Hijack the mic (DJ Diesel intro)

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DJ Diesel

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#1  Edited By DJ Diesel

The stairs creaked on the way to his apartment, every last one of them complaining in turn to the tremendous weight placed upon them. The only man awake that late in the dirty apartment complex couldn't hear the stairs, over the music in his earbuds; another mashup from Korn and Chamillionaire. The beats send all the usual waves of energy flowing through his body, but the superhuman strength he felt, wasn't doing anything to improve his mood tonight. The last stair behind him, he maneuvered subconsciously down the cramped hallway, walking slightly sideways to fit his shoulders down the narrow corridor. Missing carpet, dirty children’s toys, and beer cans gave no pause to diesel's massive boot-shoe hybrids. They were custom made for him by Lugz back when he was a star... They've almost come apart by now, never meant for the wear and tear of running at superhuman speeds, kicking over cars, or landing from the roof of a 10 story building. It was a miracle there was even any shoe left. Closing the door behind him, Deacon Jefferson Diesel, didn't even notice he broke his own doorknob off, leaving the door cracked slightly behind him, and the crumpled knob, rolling pathetically on the floor. Soon after, the knob was joined on the floor by a heavy, bulging duffel bag, containing DJ Diesel's indestructible tools of the trade.

"Yooooouuuuuu...." The Soldja Boy ringtone was the only noise that brought the big man out of his trance. As he pulled the small phone from his pocket, and flipped it open one handed, Diesel threw himself backwards down on his couch, which promptly punched all 4 legs through the cheap wooden floor. Ignoring the fact that he was sprawled on a couch now at floor level, he popped out his ear buds and answered his phone. "Deezy..." In days past now, his Soldja Boy ringtone might have heralded a call from the actual Soldja boy or any number of celebrities, but these days only one person ever called him.

"What up pimpin! It's your boy, Jazhar, hey tell me how everything went with the big job for Kingpin! You a bajillionaire now? We gonna get back to the house parties with b!tches in the house, the pool, the driveway, in all the cars, the hot-tub, and every room you can fit some b!tches?!" Diesel could feel a headache coming on... "Naw Jazz... I'm done with all that bullsh!t. I'm done with that fat tub of crap, Kingpin. I'm done with spiderman, and all this small time sh!t."

There was silence on the other end as Jazz's dream shattered into pieces and fell around his feet. "What happened big dog? You've mashed on Spiderman like 5 times, he can't take you right?" Knowing there was no point in getting worked up again, Diesel answered as slowly and calmly as he could. "No he can't take me, I'm out of his league now man, but does that skinny little b!tch fight me? Hell no, he shows up to the last big operation with the Fantastic mother f#ckin Four. I ended up getting beat up, sunburned, thrown off a skyscraper, that old man was stretching all over me like he's got no concept of heterosexual contact. I don't know what part of his costume was his crotch but it was ALL touching me man... that's F#CKED UP!" 

Once in a long while, Jazz has an intelligent idea. "You know what... that's the way right there baby! If they ain't got to play fair then why the h3ll are you?! Get you a posse man, part up in one of those super villain gangs and get up into the league you wanan be in. I know you man, you always talkin about how your too big and bad for the class of heroes you end up fighting, but you didn't do so good against Thor and such... BY YOURSELF!!! Stop flying solo and get some wingmen fool!" Standing up, a look of grim determination washed ove Diesel's face. "That's some d#mn science you spittin Jazz. I don't know how I'ma find em, but I'ma get me a team and blow up in the big leagues."

Closing the phone and gathering up his duffel bag, DJ Diesel stomped out into the hall for the last time. He would never return to that apartment, determined that the next place he slept would be either a super villain team hideout... or prison.

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The_Ghostshell

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#2  Edited By The_Ghostshell
TruePwnge said:
"Nobody gives a sh't about your worthless threads troll"
This is your one and only warning. There's no need for this type of childish behavior.
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Nightwolf3

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#3  Edited By Nightwolf3
TruePwnge said:
"Nobody gives a sh't about your worthless threads troll"

chill with that bro, theres no need for it
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TruePwnge

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#4  Edited By TruePwnge

Gambler said:

"There's no need for this type of childish behavior. "
He insulted my dead mother,
his spelling and grammar is complete nonsense
and he repeatedly tried to derail my threads and repeatedly makes jokes about rape, tentacle rape...which is just weird. So far he's broke about 6 or 7 forum rules

So yes I agree there is no need for this trollish behavior

PLEASE EXCUSE MY FRENCH GAMBLER
but needless to say I am f*%ing furious with this troll.