#1 Posted by Manchine (4157 posts) - - Show Bio

I usually say 1 of 3 things.

1) OOMPA!

2) MY WIFE FARTED WOOH WOOH! (Think the song somebody farted)

3) My butt is asleep its snoring.


Of course these are all done at home when its only my wife is around. =)

#2 Posted by AweSam (7373 posts) - - Show Bio

"Who did it?"

#3 Posted by VoodooPenguin (974 posts) - - Show Bio

...

#4 Posted by russellmania77 (14820 posts) - - Show Bio

"You smell that?"

#5 Edited by Manchine (4157 posts) - - Show Bio

I thought I would do something funny. =) I am not always serious.... heck ask my wife. =)

#6 Posted by VoodooPenguin (974 posts) - - Show Bio

@manchine: I am always serious. I never joke around or laugh. Smiling is a sign of weakness. My children eat nothing but celery, carrots, and unsalted nuts.

#7 Posted by NorrinBoltagonPrime21 (5710 posts) - - Show Bio

Toot Toot

#8 Posted by Referee (7148 posts) - - Show Bio

Testing a theory,

When asked what the Theory is

There is more room on the outside than in

#9 Posted by CuddleBear (1211 posts) - - Show Bio

thats the sound a tree makes when it falls and no one is around

#10 Posted by Xwraith (16690 posts) - - Show Bio

"Sorry."

#11 Posted by Deathstroke19 (3799 posts) - - Show Bio

"Hahahaha"

#12 Posted by joshmightbe (24874 posts) - - Show Bio

I point to the nearest person and tell them they're gross.

#13 Posted by The Stegman (23742 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't fart around others.

#14 Posted by mistresssobeautiful (787 posts) - - Show Bio

I act like a lady but- I say "Excuse me" or just try to play it off and ignore it

#15 Posted by AllStarSuperman (21301 posts) - - Show Bio

I be silent and hope somebody else gets blamed.

#16 Posted by ULTRAstarkiller (6092 posts) - - Show Bio

I start cracking up when someone smells it.

#17 Posted by Yokergeist (12355 posts) - - Show Bio

*Point to the guy next to me* He did it!

#18 Posted by TheAcidSkull (17749 posts) - - Show Bio

Open wide!

#19 Posted by tomlikesfries (4638 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh man, I love Step Brothers.

#20 Edited by Nefarious (19471 posts) - - Show Bio

"Excuse you".

#21 Posted by Yung ANcient One (4720 posts) - - Show Bio

I tend to walk away and fart in private and then return.

If my fart slipped out, I apologize if it made a sound or if it smells.

the "excuse you" from others annoys me. I find it rude, not gross, but rude for people to fart or berp in public. It is already rude so for someone to say "excuse you" to me, irritates me.

(+)

#22 Edited by dngn4774 (2924 posts) - - Show Bio

We got business M*th*f*ck*?

I'm really defensive of my farts.

#23 Posted by Perethorn (3279 posts) - - Show Bio

"Here goes nothing"

#24 Posted by Enemybird (3206 posts) - - Show Bio

Did someone step on a duck? lol jk i dont do that

#25 Posted by Bruxae (13065 posts) - - Show Bio

SHAZAM!

#26 Posted by consolemaster001 (5121 posts) - - Show Bio

.... I farted ?

#27 Posted by Joygirl (19277 posts) - - Show Bio

"Cup of tea, guv'na?" or "Heeheeheeheeheeheehee."

#28 Posted by Saint_Wildcard (9951 posts) - - Show Bio

Boom goes the dynamite.

Online
#29 Posted by Chibi_cute (4509 posts) - - Show Bio

what does the fart say?

ding ding ding

#30 Posted by MonsterStomp (16671 posts) - - Show Bio

My body just farted against my own will.

For real though..

I don't fart around others.

#31 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (17796 posts) - - Show Bio

"Ah"

#32 Posted by Comiccrazeraze (427 posts) - - Show Bio

Ah yes that was me sniff me have me in youuuu! SNIFF DEEPLY OF THE ELIXIR OF LIFFE!

#33 Posted by TheTrueBarryAllen (4759 posts) - - Show Bio

"Ahahahaha I totally just farted, don't go over there."

I always take the blame for my smaller farts, then when a huge one happens and I don't burst out and admit it people don't assume it's me, because I always take the blame!

FLAWLESS PLANS.

#34 Posted by EscapingReality (62 posts) - - Show Bio

Since I'm a quiet person, I just stay quieter and nobody notices me when I walk away and they smell it.

#35 Posted by RogueShadow (10230 posts) - - Show Bio

'Apologies for my flatulence.'

#36 Posted by Deathstroke19 (3799 posts) - - Show Bio

@rogueshadow: No good brits and their fancy words. :P

Lol jk

#37 Edited by RogueShadow (10230 posts) - - Show Bio

@deathstroke19 said:

@rogueshadow: No good brits and their fancy words. :P

Lol jk

'You dare besmirch the British Isles!'

*Gently and slowly pulls off glove*

*Slaps you using moderate force with said glove*

'I challenge you to a duel by the sword.'

#38 Posted by wildvine (8736 posts) - - Show Bio

"Speak to us oh toothless wonder"

Moderator
#39 Edited by Deathstroke19 (3799 posts) - - Show Bio

@rogueshadow:

*gives dirty look*

"And I challenge you in a hot dog eating contest football game and then we will see who can elect the worse politician!" #classic_america

#40 Edited by RogueShadow (10230 posts) - - Show Bio

@rogueshadow:

*gives dirty look*

"And I challenge you in a hot dog eating contest football game and then we will see who can elect the worse politician!" #classic_america

That's not football.

That's football.

#41 Edited by Deathstroke19 (3799 posts) - - Show Bio

@rogueshadow: Nope. I made sure to put #classic_america so you would know I'm talking about american football and not soccer football. :P

#42 Posted by RogueShadow (10230 posts) - - Show Bio

@rogueshadow: Nope. I made sure to put #classic_america so you would know I'm talking about american football and not soccer football. :P

Pffft.

'Soccer.'

What an American.

#43 Edited by Deathstroke19 (3799 posts) - - Show Bio
#44 Posted by _Zombie_ (10379 posts) - - Show Bio

If I do it right, I don't have to say a thing.

#45 Posted by Samimista (20647 posts) - - Show Bio
#46 Posted by Rouflex (16917 posts) - - Show Bio

...Excuse me while i...

#47 Posted by Jezer (3127 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't say anything and pretend like it didn't happen. Either, its with someone close enough to you that it doesn't matter if you fart, and therefore it doesn't need addressing.

Or, its with someone you're not close enough with, in which case they would probably feel too awkward to call you out on it - so no reason not to pretend like it didn't happen. If they do? Call them out on being awkward enough to call you out on it. Its a win-win.