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#1 Edited by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio

I've been raising my two year old sister for a year now and she calls me Mommy,

i'm confused  on how to address the whole i'm not your mommy thing..... help^^

#2 Posted by aztek_the_lost (28224 posts) - - Show Bio

my nephews occassionally call me dad, but I simply correct them...I don't see why the same wouldn't work here

Moderator
#3 Posted by PRIMAV3RA (23049 posts) - - Show Bio

my nephews do that to me.  they are all really young and im a big part of their life.  tell them simply that im your well in this case "I'm your sister"  of course you can add things to it and stuff but yeah. 

#4 Posted by Resonate (15054 posts) - - Show Bio

just tell her in proper english/spanish that you are not her mommy

thats how you should treat children, dont just say "goo gee gaah", thats not how they learn to talk speak with proper grammar and they will understand how to speak better

#5 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio

U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents

#6 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
TheDrifter said:
"Uhm.......

What happened to her mom?"
She passed

aztek the lost said:
"my nephews occassionally call me dad, but I simply correct them...I don't see why the same wouldn't work here"

true,i guess
#7 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"

OF course you guys are like my encyclopedia
#8 Posted by TheDrifter (26563 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
Good point G

Sha said:
"TheDrifter said:
"Uhm.......

What happened to her mom?"
She passed

I'm sorry Sha
#9 Posted by aztek_the_lost (28224 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
if I thought of calling whoever raised me mom I wouldn't have one...that's why I stick with referring to my biological mother as mom
Moderator
#10 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
aztek the lost said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
if I thought of calling whoever raised me mom I wouldn't have one...that's why I stick with referring to my biological mother as mom"
?
#11 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
agreed
#12 Posted by aztek_the_lost (28224 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"aztek the lost said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
if I thought of calling whoever raised me mom I wouldn't have one...that's why I stick with referring to my biological mother as mom"
?"
my mom didn't raise me, she was never at home, no one raised me, I had babysitters I guess but that's it and I never called them mom...doesn't make sense to me why I would
Moderator
#13 Posted by PRIMAV3RA (23049 posts) - - Show Bio

i think that you can go about it in diff. ways from what i see here

since your raising her your not her sister. ya know just like how a parent has to be a parent before they are their children's friend.  my mom always said to me when i messed up "I'm your mother not your friend" so you could let her call you mother

or you could explain to her in a simple way what happened to your mother, pointing out that she isnt here and that your her sister. in the best way that you can

but thats just my op

#14 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
I think i'm going to go with this
#15 Posted by aztek_the_lost (28224 posts) - - Show Bio

btw, why is she calling you mom if you did not raise her to do so??

Moderator
#16 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
aztek the lost said:
"Gambler said:
"aztek the lost said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
if I thought of calling whoever raised me mom I wouldn't have one...that's why I stick with referring to my biological mother as mom"
?"
my mom didn't raise me, she was never at home, no one raised me, I had babysitters I guess but that's it and I never called them mom...doesn't make sense to me why I would"
Thats a completely different situation entirely. I think u know that.
#17 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
aztek the lost said:
"btw, why is she calling you mom if you did not raise her to do so??"

I think it's just natrual,

LMFAO her first word was sh!t

I'm pretty sure i never taught her that
#18 Posted by aztek_the_lost (28224 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"aztek the lost said:
"Gambler said:
"aztek the lost said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
if I thought of calling whoever raised me mom I wouldn't have one...that's why I stick with referring to my biological mother as mom"
?"
my mom didn't raise me, she was never at home, no one raised me, I had babysitters I guess but that's it and I never called them mom...doesn't make sense to me why I would"
Thats a completely different situation entirely. I think u know that."
so its different but I stand by my point of not understanding why people always lie to children like that...its not like your helping them out in life, at least you know your grandma is your grandma, Sha should at least explain she's not the mother of Shayla
Moderator
#19 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio

i never had a dad and when my mom got a bf who she was with for nine years i always looked at him as my dad. i call him dad. but i do know that if my daughter ever calls some other guy dad theres gonna be a fight

#20 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
aztek the lost said:
so its different but I stand by my point of not understanding why people always lie to children like that...its not like your helping them out in life, at least you know your grandma is your grandma, Sha should at least explain she's not the mother of Shayla"
As far as I can tell no one is advocating lying to the child. But if shes not old enough to understand that what would be the point? Shes already (from what has been posted) gone through a traumatic ordeal. If calling Sha mommy some how brings her comfort or helps her cope then I see no reason the shatter the illusion now. Sure at some point it would be wise for Sha to sit her down and explain exactly what happened and what the situation is.

