US soldier claims to have protected secret Martian colonies

A recently retired American soldier claims to have protected 5 secret Martian colonies from native Martian inhabitants.

The retired officer, known only as Captain Kaye, also claims to have served in a secret 'space fleet' run by a multinational organisation called the Earth Defense Force.

A former US Marine has claimed he spent 17 years of his career on MARS.

The ex-naval infantryman, who uses the pseudonym Captain Kaye, says he was posted to the Red Planet to protect five human colonies from indigenous Martian life forms.

He claims he then spent nearly three years serving in a secret 'space fleet' run by a multinational organisation called the Earth Defense Force, which recruits military personnel from countries including the US, Russia and China.

In testimony released to ExoNews TV, Captain Kaye said he was trained to fly three different types of space fighters and three bombers.

He added that training took place on a secret moon base called Lunar Operations Command, Saturn’s moon Titan, and in deep space.

Captain Kaye says he retired after a 20 year tour of duty, describing a retirement ceremony on the moon that he claims was presided over by VIPs including ex-Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

Seems legit

So where was this option on Career Day?

...

Isn't there a game called Earth Defense Force?

Man, people are gonna believe him too.

He should draw doodles of these spaceships.

I believe you Capt Kaye!

Waitaminit. Isn't there an Earth Defense Force in the last Godzilla game?

My hero.

He also omitted the experimental hallucinogens he had been taking rectally for nearly two decades.

I found a flaw in his story-Titan is too far away for current space technology to reach.

What can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

Maybe for the current space technology they tell us about, man! You think they'd tell us civvies about the good stuff? No, they want to get out there and secure space, get their iron fists clenched around some moons before putting us on them, locked into their infernal grip, man!

this

lmao

Damn, it's always Titan.

@wildvine: You know what's funny? The EDF are from the Red Faction games that take place in Mars.

That video was hilarious.

@stormdriven: @wildvine: @keenko: EDF is a generic term used in a lot of fictional media.

media.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earth_Defense_Force_(disambiguation)

Right....and I protected Santa Claus' reindeer. Psh.

Just thinking these posts needed to be in this order.

And he didnt invite me

I hope he writes a book.

I could actually see this as a decent military sci fi read.

Guys, what if he's legit...

but he's just from the future...

He is my grandpa. The Martians experimented in him so now his arm falls off at random. A select group of viners already know this.

This really isn't any more ridiculous than certain things that most people believe in. Just sayin'.

Flamebait

haha

That's what the government wants you to believe.

PTSD.

I knew it, the truth is out there.

I think the most unbelievable part of that story is the US, Russia, and China all working together.

Pshh Maaaaaaaan we never even landed on the moon. It's a hoax. :p

Wildvine was the alien that did his daily probing.

Totally!

Of course we never made it to the moon, the Nazis are based there now.

It's true. Open your mind morons, the clues are all around you!

"Earth Defense Force?" He couldn't have come up with a more unique name for it?

Time for bug spray.