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Posted by Icarusflies (12503 posts) - - Show Bio

Okay, I've been putting this off for a long time now, but I think it's finally time to call it quits.

It's been an incredible few years. Originally, I RPGed to escape the misery my life had become. Before you all cry 'melodramatic', let me just specify that I was stuck at home, desperately sick, basically unable to leave, for a YEAR. Having just started high school, I had no friends, and no energy to spend time with them even if I had them. While comic books had consumed my world, they weren't enough. Comic Vine was a saving grace since I could interact with people who shared similar interests without leaving my home or exhausting myself. It took a while, but eventually I found the RPG section. A whole new world opened. I learned how to write. I created worlds. It was freeing, it was exhilarating. I looked forward to getting up each day to write.

Gradually I got better, my illness became manageable. I went back to school, and made friends. I still spent all my free time writing. I decided I wanted to be a writer professionally. I finally began to make my mark on the RPG world. People knew who I was. I won the best writer award one year. I was relevant.

My posts became longer and more intricate. It took more time, more energy to craft each one. I became unsatisfied by the short posts I used to make, the posts devoid of intricacies and tangents.

I advanced to the semi-finals of the KOV. I was devastated when I lost.

I did some fan-fic writing, just to see if I could.

Time passed. I was not as active. I had a real life now, and it exhausted me. I did not have the focus or the time for the kind of all-consuming writing I had been able to put forth. I felt myself a failure for being unable to produce as much. People still remembered me, but not as anyone who mattered.

I started working on independent projects, largely in outline form.

I advanced to the finals of the KOV. I became interested in expanding my own mythos. I began to have difficulty working other people into my stories. I knew what I wanted to happen. But once I structured the story for myself, I lost interest. Real life kept knocking me down. I had recurrent illness.

I took creative writing in school. I loved it, of course. Having the structured deadlines, the prompts, inspired me.

I tried to show my teacher some of my comic writing, but he complained. He said he wished I would turn my attention to short stories and poetry, and abandon my work with others. I ignored him.

That summer, I took a creative writing program at a college. I discovered rigidly structured poems, which delighted me, and wrote several short stories that I consider among my best work.

The writer Ransom Riggs came in for a workshop. He gave us all a prompt, in groups. The best story from each group would be voted on by another, and read out loud. Mine was chosen. Ransom Riggs GUSHED over it, said how wonderful it was. When I introduced myself, he was extremely kind. He told me to keep writing.

Over the years, I met my idols. They were more than I imagined them to be.

My writing dropped off sharply. I still loved it, but school had become demanding. I was tired all the time, and struggling against illness. There was so much to do. I made more friends and spent time with them.

I managed to write for the first few days of NaNoWriMo, but real life circumstances (including the desperate need to deal with my college applications and the death of my beloved guinea pig, Tater Tot) forced me to stop.

I fell into a severe bout of illness after the college application process. I began to suffer from migraines on a regular basis.

Eventually my doctor told me I needed to get more sleep, and I HAD to be offline by 10:00. I did for a while, though I wanted to stay online and write. Isn't that how it always works?

I managed to get elected as President of the United States here, with Premonition. I was ecstatic.

The CVnU was put into place just as I was about to start doing things. Angry, I basically stopped writing. Luckily, a writer I care about very much here ended my hissy fit and got me to actually get elected. Again.

I love the CVnU.

Worked for me! Premonition became president of the nU, and I got more writing done than I had in months. This bothered me.

A new crop of RPGers showed up. They did not know my name.

I set up the KOV. I was eliminated in the first round, which made me sad, but I was actually okay. I really enjoyed setting up the stages.

Pyrogram managed to pull me out of my writer's block, and I wrote more, and was more excited to write, than I had been in too long.

Even that activity fizzled out. I haven't posted in our latest RP in a month.

I leave for college in a week, so this seems like a good stopping point. It's time to walk away and find new horizons. I want to focus on my independent work. I want to build my characters into their own world.

