#1 Posted by Tellumo (511 posts) - - Show Bio

"There's no time to explain jump into the wall!"


In that instance the young punk dove directly into the black ink that had pasted itself over the thick concrete wall. His legs pulled the sheet inwards with him. Outwards inside the hole is a white canvas, Morgan Freeman stands alone wearing an all white suit, not a single crease or fold out of place, glorious.


Alphonse reaches for a hug. It's clean! He connects & gets three points. Slowly M-Dog pats him while pushing.

"I am not god, you've seen 'Contact' so you know about that lazy b-s where they get someone from your memory to impersonate an alien. This isn't this. I am Morgan Freeman, here's a little secret, Alphonse. Walk with me. You ever wonder how I manage to be so well loved by everyone in the world? Course you do. I make racists blow up like robots who hear a paradox. Well really I'm from an alternate universe. I've had enough of being here so I need a little help going home."

By now the pair had wandered into an execution room with an electric chair. The room smelled of pizza boxes, y'know that spicy meat sick smell, that smell. Morgan strapped into the chair & gestured towards the lever.

"Pull the lever, son. Send me home."

Alphonse was in tears as he lowered his hand pulling down death incarnated in the form of a rubber stick. Mr.Freeman burst into confetti. The entire world is covered by the confetti, or at least your vision of it, the world shifts into a land of sweets & other childish things. Alphonse clearly confused, wanders to find Pokemon running wild, giant rabbits hopping along leaving trails of kinder eggs. He collapses to the ground on his hands & knees.

"No, oh dear lord no. Where have you taken meeee?!"

A hand grabs him by the t-shirt & pulls him through the rainbow floor. Held up by a strong arm, a machete sweeps down on him, removing most of his torso from his lower torso. Despite the obvious problem regarding his physiology a 'witty joke' was spat out.

"Drama, childrens & a horror, am I going into the anime dimension next?"

As the generic horror villain walked away, possibly on the hunt for scantily clad teens, Alphonse mustered the act of pulling himself together & burning both of his sections back together with a flame that emit from his finger tip. Pointing towards the receding figure flames burst further forward. The cliche dropped.

"Oh god now I remember."

With that he burst into the roof to emerge from the brain of a child. In his hand was a cartoon bunny rabbit.

"There's your problem. This horrible thing was in charge of your kid's head. He was possessed."

A scared couple shuddered in the corner of the room as Alphonse scrunched up a ball of paper which he then left on the body of the sleeping child, he promptly left.

'Your *insert rube here* has been exorcised by Alphonse Brody, demon hunter extraordinare. You owe me £1000.'

{By now you probably have thrown up several times, I'm deeply sorry. To get in the right mind set watch this first.}

#2 Posted by Urban_Ronin (9935 posts) - - Show Bio

LOL I liked the pop culture references to Contact and Bruce Almighty lol