Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls children of all ages, G’bandit and Mistress redhead entertainments in association with wax ur jugs company presentTHE RUBBER DUCKY WARS!!!
Make your bets ladies and gentleman or you will get kick out of the pool area!! I am your host G’Bandit along in the pool side joining me in the transmission the lovely the fantastic beautiful and creator of this crazy even! Mistress redhead!! (crowd cheering) say Hi to the public and to our millions of listeners in all comic vine MR.. careful you don't fall in the pool..
She smiles as she sits down next to Bandit and smoothes out her dress..
GOOD EVENING EVERYONE ON THE VINE!! This is the event you have all been waiting for.. the race of the rubber duckies, no one thought it would happen but Bandit and I are dedicated to our beliefs and we know you will love this one. Bandit our lovely ladies down by the pool are ready with the duckies and the waterfall is set to go to push them down the stream...
And there-they-GO! ladies and gentleman remember the best ducky is masked one! they are going toe to toe, beak to beak, feather to feather, Flea to flea! They are Swimming like their life depend on it.. And literally it does! cause mine is going to the microwave if he loses!!! What I’m wondering is how long will this swimming contest will endure whit out turning into a duck bloodbath witch duck will be the one to start the commotion?!
Suicidy is looking at Bill who seem to be gaining the upper hand in this one.
(Sucidy then looks at G’bandit and Bandit shows Suicidy a picture of a roast duck and writes on the picture (suicidy) Suicidy in fear swims faster trying to pass Bill)
And there he goes ladies and gentleman look at him go! Suicidy is swimming faster than Jimmy Hoffa himself!! ladies and gentleman look at the speed of that duck!!! swiming like if the devil himself was after him slowly passing on Bill!!
"what are your thoughts on this MR? are you scared?"
look at him go he is biting at Suicideys feathers like a duck to water, hes going the little bugger fast as he can his lil horns are glistening with the water as his rubber wings flap for their life and his lil legs are going going going...
She uses her mind powers to send to Bill.. goood boy you can do it sugar make your mumma proud cause if you dont im going to mount you and put you ong the mantle.
HES TAKEN THE LEAD by his bill he is roaring past suicidey and taking over, oooh look ladies and gentlemen he has smacked Sucidiey in the head as he goes past and his lil knives have come out from his legs as he kicks past..
OHH HOO never trust and evil duck to play nice..
SCARED? why would i be scared Bandit.. MUAUAUAHAHAHAHAH
Ladies and gentlemen what you are witnessing is nothing short of brilliance on Bills part
HURRY UP YOU STUPID DUCK OR YOU’RE GOING TO THE FAMILY COOK OUT GRILL!!
Ladies and gentlemen you can see the carnage and evil on that duck bill you will never see Suicidy do such thing!! Suicidy is a nice little duck I’ve taken care of since he was hatc- uhh made in a rubber ducky factory! (hides the adopt a rubber ducky recite) he’s a nice little ducky! (audience awwww)
Suicidy’s eyes turn red and fangs appear as he laughs evilly (quackkahahaha!) he presses a button and sea mines pop out of the swimming trail and Suicidy begins to press the detonator exploding the mines while Bill passes through
Yea! That’s my duck! Just like daddy! I want that duck in BBQ suicidy! Get him!!! Or you will be on the platter instead of him! Get that red duck! Ladies and gentleman if you didn’t bring your kids you are the worse parents ever!!! Look at what they are missing! Look at Bill swimming for dear life as Suicidy detonates the explosives ladies and gents! Bill might have the upper hand for now but soon he’s luck might change!
You have to fear for your duck show him some respect MR before he is turn into Chinese take out! :P
Ladies and gentleman the super bowl and wrestlemania would never sit more butts in one same place as we have whit the rubber ducky Wars!
OH look at his prowess ladies and genltemen he adaptly dodges them all but NOOOO one of them damaged his wing but not before he strikes out at Suicidey with his knife leg, ooh no no he is flapping wiht one wing hes going round in circles.. nooo BILL you can do it come on sugar!!
OH THANK GOD ladies and gentlemen he has recovered niceley BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE
OH GO TO HELL THE LOT OF YOU
Thats it Bill you take him, ooooh look at his lil legs goo he is a nose ahead of suicidey and look he has dropped on of his patented.. poo traps.. ooh thats nasty indeed
How is suicidey going to deal with that one Bandit?
Nooo!!! Suicidy!! You have been wounded!! How you’re going to win!? (crowd, Noo!)
Suicidy bites Bill’s rubber butt feathers.
A marvelous move by the Suicidy ladies and gents biting Bill on its butt and holding on to Bill making bill drag him along but NOOO! Suicidy’s beak slips (crowd boo!) luckily the wound heals and he goes back in the competition Suicidy going head to head with Bill ladies and gentleman that is the champ-
Suicidy is slowing down he was cough on a poo trap
What the hell?! don’t that duck of yours have any home training MR?!
Ladies and gents this is a discussing sight indeed that we are witnessing that duck Bill must have drink a whole bottle of X-lax cause there is crap all over the place is a water world of E.Coli down here! where is the air fresheners cause I’m about to puke!