I cannot thank you all enough.

Maybe at some point I'll return. I might jump into some small RPGs in the future. I don't really know. I'm going to try to finish up the stuff with Pyrogram, and the Vine Villains. I WILL make sure the KOV concludes. But after that...

Well, I don't know.

I'm not leaving the site, I love moderating and chatting. But I will bid RPGs adieu.

I'm just not relevant anymore. I just don't have the drive to write.

Good luck to you all, and thanks for a great few years.

Moderator
#1 Posted by Kratesis (4266 posts) - - Show Bio

You've been fantastic Icarus. Delightful characters, wonderful stories, and great roleplay. If its time to move forward in your life, I understand, but know that you will be missed around here :-)

#2 Posted by ThisIsGonnaHurt (30177 posts) - - Show Bio

#3 Posted by _Animus_ (2534 posts) - - Show Bio

You'll be back some day ;P

I told you when I first got here I thought you were one of the best and I still stand by it. Everyone of your characters deserves their own title, sh!t you deserve your own printing company. Good luck.

#4 Posted by Pyrogram (38336 posts) - - Show Bio

As Krate said, if you feel it's time to move forwards, we all understand.

You've been amazing, simply astonishing, one of the best writers I've ever had the pleasure of writing with and I will never forget how fun it was writing with you, from the first few times with (old) Xenon and Destiny in Gothic to Stark and Premonition while taking your brain over!

You will be missed dearly! - Good luck with your future aspirations in writing :)

Online
#5 Posted by _Quickster_ (1531 posts) - - Show Bio

Ick...I don't know what to say. I miss you.

#6 Posted by Risky (12629 posts) - - Show Bio

Sorry to see you go but I understand very well. I disagree on the point of relevance, to me you are VERY relevant, a personal level as well as on a writing level. (Premo is the president after all, whose oppressive state can I claim to fight otherwise?) It was an honor to rpg with you and the KOV you hosted was the first I EVER took part in because the settings were so unbelievably fantastic. I'm glad things are working out for you so well, I've read a book by Ransom Riggs (the one with the island full of kids) and it was really good. I could have told you you have enormous talent before but sometimes it simply needs a real professional who doesn't know you to believe it. Make sure to visit the rpg boards from time to time so we don't lose contact over time. Looking forward to see you around. I wish you the best I'm capable of wishing.

Your (future KOV Champion ;p jk)

Risky

#7 Posted by _Quickster_ (1531 posts) - - Show Bio

Guess it's my fault we never got to do anything. I can't say anything to stop you from going but if it's about you don't feel relevant then I might just lose it. You're the reason the opera is in me.

I can't even make a joke about the first time we met.

#8 Posted by Arquitenens (3996 posts) - - Show Bio

A paroxysm of emotion.

I can't help but feel bad when someone leaves, especially for something like that, even if we didn't speak much. I feel...touched. Reading all of that, it resonates on so many levels with me. I get to thinking, so many things. If this is what you want, no one can stop you, but I loved having you around. Even if I don't always say things, I read many of the things you wrote, and enjoyed them, and I'd love to keep having you around. But if you really need to go, and the reasons for leaving outweigh those for staying, you'll be missed, and you could always come back if you're bored.

Because as Gambler once said, the ones who announce it always come back. It's the ones who just up and vanish without a trace that you have to worry about.

#9 Posted by Pokergeist (22351 posts) - - Show Bio

GL in future projects.

#10 Edited by Lord_Johnathan (3300 posts) - - Show Bio

@cadencev2 said:

GL in future projects.

Wait...why are you here?

I'm disappointed to see you go Icky, but I can understand having other commitments.

#11 Posted by Pokergeist (22351 posts) - - Show Bio

@cadencev2 said:

GL in future projects.

Wait...why are you here?

LOL I do not simply sulk in the Caves of the Battle Forums on Comic Vine all the time. I venture out into other forums every now and then.

