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#1 Edited by SOG7dc (7194 posts) - - Show Bio

I made thechoice to wait until im married for sex but amongst my classmates and coworkers that are close to my age it is looked upon very negatively. Why is this?

#2 Posted by Wolverine08 (42262 posts) - - Show Bio

It really isn't looked down upon. Maybe your just in an idiosyncratic situation.

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#3 Edited by Gambit474 (1468 posts) - - Show Bio

"sex makes dads,not men" Because guys think it proves some kind of macho thing about themselves if they've got it on with a girl. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin..Heck half the teen pregnancies wouldn't happen if parents or whoever would teach these kids abstinence. Really though if people you know think that way then they're most likely immature or stereotypical

#4 Posted by cameron83 (7304 posts) - - Show Bio

@sog7dc said:

I made thechoice to wait until im married for sex but amongst my classmates and coworkers that are close to my age it is looked upon very negatively. Why is this?

They seem a bit...immature.

I mean,it's just sex. It's not like you become champion of earth or you discover your purpose in life or anything like that. Just coitus....

For people to make a big deal out of it just seems a bit childish.....

However,I can't exactly pass judgement..What is their reaction like?

#5 Posted by SOG7dc (7194 posts) - - Show Bio

@cameron83:

they just seemed completely floored. like they poked fun made jokes and told me I "need to see what its like" they responded as if I told them I couldn't read or something

#6 Edited by Xwraith (18204 posts) - - Show Bio

Because a "real man" is supposed to start banging girls as early as possible (note that I don't agree with this.)

Am I allowed to use the word "bang" in that context on Comic Vine?

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#7 Posted by Wolverine08 (42262 posts) - - Show Bio

Sex and being a virgin is overrated. End of story.

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#8 Edited by cameron83 (7304 posts) - - Show Bio

@sog7dc said:

@cameron83:

they just seemed completely floored. like they poked fun made jokes and told me I "need to see what its like" they responded as if I told them I couldn't read or something

Yeah..completely immature. They think that it's some sort of manly thing,when it's not necessarily by any means. As said above,it can only make you a father,not a man.

#9 Posted by The Stegman (24392 posts) - - Show Bio

It's one of those weird double standards that exist. If a man is a virgin, he's not a "real man" but rather a wuss, if a girl is a virgin, she's pure and innocent. It goes both ways though, since a ''real man'' is suppose to have a lot of sex, when he does, he's a playa, when a girl does it, she's a "slut". It's just gender roles keeping our society trapped in a box.

#10 Edited by jointron33 (1902 posts) - - Show Bio

If a man has sex with a woman that he wouldn't want to be the mother of his child, he's a bum.

If a woman has sex with a man that she wouldn't want to be the father of her child, she's a ho.

If someone TRULY loves you, they will respect you and save that until you are wed. And you should not get a divorce on the grounds that your wife ain't freaky enough in bed or your husband's dong ain't long enough. If you do, you're a lousy whore and dog who DESERVE to be alone. May they rest in hell.

#11 Posted by HumanRocket (8162 posts) - - Show Bio

Nah man it shouldn't. I'm 23 still a virgin not ashamed of it noting to be ashamed to be about. I have too many responsibilities right now trying to get my parents into a better situation girls are in my mind but their not my #1 priority. I live in LA and I've seen way too many times my friends get pregnant and all their future plans get tossed aside to focus on the kid. I don't want to be on that side. Waiting for marriage where I can afford to have a kid. That's my thing to share.

#12 Edited by frogdog (3248 posts) - - Show Bio

It depends on the maturity of the people your around with.

#13 Posted by cameron83 (7304 posts) - - Show Bio

Nah man it shouldn't. I'm 23 still a virgin not ashamed of it noting to be ashamed to be about. I have too many responsibilities right now trying to get my parents into a better situation girls are in my mind but their not my #1 priority. I live in LA and I've seen way too many times my friends get pregnant and all their future plans get tossed aside to focus on the kid. I don't want to be on that side. Waiting for marriage where I can afford to have a kid. That's my thing to share.

Very wise of you....

#14 Posted by CheeseSticks (2476 posts) - - Show Bio

Because sex is awesome

#15 Posted by jointron33 (1902 posts) - - Show Bio

@cheesesticks: Only if between husband and wife. Otherwise it is empty

#16 Posted by MysteriousUsername (1210 posts) - - Show Bio

It's one of those weird double standards that exist. If a man is a virgin, he's not a "real man" but rather a wuss, if a girl is a virgin, she's pure and innocent. It goes both ways though, since a ''real man'' is suppose to have a lot of sex, when he does, he's a playa, when a girl does it, she's a "slut". It's just gender roles keeping our society trapped in a box.

Yeah, I'd say it's one of the worst double standards around.