Bill again is going ahead as Suicidy fights he’s way out the poo trap
YES! HE’S OUT OFF THE POO! SWIIIM!! SWIM AS FAST AS YOU CAN YOU UGLY DAFFY DUCK WANNABE!
Ladies and gentlemen that duck better do something or we’ll be eating Duck soup today Suicidy looks at bandit and bandit grabs a knives and sharpen them while looking at Suicidy who is scared out of he’s plastic feathers but seem to have a plan B he grabs a battery hand fan and ties it up he’s back helping him gain speed YES! YES! Look at him go MR!! YES start looking for a tissue MR! cause there goes Suicidy gaining on Bill!!!
OHHH HOOOO people can you see the nasty habits that Suicidey has developed BITING on BILLS BUTT!! thats just wrong, bill cant help his pooing.. it just happens!
CROWD BOOS THE LIES
OH COME ON people dont be harsh, he is just a ducky for gods sake. Ok Bill thats it lil buddy take it take it.. but with one wing gone he seems to be lagging oh no come on lil guy you can do it, oh no.. suicidey is gaining on him hard, you CAN DO IT BILL COME ON YOU CAN YOU CAN
MR waves her hand under the table and suddenly Bill goes flying through the water
OHHH thats my lil guy look at him go thats amazing you can do it Bill we nearly at the end thats it lil buddy swim swim swim
Suddenly Bill stops and sinks to the botttom of the pool...
YES! YES! YES! LOOK HOW FAST SUICIDY IS GOING!! Looks like we are eating red duck today people!!! There’s no stopping him now!
Suicidy starts laughing and looks back at Bill and shows him he’s tongue and mocks Bill
YES just like daddy mock that red thing! Mock him, OH I LOVE THAT DUCK!… Suicidy? Suicidy LOOK OUT!!!!!!!!!!! Suicidy lost control the fan turn he’s trail crashing to a wall DAMN YOU! YOU STUPID DUCK GET BACK ON THE RACE!
Ladies and gentleman there have been a terrible accident!……my sandwich fell to the floor and I’m informed that we are out of ketchup in the sandwich cart.. Oh and Suicidy crashed also..
Suicidy saw what MR did for Bill and was waiting on bandit to do the same as he was drowning he extended he’s little wing at G’bandit as a tear drop from suicidy’s little cute watery eyes (crowd awwww) Everyone was looking at Bandit waiting on him to help Suicidy as Bill was about to win the race
(crowd help him, help him, help him!)
Bandit smiles and takes off he’s jacket it seems that he was going to do it, he was going to save Suicidy! But then… You stupid duck your costing me the race! You want some help here!CLEAR! Bandit throws a electric bomb at suicidy and it electrocutes the rubber ducky ( crowd BOOOOOO!)a whole bunch of soda cans and sandwich are thrown at Bandit from the crowd
Ladies and gentlemen haven’t you people seen in TV they use electro shock to help the patients! SEE I just tried to help Suicidy to revive!
MR sits in the water as she watches Bill try his hardest but the little guy just dies in her arms, a single tear falls down her face as she watches the little guys wings shudder as his last breath falls from his body...
THE CROWD SUDDENLY TURNS ON BANDIT AS HE DROPS A BOMB INTO THE WATER
Ladies and gentlemen, you can see from this diabloical show of horror that once again, evil is not as simple as RED and BLACK..
the crowd goes quiet as she gets out of the water and carries the dead body of Bill over to the table where the heartless Bandit sits..
she lays the body down onto the table and looks to the crowd who are all looking on in horror and shock..
Bandit.. today we have seen that duckies are not just duckies after all
Bandit sees as the people are all quiet after the latest even that end up in the death of two rubber ducks who where placed in the battle by them.
Bandit in a really emotional moment cherishing he’s sadness with the crowd he cries Suicidy!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!! COME BACK! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! MY DUCKY!! The pain!!!!!
But then suddenly something happen Suicidy pops out of the water and was looking with he’s droopy eyes at Bandit seem he wanted Bandit’s help out of the pool. Bandit’s watery eyes widen open while a smile was been drawn on he’s face as he saw Suicidy alive he’s face shined in emotion as he shouted..
YOU STILL ALIVE?! WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE TO DO TO KILLYOU! DIE YOU LOSER BIRD!!!!!!!!!!
Bandit grabbed a Mac-10 and (trakatatakakakakakakakkatatatkaaaka!) he shot suicidy until there was nothing left of it..
The crowd couldn’t believe what they had seen .. (BOOOOOO!!) the Crowd enraged and where throwing cans tomatoes and sandwiches at bandit as he tries to convince the crowd again,
Wait people, Suicidy was in pain and I just took him out of he’s misery is that so bad? He was suffering a agonizing pain!! I just couldn’t resist it! And had to empty my gun in he’s body to make sure nothing of him was suffering!..
But the Crowd didn’t buy it and out threw more sandwiches and rotten tomatoes at bandit until a trucker threw a bathroom sink knocking out bandit unconscious..
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