#12 Posted by _Cain_ (23670 posts) - - Show Bio

No freaking way... Icarus you were always legitimately one of the nicest people on the sight, whenever you were on you always had free time to go into little chats that became weirdly awesome fast. You designed at leas fifty characters that I could actually see being in the comics due to their uniqueness. You will always be remembered, and if there's a HOF this year...Well I'll just say that I know who i'll be voting for ;P

Anyways, if you ever feel like talking or coming back, I'm here as an option, but until

Then, I wish ya the best. Stay Gold.

#13 Edited by Crimson Eagle (1848 posts) - - Show Bio

I hope all goes well for you Icarus and hopefully you'll come back for one shots or open events. ^_^

#14 Posted by Cassius_Knightfall (8254 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: But you are my master your retirement would leave me as a Ronin. This is unacceptable !

#15 Posted by Inner_Demon (1805 posts) - - Show Bio

You are a class act, and I can see nothing but success for you, in whatever labors you undertake. Farewell, but know that you will always have friends here.

#16 Posted by AmazingAngel (4121 posts) - - Show Bio

If you move forward as fast as I'm sure you will there will always be things you leave behind but remember if you ever decide to stop for a moment and look back we'll always be right behind you with open arms.

Thanks for always being so nice, especially when I was a noob, thanks for the awesome Vine Hell fight I still remember, thanks for encouraging me as a writer and most of all......thanks for the Guinea Pigs!

As a parting gift here's some (kinda blurry) pictures I just took of my Pigs grazing in the garden.

Thanks for everything, good luck and I hope you get a chuckle out of the fact that after all this time and even reading the OP I still didn't know you were Premonition. :P

#17 Posted by Street_Samurai (320 posts) - - Show Bio

Miss you alreadies... Chaos is sure to follow this decision... Too much evil left behind... Not enough good to counterbalance anymore... CV explodes.

#18 Posted by 614azrael (10311 posts) - - Show Bio

I like almost cried not cool amiga not cool!

Seriously this is like the worst rp day in the history of rp days because of this news. You were, are and always will be one of the best writers of the vine. Most people are highlights in particular fields known for something. You however are one of the writers who really was known for it all. Action scenes you were exciting, emotional moments you trigger feelings, setting the stage for a rp or event or whatever bloody poetry in motion. People like to poke fun at those who have a crap load of characters, but it was hard to even tease you on that because all of your characters seem to get legit moments once put to use. Not only that but you just naturally had a gift for making teams and rps simply better. The band rp totally silly and just kind of out there but you and Grifter ended up making that into something a lot of fun. Erica was a short character run but yet honestly that was my favorite time on the Children of the Damned. And our fight in the KOV was one of my favorite matches of all time right up there with Risky and the battles with Assault/Mercenary. To me you are always relevant something being done by you just instantly grabs attention I think. Then there was that one team you had on the Eagle Eye, I can’t remember the team name I’m sketchy on who all was on the team besides Ult Portrait and yet that post that your rp and post encouraged made me deliver the most accurate post of my favorite alt(which in hindsight that post probably means nothing but it was special to me lol). The point is you bring out the best in a rper and your writing was absolutely sublime. And so while writing this is damn depressing and thinking about there being no chance of seeing more cv work from you is heart breaking, I want you to know. I love you, you’re an amazing writer and I’m positive you’ll excel in whatever you do. And should you come back of course my pm is always open

#19 Posted by _Cain_ (23670 posts) - - Show Bio

@614azrael: Fox Company: It was Mark, Alex ( FALLENprophet), Cain (me), Gideon, Mike (for a little bit), Ult Portrait, Rayne, Agent Walker, Puzzler, Mercenary, Rumor, Park, Number Seven and a couple of guys I don't actually think cared that they were on the team lol

That's probably my favorite team because A: It got all the neutrals together at the time B: After the team was dead me and Alex still had out characters drink and talk about absolutely nothing

#20 Edited by warlock360 (28050 posts) - - Show Bio

Was a fun ride with you, you'll be missed but I'm almost certain we'll see each other again sometime. Until then.

