My past hasn't been something that I like to talk about...Rather than shame, I feel an anxiety... A hopelessness that follows my black skin. As if I were a box set stereotype complete with a tag reading "illegitimate" included in the set of disks that made me whole. I speak of my past in a distant pretense, but the reality is this has only come to be known by me very recently... Six months ago, I went for an annual check up with a doctor I'd never scene before... My fathers HMO no lingered covered me. It was fated that day be a reckoning of my world. At home that very day I confronted my father about the news... You see, I had been adopted. From where he would not say, I'm not so sure he could have told me if he wanted to. Never the less, my whole life had been to put a cliche on it; a lie. The man that I thought had given himself, the woman, now dead, that had given of herself to create me were not the ones that I grew with... The ones that I cried in front of... The ones that I were loved and scolded by. The truth of myself was now at best a cold case. I hadn't the time, nor the stomach to think about heritage. I couldn't think of myself as alone, although quite truthfully I felt lost and abandoned... Without a purpose. So, I poured knowledge over me.. I began to read, and watch, observe. A student of the world I became. No longer the lappy boy that worshiped the ground his father walked on. Needles to say our relationship has been strained ever since. Honestly, and I know that it sounds horrible. But I would rather my mother be dead that to have to face her, be angry with her... Maybe even hate her. I still haven't deciphered what it is that I'm feeling. I don't know what to call it, this void, but at the very same time a collage of emotions that fill me so. These deeply interpersonal emotions however do shape my views. As a liberal democrat, my father taught me that I was my brothers' keeper... Even as an only child I had a responsibility to my compatriots of the world.
It's my campaign slogan. "We are our brothers' keepers." it means so much to me that people understand that. Knowing that not all opportunities are created equal, and that while rugged individualism is needed, there has to be ready and willing helping hands for when things go wrong, or even when things just need a little assistance to spread their wings and fly.
Believe me, I would love to salvage my relationship with my father but my focus right now is on this great nation. It's Rehibilitation is what I strive to accomplish. It is what we need, and I am confident that I can deliver us from this darkness.
My Name is Atticus Blaire... And I approve this message.
Just who is Atticus Blaire?
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