#17 Edited by laflux (15957 posts) - - Show Bio

@the_stegman: Dunno whether its me, but I prefer women who are not virgins....

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#18 Edited by CheeseSticks (2476 posts) - - Show Bio

@cheesesticks: Only if between husband and wife. Otherwise it is empty

Who care if it's empty ? You don't love having sex just for fun ?

#19 Edited by jointron33 (1902 posts) - - Show Bio
#20 Posted by The Stegman (24392 posts) - - Show Bio

@laflux said:

@the_stegman: Dunno whether its me, but I prefer women who are not virgins....

I've only had sex with one woman...and she wasn't a virgin, so I can't speak on that preference >_<

#21 Edited by CheeseSticks (2476 posts) - - Show Bio

@jointron33 said:

@cheesesticks: I've never had it. I'm not married

That's why you're saying that. Go bang a women and tell me you didn't love it because it was empty. Also, you need to know that the more you wait, the more your futur girlfriend will sleep with other guys. You need some experience, because she will probably have some.

@laflux: I agree, because they know what they're doing... If you know what i mean

#22 Posted by Hypnosis (343 posts) - - Show Bio

@jointron33: Empty sex is great, but obviously sex between two people who love each other regardless of whether they're married or not is better.

#23 Posted by pooty (11156 posts) - - Show Bio

@humanrocket: @sog7dc: There is nothing wrong with staying a virgin until marriage. I have to ask: I know people think of unwanted pregnancies and disease but with a little planning that can usually be avoided. What are the benefits of waiting?

#24 Posted by Akindoodle (1021 posts) - - Show Bio

@pooty: Your really old school Nigerian grandma doesn't beat the shit out of you? Hypothetically speaking of course

#25 Posted by pooty (11156 posts) - - Show Bio

@pooty: Your really old school Nigerian grandma doesn't beat the shit out of you? Hypothetically speaking of course

Did you send this reply to me by mistake? If not, what does it mean?

#26 Posted by HumanRocket (8162 posts) - - Show Bio

@pooty: well the main things I can tell u is that I remember during my prom nigh one of my friends confessed that he was rapped by his babysitter and that he feels guilty about being with his gf becuz she beloved that he was still a virgin. He felt bad about it. First time ever that I really saw a guy admiting that he felt bad for not being a Virgin with most typical guys in high school talkin about which girls they had slept with. like I said in the previous comment I live in LA alot of teens in high school drop out because of pregnancy and I did some mentoring when I had to volunteer for a college course and when high school teenagers would ask about my personal life I didn't lie and told him the truth including me still being a virgin so that maybe they could see that having sex just to be one in the crowd or to impress others is something you should be throwing your virginity away.

#27 Edited by jointron33 (1902 posts) - - Show Bio

@cheesesticks: If she's that much of an immature whore to where she just gotta have something goin up in her, I wouldn't date her trampish ass

#28 Posted by CheeseSticks (2476 posts) - - Show Bio

@cheesesticks: If she's that much of an immature whore to where she just gotta have something goin up in her, I wouldn't date her trampish ass

Dude a women who sleep with men isn't a whore. If you are willing to be with virgin girls only... You'll search for a very long time. You're talking like someone who's never had sex and you're acting like it's bad. Taste it too judge it men.

#29 Edited by Xanni15 (6758 posts) - - Show Bio

@pooty said:

@akindoodle said:

@pooty: Your really old school Nigerian grandma doesn't beat the shit out of you? Hypothetically speaking of course

Did you send this reply to me by mistake? If not, what does it mean?

I think it's pretty self explanatory, pooty. lol Answer the man's question!

#30 Edited by Akindoodle (1021 posts) - - Show Bio

@pooty: One of the benefits of waiting of course. Well, at least where I come from. It was meant to be a joke. Also, there's a big religious thing with sex. I know conservative muslims and christians aren't supposed to have it until they're married but the point is I was trying to be funny. Obviously it didn't quite work

@xanni15: Hey, at least you got the joke

#31 Edited by danhimself (22547 posts) - - Show Bio

I can kind of understand the thought of wanting to wait but sex is fun...waiting does nothing

#32 Edited by HBKTimHBK (5242 posts) - - Show Bio

The people who frown upon it should mind their own business.

#33 Posted by ARMIV2 (8527 posts) - - Show Bio

Because some people like to project their own insecurities onto others.

