Talk Show

This is the place where we do shows about relationships, paternity tests, and settle other disputes here on the vine.

audience applauds

hmm I remember when I did that same joke months ago...

YAY

"Ah Dr. Phil, I've got a problem........sob sob. My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. -Nealda in Rhode Island
"

"Hawk said:

"Ah Dr. Phil, I've got a problem........sob sob. My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. -Nealda in Rhode Island
"

Alright Nealda....

Crew, can we get a picture of Nealda put up on the screen please?"

O_O LMFAO XD

almost throws up a little in his mouth

Alright Nealda, I'm gonna be real straight with you for a minute..... You are an UGLY person.  But don't worry, there's hope for you yet.... Plastic Surgery.  After you get some lypo and a whole lot more, your husband might not want to throw up whenever you're intimate.  It's all in my new book ....holds up book.... called I NEED Plastic Surgery.  Tell you what I'll do for ya darlin', I will send you a copy of this book....  All you have to do is pay shipping and handling.

.......

LMAO

Dr. Phil..I got a problem..

Next up, "The Flowers & The Bee's" Brought To You By Doctor Doom!

"Dr. Phil said:

"Hawk said:

"Ah Dr. Phil, I've got a problem........sob sob. My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. -Nealda in Rhode Island
"

Alright Nealda....

Crew, can we get a picture of Nealda put up on the screen please?"

"

"sob sob....
                            
Doctor Phil, I have a problem, I can't stop looking at Elephant Porn. - Doug from Wyoming"

"Next up, "The Flowers & The Bee's" Brought To You By Doctor Doom!"

"Dr. Phil..I got a problem.."

Not in Dooms book

A Picture of Doug

"A Picture of Doug

"

"Obi Wan Kenobi! said:

"Dr. Phil..I got a problem.."

Meet my next guest.... Obi.

Hello Obi.  How can I help you today?"

That's alright Obi.....

You know, as MEN, we often fear things that are much bigger and more powerful than us.  In this case, that thing that much bigger and more powerful is ALSO a man-hater.  Now son, have you ever come into contact with this horrible, monstrous thing?

"That's alright Obi.....

You know, as MEN, we often fear things that are much bigger and more powerful than us.  In this case, that thing that much bigger and more powerful is ALSO a man-hater.  Now son, have you ever come into contact with this horrible, monstrous thing?"

In that case.....

There is nothing to fear.  Just remember that the....thing....on your TV in STAYING on your TV.  Now, even when you see it in HIGH DEF you have to remember that it's not real, OK?  Now repeat after me.....

"I am not afraid of the man-hating monsters on my television screen... but if I see one in real life, I will RUN LIKE HELL."

"I am not afraid of the man-hating monsters on my television screen... but if I see one in real life, I will RUN LIKE HELL"

the door swings open and in walks the horrible monster

Dr. Phil, I have a question for the Only Wan guy...

::tear rolls down cheek::

HE WAS ONLY A CHILD!

My next guest is a mother who is trying to find out who the father of her children truly is....

::applause::

Welcome to the show, Drifter....

Now, I hear that you don't know whether or not your child is your own...

::gasp::

Well, the good news is..... WE HAVE THE RESULTS!!!!

The bad news... is that there are TWO OTHER CANDIDATES!!!

Please welcome one of the possible candidates.... HAWK!!!

"Welcome to the show, Drifter....

Now, I hear that you don't know whether or not your child is your own..."

ME!!!!!! Well I'll be a mother F...........

::gasp::

First off.... Drifter, can you tell us about your relationship with the mother?

"First off.... Drifter, can you tell us about your relationship with the mother?"

"Dr. Phil said:

"First off.... Drifter, can you tell us about your relationship with the mother?"

Yeah....

It's quite good"

OOOOHHHHH!

"TheDrifter said:

"Dr. Phil said:

"First off.... Drifter, can you tell us about your relationship with the mother?"

Yeah....

It's quite good"

So from your perspective, it's good?

Now, this doubt of who the child's father really is.... is that coming from YOU or from HER?"

I see....

Now HAWK, what's your take on this whole situation?

"I see....

Now HAWK, what's your take on this whole situation?"

"Dr. Phil said:

"I see....

Now HAWK, what's your take on this whole situation?"

Man I don't know that girl....I ain't never seen that girl. That baby don't even look like me. I'm olive toned!! That baby is cream"