@warsman said:

#21 Posted by 614azrael (10311 posts) - - Show Bio

@shadowknight666: thats why I couldn't remember, it had everyone lol. Team was awesome one of the ones I really wish lasted longer and that I could of dumped even more time into(mid semester of college when it started) good times

#22 Posted by Assault (1091 posts) - - Show Bio
#23 Posted by ShadowSwordmaster (14422 posts) - - Show Bio

Good Luck and hope you do well on your studies.

clapping gif

#24 Edited by Icarusflies (12503 posts) - - Show Bio

@kratesis: Thank you! I've really enjoyed working with you, even if we didn't get to put our master plan in action back in the day.

@warsman: Thank you!

I just want to say I LOVED our KOV fight this year. It was a ton of fun, and you were wonderfully patient when you had to deal with my shenanigans.

@_animus_: Wow, thank you! I think there is a pretty decent chance that I'll come back at some point. I know I need to step away for a while, but that's not to say forever.

Having my own comics is my dream. It means so, so much that you'd be interested in them! Maybe someday you'll see my name on the shelves. >knock on wood< :)

@pyrogram: Thank you so much! I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The RPGs I've written with you lately have been some of the most fun in a LONG time. I'm constantly astounded by your energy here. Keep up the awesome work, and feel free to bounce ideas off me if you'd like.

@risky: Thanks so much, that's incredibly kind of you to say. It means a lot, especially since you were one of the people I really looked up to when I was a noob (...and still look up to now, not gonna lie). I'm really, really glad you're enjoying the KOV.

I'll absolutely keep in touch. Keep being the living legend you are! :)

@_quickster_: Nah, it was probably my fault. Generally when you were free, I wasn't, or when I was free it was 3:00 am. You've grown incredibly as a writer, don't you dare stop. You're one of the most lighthearted writers around here, and that's super important.

And if you won't make the joke I will: maybe you scared ME off this time. ;)

(You didn't. But I saw a joke opportunity and darn it, I took it)

@arquitenens: Thank you so much. And thank you for reading my work. I'm sorry we didn't get to do more! And Gambler probably has a point. I think there's a good chance I'll come back at some point. Not soon I don't think, but at some point in the future. So until then, good luck!

@cadencev2: Thank you!

@shadowknight666: Thanks a ton. I always enjoyed chatting with you too. :)

Hopefully someday in the future you can follow my adventures in actual comic books. I'm working hard to make that a reality. >knock on wood<

If I made Hall of Fame I'd probably come back and spam the forums with my joy for a few weeks. Nothing productive, just a lot of excitement. >_>

You know I'll let you know if I stage an epic comeback.

Stay cool, and good luck!

@crimson_eagle: Thank you!!! I'll probably be back sometime in the future, and I'll certainly be keeping an eye on all that transpires.

@cassuis_slay_knightfall: Carry on with my full blessing samurai. You've come so far from that newbie who had basically unbeatable telekinesis. It makes me proud to be your trainer.

@inner_demon: Thanks so much. Hopefully I will make you all proud. I'll try to stay away from the 'death ray' field of science. ;)

@amazingangel: Thanks dude. It means a lot to know there's a 'home-away-from-home' waiting here for me. Our hell fight was awesome, I even showed some of my friends. Keep writing!!!

AAAAAH GUINEA PIGSS!!!!!!!!! SO CUTTTEE!!!!!!!!!!! :D

@street_samurai: Haha, thanks. I'm sure you'll all manage to make this place even better than it is now though. :)

@614azrael: If that's how you feel, then I did what I set out to do. If I inspired anyone, if I made anyone excited to write in a story, if anyone really had fun, then I'm happy. I loved working with you too, you were always ready to step up to my level of crazy and escalate our RPs into awesome unknown territory. I ADORED our fight in the KOV. One of my favorites too. I'm going to have to go back and re-read all those old RPGs.

