have a monkey, you can not win.

#5 Posted by copycat989 (9 posts) - - Show Bio

Post Deleted.

#6 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Welcome copycat989 may you spread evil thru out the world.

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Post Edited:2007-07-29 15:31:19

#7 Posted by M The Mordant (3 posts) - - Show Bio

M the Mordant is in!

#8 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

Why do you keep making evil threads that say the same thing? If you were really good at your job you wouldn't need to keep repeating yourself.
Post Edited:2007-02-25 16:30:55

Moderator
#9 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

M The Mordant says:

"M the Mordant is in!"

Welcome M The Mordant may your evil deeds be know thru out the world.

#10 Posted by Sipsi (8 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks fo the invitation. I would like to join this team of Vine Villians.

#11 Posted by Metal Head (112 posts) - - Show Bio

Buckshot says:

"Why do you keep making evil threads that say the same thing? If you were really good at your job you wouldn't need to keep repeating yourself.
Post Edited:2007-02-25 16:30:55"

Feh. Only a non-Evil person would ask such a ridiculous question!!! You probably think us evil villains are silly for discussing our entire plans and weaknesses, while the obviously helpless hero is in our grasp with no chance of escaping. Preposterous!

#12 Posted by Ravenlissa (5 posts) - - Show Bio

I would love to become a member of the vine villains, please add me, Ravenlissa

#13 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Sipsi says:

"Thanks fo the invitation. I would like to join this team of Vine Villians."

Welcome Sipsi we glady accept you into the Vine Villians as long as you continue the spread of evil.

#14 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Ravenlissa says:

"I would love to become a member of the vine villains, please add me, Ravenlissa"

Well the Vine Villians would love to add you to its ranks.

#15 Posted by Fourpower (R.I.P) (2021 posts) - - Show Bio

Post Deleted.

#16 Posted by Fourpower (R.I.P) (2021 posts) - - Show Bio

Obviously, since I was simply pretending, I'd like membership back into the Vine Villians. For new evils-you read Mags' posts and guidelines. He's the man. Don't just skip over those walls of text, they are VALUABLE info.

#17 Posted by Dr_Gee (83 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks for the invite..i would gladly join

#18 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Dr_Gee says:

"Thanks for the invite..i would gladly join"

Welcome Dr_Gee hope to hear of your evil experiments for years to come.

#19 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Welcome back fourpower how was it on the other side.

#20 Posted by G-Man (37022 posts) - - Show Bio

Staff
#21 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

Moderator
#22 Posted by Vine Villians (899 posts) - - Show Bio
#23 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

An account for your team.

Moderator
#24 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

you two are so cute no wonder you are both neutrals

#25 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

By the way no one huged me as a child thats why i'm really evil

#26 Posted by G-Man (37022 posts) - - Show Bio
Staff
#27 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

Moderator
#28 Posted by G-Man (37022 posts) - - Show Bio

Him...seems a little...dim?

Staff
#29 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm also just trying to improve the site with new ideas like a team page. Its not my fault evil came up with it first ok.

#30 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

My Evil brothers are ranks are growing everyday soon we will be able to conquer Canada

#31 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

Your ranks may be growing, but you're still severely outnumbered.

Moderator
#32 Posted by Noir_Dark (861 posts) - - Show Bio

Here's a couple things you can do to evil up your life

Give the finger to an authority figure, spit in a public place, sing annoying yet catchy jingles so people get them stuck in their head, wear miss matched socks, don't signal while driving (it's nobodies business where you're going), keep your lawn in poor condition, don't flush after using public toilets.

Use your imagination. Remember kids, evil starts with you!

#33 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Wonderful words of advise for todays youth and tomorrow's evil villians.

#34 Posted by ThunderBlaze (127 posts) - - Show Bio

aren't you the youth magneto?

or is that 4power?
Post Edited:2007-02-27 16:40:57

#35 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

That would be fourpower.

#36 Posted by ThunderBlaze (127 posts) - - Show Bio

Right he's the one who's 11

#37 Posted by Fourpower (R.I.P) (2021 posts) - - Show Bio

Age does not determine evility. Besides, my birthday is soon...I'll be twelve.......

#38 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

hes one of the youngest yet also one of the most evil.

#39 Posted by Fourpower (R.I.P) (2021 posts) - - Show Bio

And I've got more points then you. I'm a functioning member of Comic Vine just like all of you.

#40 Posted by ThunderBlaze (127 posts) - - Show Bio

Dude it doesn't matter i was just saying...and i also suck in contributing so i function less when it comes to comic vine....

#41 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

SUBTLE!

Moderator
#42 Posted by G-Man (37022 posts) - - Show Bio

They need all the help they can get.

Staff
#43 Posted by ThunderBlaze (127 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh and by the way can i join the Vine Villians?

#44 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

ThunderBlaze We welcome all those who desire to bring evil to the world.

Ignore these two they are just upset you left being a neytral and found abetter way of life.
Post Edited:2007-02-27 17:31:24

#45 Posted by Buckshot (18919 posts) - - Show Bio

Wow. I really thought Mags was smarter than this.

Moderator
#46 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

What that ThunderBlaze might be a spy like fourpower of course it crossed my mind.

#47 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

But the real question is, is he a double double agent.

#48 Posted by G-Man (37022 posts) - - Show Bio

A Double Bubble agent?

Staff
#49 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

Double Mint Gum

#50 Posted by Mighty Magneto (13027 posts) - - Show Bio

I have not added him to the list here or on our team page its cool.