#1 Posted by Tellumo (525 posts) - - Show Bio


Rampant destruction is clear to see in downtown Orleans. Not because of nature's fury nor violence of man but that of a dark, dark force. One that craves anarchy as it's high pitched slightly hoarse laughter fills the hastily abandoned streets. This dark being is a clown, a musical clown.

Champion City (Prior to the sinking)

"What do you mean just me?! And what does a clown have to do with it?!"

Tellumo was outraged at his superior, Edward. He was called into a meeting expecting something along the lines of 'You're getting promoted!' or 'I'm gonna need you to hand in you're badge & gun. You're too much of a loose cannon.' but what he was told was far from expected. Edward sighed as a projection of a revealingly dressed clown appeared on top of his desk.

"This unknown meta-human has taken a section of New Orleans as his own & somehow allowed all but a small group of people to enter from some sort of force field, we don't know how to break through or who's allowed in but so far it's lost people homes who would normally live inside & has the populace in a panic. You need to go inside the dome, apprehend the clown, free any prisoners & restore order to the area, you got that?"

Taking note of everything said to him Tellumo had two simple questions.

"Why just me & why can't anyone else handle it?"

Almost as if he'd expected this question he smirked with the response.

"A clown for a clown."

Tellumo squinted.

"... You're despicable."

Some time later, New Orleans

Landing on a cracked road that stared onwards into the luminescent, neon dome, Alphonse was overcome by a mixture of feelings, mainly dread, curiosity & hunger. Staking out on the side of the path he watched as numerous groups went in, finally after the sixth group passed he realised the common denominator, they were all dressed as clowns. Pulling one of the members of the next group behind a fence in front of one of the abandoned houses he performed 'the switcheroony' & took his clothes. This took longer than expected as, in his words, 'he was freeballin' & I didn't wanna see or touch his junk!'.

Breaking through the barrier at long last, Tellumo clung to one of the groups as they guided him to a stage in the shape of a clown face, at this point the clown aesthetic was growing weary. Bursting onto stage was the man he'd came to this hell hole for. A laser & firework show ensued as he grabbed a microphone while a matching trio came onstage to form a band of quartet clowns.

"HEYYY KIDDIES! It's your old pal Rockso and we're going to p-p-p-party like c-c-c-mad!"

What followed was an hour of glamour rock with short intermissions which would begin with this cult leader stating 'Hold on b-b-b-babies, Rockso's losing his buzz.'. His high pitched voice was killing the ears of the non-corrupted Tellumo who could stand little more. Coming back on stage to cheers Rocks eagerly announced.

"Y'know I was gonna stop hear but you crazy kids are getting me so p-p-p-pumped we're gonna keep this going a whole 'nother ow-ow-hour!"

Something then burst inside Tellumo's head.


He marched up to the stage, ripping off his clown costume to reveal his original attire, shouting to the stand as he does so.

"No more of this crap! You've played two decent songs & one of those was a cover! Stop mindf***ing these people into thinking you're good!"

Rockso's shocked face slowly develops into a sinister grin aimed intently at the single non-clown.

"Hey kiddies this f***er just made a big mistake.

♪ Look who's causin' trouble,

Stomp him on the double.

Kill him kiddies fo' yo' dad,

That would be f***ing raaaad.♪"

At the end of that musical interlude the mob began to lurch forward in a zombie like state, it was clear by looking into their pure white eyes that these people weren't in control, their leader promptly left to go back stage. Immediately swinging to action Tellumo released a torrent of air to repel the horde who slowly began to move in again. Raising the ground below them to loosely coat them a prison formed around the crowd which would contain them until they eventually dug their way out, he wouldn't be around for this though as Alphonse head backstage. After dispatching the larger henchmen and quipping.

"Which other superheroes have to fight mind controlled clowns?!"

He found the clown bent over a table who then rose shouting

"I do c-c-c-c******!"

This echoed around Tellumo's mind, 'I do c-c-c-c******! I do c-c-c-c******! I do c-c-c-c******!'. Finally revelation as he blurted out.

"You're Dr.Rockso you're from a cartoon!"

The sound of slow clapping came from behind a curtain as a ginger, pudgy teen stepped out.

"Finally you get it, you idiot! I thoughtsh they'd shend you, Tellumo!"

Alphonse pulled his finger out of his nose upon hearing his name, shocked that someone remembered who he was, his first reaction was to blurt out.

"Holy crap! You know who I am?!"

Visibly frustrated the teenager cried.

"Of coursh I do I'm your nemesish 'The Controller'! When I'm done with you I'll take out the resht of the COPsh then the other heroes & finally the world *cackling followed by coughing & wheezing*!"

Uninterested Tellumo air blasted him to the floor, feeling guilty that he's have to fight someone who looked this... pathetic. Rockso walked up to his fallen master to give him a hand up which was slapped away, Controller shouted in his slurred voice.

"Don't helpsh me, fight himsh, you dork!"

"Okay baby, no need to shout at your old pal Rockso, but I forgives ya!"

Grabbing a microphone of his dressing table he began singing.

♪Hey kid you're driving me insane,

so Rockso's gonna give you some pain,

It'll hurt so bad it's gonna warp your little brain.♪

Immediately a severe pain gripped Tellumo's head, Rockso was channelling his music into reality but Alphonse was in too much pain to focus, he fell to the floor reeling. Minutes passed as the clown kept singing each verse causing unfathomable pain, finally he saw his way out on the dressing table, he weakly spoke.

"Rockso you forgot the rest of your c******."

Rockso stopped singing and began twitching as he ran back over to the table to resume his 'business'. Rising back up Tellumo quickly knocked Rockso unconscious with a clown shoe and quipped.

"You're Dr.Rockso and you do co-pain."

Marching over to the controller who still remained on the floor, tired from trying to get up, he shook him seismically demanding answers.

"How do I stop the dome & turn people back to normal?! How do I put Rockso back into the television?! How do I get my dog to stop s****ing in the house?! What's the eleven secret herbs & spices?!"

Now actually crying the teen screamed.

"Rockso has to sing it! I don't know how to put him back I can only get everyone out! You need to be strict with it! This section has been seized by the KFC corporation. Please just don't put me in prison I don't wanna lose my virginity like that!"

Tellumo sighed & sent a message to Eddie to bring a police vehicle for the two.

Later, outside the now normal ' N'Orleans '

Tellumo met with Edward as they carried Rockso & The Controller into a police van.

"Good Job, Alphonse. How'd you get the dome down anyway?"

Before he could answer Rockso shouted out to Eddie.

"He bribed me with some coca-cola! If y'know what I mean. HA HA HA HAAAA!"

Looking disgruntled all Alphonse could say was.

"I f***ing hate clowns."

(For those who found this offensive, sorry. For those who didn't *High-Five*. For those who're wondering what they just read, I'm sorry again.)