Why can't I get a girl to go out with me?

I'm batting zero for the past decade.

Well, are you going for girls that are out of your league? What kind of approach do you take when you talk to girls? Could we get some more details?

Go online and look for girls that are in your league. I'm guaranteeing you that you're overlooking some special girl.

I don't know what my league is. I am direct - mostly I ask point blank. Any help is much appreciated. If it helps, that is me in my profile pic.

All I had to do was be a nice guy. I did that and threw in a couple sarcastic remarks every now and then, and I now have multiple girls interested in me. I wouldn't be too direct. I'd hint at it, and see there reaction. If it's positive, keep it going, if it's negative, then I guess you're just friends. That's all I've got so far, but I'll probably think of some other shit later.

Thanks, man. Subtlety is not my forte.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Thanks, man. Subtlety is not my forte.

No problem. It wasn't mine either, but I worked on it, and it bore positive results.

Try the less straight forward approach, be subtle, crack a few jokes, relationships that bloom from friendship form the mighty oak of bliss.

Can we get some women's advisement here?

@BumpyBoo

@Joygirl

@lykopis

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Thanks, man. Subtlety is not my forte.

That may be your problem. If they smell desperate on you, it's over. To start, the important thing is find someone that likes to do the same things you do. It can be something as simple as watching a movie or playing magic cards.

Because modern girls are self righteous and super models (bad thing IMO).

Here, let Joe Pesci describe them in cleaner terminology than I can allow myself to.

Crap. Not many girls play heroclix.

I tell girls Rodney Dangerfield is a close, personal friend. Instant impregnation.

Personality, confidence and humor tend to fruit the best results with a bit of mystique and as BAFTW summed up nicely is be subtle.

Direct to the point is good sometimes. But I've always experienced better by doing it sparingly. Just never go this far.

Don't be too direct. You look tall in your pic and that can intimidate some women. Be friendly and aloof, make them want you.

First of all, how old are you? May seem irrelevant, but it's not.

Lol, I'm short. 5'7". Tara is just shorter. And I'm 28 .

I don't have a large presence in the dating scene. But, from what I've seen -- a big issue is being confident, but not letting that confidence turn into bravado. The only girls that are into macho braggarts are the ones you don't want. Be strong, gentle, funny, charming.

Everything I say is a reference or a quote from somewhere. My sense of humor is not my strong point.

Seriously though okcupid is free and it's an easy way to meet singles.

I've tried the online dating scene and they're robots seeking my credit card info. And they stiffed me with hidden fees.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Crap. Not many girls play heroclix.

Ha ha. Yeah, maybe go with something a little more mainstream - like ultimate frisbee or watching a favorite sitcom together. In my limited experience, girls don't care about your nerdy hobbies, just so long as you share enough in common to have fun together. I know this might sound strange, but getting a regular workout routine is also good. It'll make you feel better about yourself and give you more confidence when talking to people. Doesn't have to be anything hardcore. For me, I'd just go jogging 2-3 miles each day.

Just be normal an relax , make sure you are a great talker an pay attention to when they are talking back at you.Just make sure both parties are comfortable an you will be ok

How much do you get out? A lot of it is trying to find ways to meet people. And then from there just try your best to be yourself, albeit a more social version of yourself I suppose. Eventually someone will like you for you.

Batting zero for the past decade isn't the best. Just who are these women you are approaching? Are they women you find physically attractive or are they women you have gotten to know on some level and would like to know more of?

Both.

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Both.

Okay, so in that case you must have something in common. Assuming its from work or school -- casually mentioning a shared lunch break together could be a good start. Ask her questions and listen, offer some information about yourself but just quick little facts --- focus more on her because that is flattering. If there seems to be a connection, you could then suggest a dinner or show? You are the one who can make that call -- either way, you still get to make a friend and that's called networking. Believe me, girls are notorious for setting up their friends with guy friends so it doesn't hurt to hang on to the friend zone if that's where you've been thrown in.

But -- please take this the right way, maybe you are hitting on the wrong kind of woman for you? Did you ever think of perhaps asking out women who are opposite of who you normally seek out? View it as an experiment -- just to see how things turn out. You can take the information to help you figure out why you haven't been able to make a connection with a special someone, try to deduce a pattern. Its easier to tackle if there are somethings you can tackle on in a concrete way.

Either way -- friendships are a good thing. Aim for that first and hopefully something comes out of it.

Perhaps you're getting tips on how to pickup girls from Borat? If you are... STOP!!!! Not of it works. Trust me.

I can tell you this with certainty, there is no league.

Anyone saying differently are fooling themself.. Just be confident, dont try to act tougher then you are but dont be afraid of saying what you want, let them know you are intrested in getting to know them but it doesnt necessarily have to become more then friends, its very important that you believe you can get a girl to actually do it.. Just dont act like a douchbag because you can.

Youll have to learn the difference betweeen making someone feel special without throwing yourself on them, ex. If you are in a group talking, focus on the person you are intrested in but dont follow her into the next room as soon as she leaves, that just screams creep.

Your job is to get her to choose to spend a day with you on her spare time, if you get that far she will take the initiative for the rest or strongly hint when she wants you too.

Most women can be shallow, the hard part is to get them to notice you over all the bodybuilders out there, but once they do - they switch over to being very unshallow, not alot of women cares about the looks when they really like a guy.

Also, if someone says no let them know you are dissapointed but are okay with remaining friends.. Sometimes people get scared but if you act cool about it there might be a chance for them to change their minds.

Go to the store, buy a gun, some condoms, lots of alcohol, and then head to Craigslist. I'll be praying for ya buddy :)

@KnightRise said:

Can we get some women's advisement here?

@BumpyBoo

@Joygirl

@lykopis

......
@RedQueen

*Nudges own name on list* :p

Best advice? Other than the much stated "be yourself"....

