#1 Posted by I_Said_Kneel_Btch (4 posts) - - Show Bio

Many many years ago, when all was right in the world and children high-fived each other in the streets, a being sat in his car and watched them, watched the world, watched it's gleeful patrons as they fed on the luscious gifts the universe had to offer. Indeed, it was a good time, the war had been won, Germany had crumbled under the Russians' relentless mannerisms, the US had recovered from the tragic affairs of December 7th, and it seemed as if the world was going about ready to go disco-in'. Alas, it was not to be, as the figure in the car was none other than I Said Kneel Btch, a cruel man born from the womb of a cruel woman born from the womb of a crueller woman born from a vial. He was imbued with supernatural abilities that allowed him to create physical objects, each a maniacal, malevolent twist to it.

Queue's. Lines of restless people. Packed restaurants. Airports. Even traffic pile-ups. A creation of his evil soul.

BLACK JELLY BEANS.

Indeed, he was the true creator of the evil morsels. Formed from the very pits of his carnivorous consciousness, they were sure to plague the earth for years to come.

Splinters. Yes, this heartless being created splinters so that man may suffer whilst partaking in recreational woodwork activities. Vile.

--

He revved the engine and ran over the children, then stuck his hand out of the window and waved at their corpses.

Indeed.

#2 Posted by _Cain_ (23603 posts) - - Show Bio

LMFAO!!!! SO FCKING HARD! I CAN'T BREATH!

#3 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

iPhone batteries? Phones with touchscreens/tiny keyboards? Runescape? World of Warcraft?

You overlooked so many things.

#4 Posted by I_Said_Kneel_Btch (4 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman: I am also known as the Overlooker, indeed.

#5 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio

two word ,justin bieber

#6 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: No single being is that evil.

#7 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman: so they say, but who knows

#8 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: No, even Nexatos isn't that evil (Nexatos mutated Adam's kidneys into silver and his junk into adamantium).

#9 Posted by TrollHunter (148 posts) - - Show Bio

aye dat bieber do be an ugly looken girl iffen i says so me self, which i do be doing, so i do

#10 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman: maybe taht wa a ploy to distract from his truely evil dead of creating Bieber

#11 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: NO! No one is that evil!

#12 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman: sounds like a challenge to me

#13 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor:

#14 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio
@The_Roman I understand and could quite easily break it
#15 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: You wanna rumble? Should be fun, never killed a prince in person before. Always used to send an army to do it for me.

#16 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio
@The_Roman One day man I have shiz to do right now. Buy when I am free I will crush
#17 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: Any day, princess of power.

#18 Posted by _Zombie_ (10312 posts) - - Show Bio

BAHAHAHAHAHA. XD

#19 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio
@The_Roman I will let you life in ignorance a little longer before I fire your teeth through the rest if your skull
#20 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: Try it, you little woman. I will bury you.

#21 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio
@The_Roman You would be lucky to hear your death coming if I decided to attack you all out.

Don't worry though I will return the shattered and bloody remnants of who you used to be to your family so they can have a closed casket funeral. I will attend and laugh at your weeping family
#22 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor:I will be respectful enough to bury you myself so no one has to go through the traumatic experience of seeing what little body I might leave.

#23 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio
@EdwardWindsor Yeah, and then you wake up. I wonder what lobotomising a man at twice the speed of sound looks like
#24 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: @The_Roman:

Ladies you're both beautiful to me!

#25 Posted by EdwardWindsor (14400 posts) - - Show Bio
@Tellumo We are just playing,

Ps i know I am beautiful
#26 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@EdwardWindsor: I'll tell you when you are a victim of such an attack.

@Tellumo: Boy, you want to taste Death as well?

#27 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman:

I am curious, is it sweet or savoury..? Or sour?

#28 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@Tellumo: Cold. Cold and tasteless, or so they say..

#29 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman:

Just like my ex-wife *raises hand for high-five*

...

*Cold stares*

#30 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@Tellumo: *Crickets*. You...don't have an ex-wife, do you?

#31 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman:

No, at least I don't think so...

#32 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@Tellumo: See, the joke would have worked if I'd said it.

#33 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

@The_Roman:

Women, am I right?

(That's a thing a real man says isn't it?)

#34 Posted by Mercy_ (92444 posts) - - Show Bio

LOL this thread

Moderator
#35 Posted by _Zombie_ (10312 posts) - - Show Bio

What's even going on in here? o_o

#36 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

@ZombieBigfoot:

Close the door! I don't want the kids to see this!

#37 Posted by _Zombie_ (10312 posts) - - Show Bio

@Tellumo: Oh, the kids are gonna see everything. EVERYTHING.

#38 Posted by The_Roman (3297 posts) - - Show Bio

@Tellumo said:

@The_Roman:

Women, am I right?

(That's a thing a real man says isn't it?)

You are right.

(yes, it is. I say it every day. Because I have that many women who make me irate.)

(And before you make a joke, irate means angry.)