I wouldn't say there's NO chance of seeing anything else from me here. My guess is that I'll be back at some point, though it will probably be a while. I need to recharge, and figure out what else I'm doing with my life. If/when I come back I want it to be in a whirlwind of new ideas and styles and characters that I'm dying to test out.

So thank you. Thank you so, so much. I'm sorry this message isn't longer, but I keep tearing up when I try to read what you wrote. You've always been one of my good friends here, and you know full well you'll be on the top of my list if I want to stage a dramatic comeback.

@warlock360: I'm not leaving CV, just the RPG section. I'll still be around if people need me for whatever. And I think there's a pretty good chance that at some point in the future I'll be back. I dunno, but I wouldn't rule out the possibility. Thank you.

@assault: Thanks! I shall gleam with the burning of the sun. (It's a pun, 'cause I'm Icarus!). Seriously though, thank you.

@shadowswordmaster: Thanks man. I'll try my best. There's some pretty awesome creative writing classes at my school, so if I come back in the future maybe I'll have some new tricks up my sleeve.

------

I want to give a blanket thank you to everyone. Reading your responses made me cry, quite a lot. I did not expect such supportive responses to this post. Good luck to everyone, and hopefully I'll see you around!

Moderator
#25 Edited by Cassius_Knightfall (8254 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: You will be missed master. I will continue to try and follow your sage guidance, and in devour to continue making you proud.

#26 Posted by 614azrael (10311 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: Your crazy to have not expected 'such supportive responses' ^_^ I'll just leave it at that no need for all dis emotional jargin ;)

#27 Posted by Connoisseur (6579 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: We might not have really written together but I always admired your writing and creativity, especially with Portrait. You really incited activity in the nU with your stuff as the US president, I'll never forget that. I hope everything works out for you and maybe one day you'll be back :)

#28 Edited by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

This is how I cope. That is all.

#29 Posted by AmazingAngel (4121 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: Thank you, comments like that make me happy I made the choice to start writing and that's also why it's not gonna be the same without you here, I've also had problems with illness in the past and remember you ever wanna talk about it I'm here (I'm kinda good at that).

and not expecting a positive response, you crazy. :P

#30 Posted by _Quickster_ (1531 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: I don't know if I can be lighthearted without you.

#31 Posted by Icarusflies (12503 posts) - - Show Bio

@andres_knightfall: Thanks dude! Being the POTUS was one of my favorite things here. I'm really glad you liked it too! I think there's a very good chance I'll be back at some point in the future, I just need to step away for a while and get my real life and other work running smoothly. I'm sorry we didn't get to write together much, I admire your work here.

@tellumo: Haha, awwww.

@amazingangel: I will keep that in mind!

And I have extremely low self-esteem, I legit did not know what to expect with this.

@_quickster_: You just infinite-mass punched my heart. :P

Moderator
#32 Posted by _Quickster_ (1531 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: Remembrance! Recall it was my fault. "Like This Page" was all set up but then I got all busy on you and disappeared.

#33 Posted by ReEnforcer (2358 posts) - - Show Bio

We all know real life takes priority. College is important and that's what you need to focus on, its amazing that you came to that conclusion on your own most don't they think they can split their time. For now your hanging up your easel, putting down your brush and stepping away from your canvas one day you may return or you may not but I know your going to do great things. Focus on school and finding your passion in life it may be writing, which your fantastic at simply put one of the best but it may be something you don't even expect. One thing I want you to know is that your never irrelevant anyone who has participated in an rpg with you knows who you are and you will always have friends here. As someone who has an illness that caused me to spend years of my life in the hospital stay strong, remain optimistic and never give up. No matter how hard it is life is worth living, live everyday as it were your last, never miss a beat. Good luck and you shall be missed deeply.