@Joygirl said:

I don't have a large presence in the dating scene. But, from what I've seen -- a big issue is being confident, but not letting that confidence turn into bravado. The only girls that are into macho braggarts are the ones you don't want. Be strong, gentle, funny, charming.

Most girls like guys who are simply charming and funny and aren't too direct- though don't go onto the other end of the spectrum and be way too subtle.There's certainly a delicate balance there. I get turned off immediately by guys trying to be "macho" - and find gentleness/caring far more attractive.

Most importantly; be friendly. You'll be surprised just how far your natural personality will get you. Personally, and this is just my opinion, I find guys who are into comics/video game/ movies (and are open about it) really attractive.

I guess what I'm trying to say is be yourself... even if that advice is painfully obvious.

@Reignmaker said:

@The_Last_Son_of_Czarnia said:

Crap. Not many girls play heroclix.

Ha ha. Yeah, maybe go with something a little more mainstream - like ultimate frisbee or watching a favorite sitcom together. In my limited experience, girls don't care about your nerdy hobbies, just so long as you share enough in common to have fun together. I know this might sound strange, but getting a regular workout routine is also good. It'll make you feel better about yourself and give you more confidence when talking to people. Doesn't have to be anything hardcore. For me, I'd just go jogging 2-3 miles each day.

This is good advice.

Guess its my turn to call out some ladies

@RazzaTazz

@Raiiyn

Your Wisdom is required =D

It had to be done.

@sesquipedalophobe said:

It had to be done.

This is brilliant. You know this may be my background for my profile, and I'm gonna follow you, then unfollow you, so I can follow you again =D.

Probably because you may be going after the women you have nothing in common with or are kinda b@# chy.

@laflux: Follow Pikahyper. He's the genius behind it with the photoshop skills. Source.

@sesquipedalophobe said:

@laflux: Follow Pikahyper. He's the genius behind it with the photoshop skills. Source.

Aye, but you made this piece of art known to me ;-P.

There is really no perfect advice as each person is different and will want different things out of a relationship.  You could go to a bar and pick up a new girl every night, but they are less likely to want to talk to about the books you read.  Whereas the girl that is going to be interested in your esoteric interests would probably never be at a bar and is likely also probably a little reserved.  The best thing I can offer is to just be out there and be nice.  If you talk to a girl and you like her shirt/scarf/anything-which is-not-a-body-part then tell her. If you think she might like Jane Austen or yoga then ask her about that.  If she doesn't then no harm done (plus she might take it as a compliment).  If you can think of something else to say after that all the better, but don't do it fishing for dates or telephone.  Just be out there and be active and friendly.  It will increase your confidence and also put other girls in a place where they can meet you.  

I can tell you this with certainty, there is no league.

Anyone saying differently are fooling themself.. 

okcupid sucks...all the free ones do, hell even ones you pay for don't guarantee anything. Trust me, sites like POF, okcupid etc most girls on these sites are UBER shallow and UBER picky... It's all about luck as far as I'm concerned, sure having "game" helps but god knows I've had my share of "girls liking me" only to waste my time overall.

The Last, I feel your pain dude, I hear dude lol, I always get the "you're a nice guy blah, blah, blah " bit get numbers, emails etc but usually in my case since most chicks in NYC where I am are shallow and not into geeky, movie goer or nice guys. I tend to attract chicks from west or down south but sadly that's far away.

I wish you the best of luck though.

@Vance Astro said:

@Bruxae said:

I can tell you this with certainty, there is no league.

Anyone saying differently are fooling themself..

There's definitely a league and I don't think anyone is fooling themselves to think so. Some women don't consider it, but I believe most do. Being confident isn't even half of what makes someone interested in you.

Hm, Ill have to agree to disagree on that one, I firmly believe in that anyone can get a date out of anyone if they know how to work their way around to it. (ofcourse there will be a small percent where you dont stand a chance, but nothing in life is 100%!)

However some might take more effort then others and if it works out is a different story.

How I got my girlfriend! True story btw.

Me: Wow you look amazing today!

Her: Uhh thanks?

Me:Wow I lost my phone will you call it?

Her: Sure number?

Me:*Tells her my number*

Her:Okay dialing

Me:Pulls phone out of pocket. Hello, Hi keep the number and text me sometime ;P (did the best charming smile I could do)

From there it went great :P She messaged me almost everyday and it was great! This all happened in Homeroom about 2 weeks ago if it matters.

@PlasticBag said:

How I got my girlfriend! True story btw.

Me: Wow you look amazing today!

Her: Uhh thanks?

Me:Wow I lost my phone will you call it?

Her: Sure number?

Me:*Tells her my number*

Her:Okay dialing

Me:Pulls phone out of pocket. Hello, Hi keep the number and text me sometime ;P (did the best charming smile I could do)

From there it went great :P She messaged me almost everyday and it was great! This all happened in Homeroom about 2 weeks ago if it matters.

lol ^ that's a new one. Slick, very slick. And you have depression issues? I'd think with game like that, you'd be happy lol.

Nobody else has mentioned this so I will. This is especially true for people into comics, anime, cartoons, video games, even reading or science, etc.

Don't talk about what interests you. I've found that more often than not, they aren't interested in hearing about it, and they get bored. This isn't always true, but most often it is. Instead try to make small talk and find out what they're interested in. Listen to them talk about it and make any smart points that you can about it. Eventually you'll find something that interests both of you, and you can make good conversation about that. After that it all depends on whether or not you guys like each other.

nothing that a bit of chloroform can't fix.

@Loki9876 said:

nothing that a bit of chloroform can't fix.

Best advice so far.

Anyways, it's cliche, but the best advice is to be yourself. A mature woman will appreciate that and eventually a particular woman will love you for it.