Many many years ago, when all was right in the world and children high-fived each other in the streets, a being sat in his car and watched them, watched the world, watched it's gleeful patrons as they fed on the luscious gifts the universe had to offer. Indeed, it was a good time, the war had been won, Germany had crumbled under the Russians' relentless mannerisms, the US had recovered from the tragic affairs of December 7th, and it seemed as if the world was going about ready to go disco-in'. Alas, it was not to be, as the figure in the car was none other than I Said Kneel Btch, a cruel man born from the womb of a cruel woman born from the womb of a crueller woman born from a vial. He was imbued with supernatural abilities that allowed him to create physical objects, each a maniacal, malevolent twist to it.
Queue's. Lines of restless people. Packed restaurants. Airports. Even traffic pile-ups. A creation of his evil soul.
BLACK JELLY BEANS.
Indeed, he was the true creator of the evil morsels. Formed from the very pits of his carnivorous consciousness, they were sure to plague the earth for years to come.
Splinters. Yes, this heartless being created splinters so that man may suffer whilst partaking in recreational woodwork activities. Vile.
He revved the engine and ran over the children, then stuck his hand out of the window and waved at their corpses.