I usually say 1 of 3 things.
2) MY WIFE FARTED WOOH WOOH! (Think the song somebody farted)
3) My butt is asleep its snoring.
Of course these are all done at home when its only my wife is around. =)
I tend to walk away and fart in private and then return.
If my fart slipped out, I apologize if it made a sound or if it smells.
the "excuse you" from others annoys me. I find it rude, not gross, but rude for people to fart or berp in public. It is already rude so for someone to say "excuse you" to me, irritates me.
"Ahahahaha I totally just farted, don't go over there."
I always take the blame for my smaller farts, then when a huge one happens and I don't burst out and admit it people don't assume it's me, because I always take the blame!
Don't say anything and pretend like it didn't happen. Either, its with someone close enough to you that it doesn't matter if you fart, and therefore it doesn't need addressing.
Or, its with someone you're not close enough with, in which case they would probably feel too awkward to call you out on it - so no reason not to pretend like it didn't happen. If they do? Call them out on being awkward enough to call you out on it. Its a win-win.
Use your keyboard!
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