#34 Edited by God_Spawn (37889 posts) - - Show Bio

Because you're in a sex soaked media ridden society full of standards that don't even make sense. Guys have a friend that bangs a girl just for the hell of it and he does this every night and he becomes a champion to his friends. A girl does it and she becomes a whore, a prostitute. Yet a girl doesn't have sex and she gets called uppity and needs to loosen up, yet you're a guy in your 20's and still a virgin, you're nothing but a loser. Someone doomed to be lonely forever. Weak. You see, society likes to dictate certain things and people blindly follow it like sheep without even realizing it. Yet once you see past the veil and unlock the puzzle of your mind, you see it really doesn't matter. You're just choosing to save yourself and based off of some religions that is what it says to do. So why let someone else dictate your life and your decisions, especially something like sex because things could wrong in many ways and you could wind up with an STD, just lying there crying or in an that awkward silence feeling sorry for yourself, or you could get her pregnant when neither of you are ready are ready for a kid and it isn't your decision to get an abortion and it isn't something you would really want to force. It comes down to society's rules. And while different standards have been set over the course of centuries, they always kind of revolve back around to the similar idea. But at the end of the day it is all a big bunch of opinions based of what a bigger portrayal says so and it's just a bunch of people mindlessly following it. So really it doesn't matter what they say. It's a decision with life altering possibilities, but it sure as hell is fun if you know how to do it right. If you want to save yourself for marriage, that is your decision. If you believe it to be sacred and you want to give it to someone who you vow to be with forever, it's all on you. Just like it is all on all of those other people that just have sex to have sex. It's fun and can be absolutely crazy sometimes. It is also a great stress reliever, and it is also a very basic programming with in our minds to procreate.

TL;DR: It just comes down to what you want to do with your life, they aren't in charge, but they are stupid and need to wake up.

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#35 Posted by joshmightbe (24885 posts) - - Show Bio

Well its not out side of high school, teenagers tend to think everything is a much bigger deal than it actually is.

#36 Posted by i_like_swords (14422 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm around plenty of immature people. It happens. Just take it on the chin and be the better man.

There's so many things people will poke fun at or make judgements on it's not even funny.

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#37 Edited by Mercy_ (92698 posts) - - Show Bio
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#38 Edited by Zauberin (4352 posts) - - Show Bio

I read a relevant article/blog not too long ago. I think I want to find it.

#39 Edited by No_Trolling (653 posts) - - Show Bio

@armiv2 said:

Because some people like to project their own insecurities onto others.

The correct answer

#40 Edited by Vance Astro (91234 posts) - - Show Bio

Because sex is too goddamn good for you to be waiting until marriage. If you are a christian and you're doing that as part of your religion, I understand. Otherwise..alot of dudes will assume you're a virgin because nobody wants to have sex with you...

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#41 Edited by Zauberin (4352 posts) - - Show Bio
#42 Edited by BR_Havoc (1295 posts) - - Show Bio

In all honesty, just wait for the right time or right women. I did not and my first time was horrible it was awkward and like 8 people walked in on us. So just wait kids!.

#43 Edited by Vance Astro (91234 posts) - - Show Bio

@no_trolling said:

@armiv2 said:

Because some people like to project their own insecurities onto others.

The correct answer

I don't agree with this. I agree that people like to project their own insecurities but I would say this is the correct answer. It may be one of many answers but probably not the most popular or frequent answer.

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#44 Posted by Glitch_Spawn (17132 posts) - - Show Bio

It's because it's a Christian thing and nothing else. Go have sex right now. There's nothing special about it. However, It releases you from the grip and pain of life for the few moments that on orgasm lasts and that's something.

Don't fall in love with the person...just have some angry sex.

#45 Posted by Bruxae (13871 posts) - - Show Bio

Ive not really experienced it being looked upon as negative rather its just the person in question who is having insecurities about it or hanging around the wrong type of people.

#46 Posted by GraniteSoldier (7805 posts) - - Show Bio

I've only had sex with a few women, but all were "serious" (at the time) relationships that had a future. I've never had a one night stand or "hooked up". Not my thing, and it doesn't make you better or worse for doing it or not doing it. Sex is a natural animal instinct and action, it's really not that special. It's just sex.

If people think you are "less masculine" than them for not sleeping around, then they are either emotionally or intellectually under developed. It's your life, your body. Your choice.

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#47 Posted by joshmightbe (24885 posts) - - Show Bio

Everyone I know in real life that's around my age don't give a damn about anyone's virginity except their daughter's. Really once you're in your 30s unless you're some kind of religious or political zealot other people's sex lives really won't matter to you. Yea if someone's talking about a celebrity or you over hear something really freaky about someone you know you might pay attention but odds are you won't really care.

#48 Posted by MonsterStomp (17955 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm a virgin. Who gives two sh*ts? Rather be safe then sorry. Do it with someone I actually like and not some random I met at the club. B*tch could have aids...

That's what I tell myself whenever this subject comes to mind.

You're welcome..

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#49 Posted by MonsterStomp (17955 posts) - - Show Bio

I've only had sex with a few women, but all were "serious" (at the time) relationships that had a future.

This statement just contradicted itself by the way.

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#50 Posted by FadeToBlackBolt (23334 posts) - - Show Bio

Haven't any of you read X-Men?

"People hate and fear what they don't understand"