#34 Posted by Charlemagne (6969 posts) - - Show Bio

I nominate myself as the new undisputed President of the United States.

Did I just take this heart breaking farewell and make it about me?

Hell Yeaaaaaaah!

#35 Posted by _Animus_ (2534 posts) - - Show Bio

I nominate myself as the new undisputed President of the United States.

Did I just take this heart breaking farewell and make it about me?

Hell Yeaaaaaaah!

Your point is valid though.

#36 Posted by Charlemagne (6969 posts) - - Show Bio

@_animus_: Maybe turn it into an event or something. Tie it into your Pacific Rim theme rp. (or is that out of canon?) Not me becoming president but a new president taking over in an extreme situation or whatever.

#37 Posted by Ellie_Knightfall (4819 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm gonna miss you so much, Icky :( Can't even articulate it.

#38 Posted by _Animus_ (2534 posts) - - Show Bio

@_animus_: Maybe turn it into an event or something. Tie it into your Pacific Rim theme rp. (or is that out of canon?) Not me becoming president but a new president taking over in an extreme situation or whatever.

Nah it's in canon. I think it should be separate though, got my own spins already in play plus I'd need to see where Icarus stands on Premo and writing him/getting him written out of office.

#39 Posted by Charlemagne (6969 posts) - - Show Bio

@_animus_: Then I'm back on my, "I'm Prez its law" bike

#40 Edited by _Animus_ (2534 posts) - - Show Bio
#41 Posted by Icarusflies (12503 posts) - - Show Bio

@_quickster_: That kinda thing happens, don't sweat it.

@reenforcer: Oh my gosh. I don't know how to respond, I'm extremely touched. Thank you. Thank you so, so much.

@ellie_knightfall: I'm going to miss you too!! I'll still be around if you want to chat or anything though, and you know I'll be happy to listen if you want to bounce ideas off me.

@the_last_arashikage: @_animus_: Basically my last thing before I go is going to be an explanation of how Premonition gets out of office. I'm not leaving that hanging, and I'm sure as heck not letting it be a coup. It will be dramatic. It will be surprising. IT WILL LEAVE IT OPEN FOR ME TO COME BACK WITH A FREAKING AWESOME TAKEOVER OF OFFICE IF/WHEN I RETURN!!!

Moderator
#42 Posted by Charlemagne (6969 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: You'll be back, the great ones always come back :D <3

#43 Posted by _Quickster_ (1531 posts) - - Show Bio
Take that, Icky's heart.

But not actually. Stay jovial. It's tough.

#44 Posted by The_Terramachy (23 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: Unless Agent California is in the office first.

America's first slutty president. :P

#45 Posted by RamJam (974 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: America's first slutty president. :P

Bill Clinton?

Unless you count Abe Lincoln but some people don't like to hear about that

#46 Posted by Guardian_of_Gravity (2979 posts) - - Show Bio

@ramjam said:

@the_terramachy said:

@icarusflies: America's first slutty president. :P

Bill Clinton?

Unless you count Abe Lincoln but some people don't like to hear about that

Well she'd have tits for one. :B

#47 Edited by RamJam (974 posts) - - Show Bio
#48 Posted by _Animus_ (2534 posts) - - Show Bio
#49 Posted by AmazingAngel (4121 posts) - - Show Bio

@icarusflies: Eh I get that some time to, I tend to go back and forth between 'nobody cares what I do' and 'I'm the big cheese around HYAH'.

It's done me a whole lot of good (mental health wise) sticking with the latter. So remember you're the big cheese and never think anything less.

#50 Posted by Risky (12629 posts) - - Show Bio

@ramjam said:

@the_terramachy said:

@icarusflies: America's first slutty president. :P

Bill Clinton?

Unless you count Abe Lincoln but some people don't like to hear about that

Well she'd have tits for one. :B

And again: Bill Clinton ;p

Or do man-boobs not count?