However she could point out how she raised her as her own daughter. And that just because she didn't give birth to her in no way means she loves her any less or diminishes their life together as a family.

I'm out
#21 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio

AZTEC SHE IS 2 YRS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! try explaining sh!t to a 2 yr old and see how far that gets you.

#22 Posted by Resonate (15054 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website?
we have philosophers and people with degrees in quantum physics on this site, I dont see how here could be worse than anyone else
#23 Edited by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
Resonate said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website?
we have philosophers and people with degrees in quantum physics on this site, I dont see how here could be worse than anyone else"
And? We also have people who fight for three days about who can beat who, Superman or Goku. Theres alot more of them then Philosophers and people with Quantum Physics degrees. Which by the way contributes nothing to the actual question. A degree in QP doesnt mean you know the first thing about parenting.
#24 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"Resonate said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website?
we have philosophers and people with degrees in quantum physics on this site, I dont see how here could be worse than anyone else"
And? We also have people who fight for three days about who can beat who, Superman or Goku. Theres alot more of them then Philosophers and Quantum Physics. Which by the way contributes nothing to the actual question. A degree in QP doesnt mean you know the first thing about parenting."
agreed but lets not forget we do have some parents on this site too
#25 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
Ultimate Ronin said:
"Gambler said:
"Resonate said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website?
we have philosophers and people with degrees in quantum physics on this site, I dont see how here could be worse than anyone else"
And? We also have people who fight for three days about who can beat who, Superman or Goku. Theres alot more of them then Philosophers and Quantum Physics. Which by the way contributes nothing to the actual question. A degree in QP doesnt mean you know the first thing about parenting."
agreed but lets not forget we do have some parents on this site too"
Thats true (poppa Ronin :P)
#26 Posted by Resonate (15054 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"Resonate said:
"Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website?
we have philosophers and people with degrees in quantum physics on this site, I dont see how here could be worse than anyone else"
And? We also have people who fight for three days about who can beat who, Superman or Goku. Theres alot more of them then Philosophers and people with Quantum Physics degrees. Which by the way contributes nothing to the actual question. A degree in QP doesnt mean you know the first thing about parenting."
I was simply stating something you can calm down o__O

and I already put my two cents in at the beginning of the thread, if you want me to put this track on repeat I will gladly make another meaningless post
#27 Posted by Shaper (5168 posts) - - Show Bio
Sha said:
"I've been raising my two year old sister for a year now and she calls me Mommy,

i'm confused  on how to address the whole i'm not your mommy thing..... help^^"
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

I'm laughing cause that's cute. Maybe you should try to get her to call her mother mommy. She is 2, so she can easily adapt to something.
#28 Posted by Shaper (5168 posts) - - Show Bio
PRIMAV3RA said:
"i think that you can go about it in diff. ways from what i see here

since your raising her your not her sister. ya know just like how a parent has to be a parent before they are their children's friend.  my mom always said to me when i messed up "I'm your mother not your friend" so you could let her call you mother

or you could explain to her in a simple way what happened to your mother, pointing out that she isnt here and that your her sister. in the best way that you can

but thats just my op"
Lol, thats what my mom says. But my father says: "I'm your Father. I'm your friend. Now grab a beer and lets watch football" :P jk.
#29 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
Resonate said:
I was simply stating something you can calm down o__O

and I already put my two cents in at the beginning of the thread, if you want me to put this track on repeat I will gladly make another meaningless post"
Calm down? I was simply responding to you quoting me. No need to start acting silly. 

And as far as your first post goes, no need to repeat something no one payed attention to in the first place.
#30 Posted by lady_redhead (9592 posts) - - Show Bio

sha hon, from a social work point of view.. just be honest.. explain who you are and be clear with her.. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand.. kids are amazingly resiliant.. she will strugggle but she will deal. have faith

#31 Posted by Shaper (5168 posts) - - Show Bio
Shaper said:
"Sha said:
"I've been raising my two year old sister for a year now and she calls me Mommy,

i'm confused  on how to address the whole i'm not your mommy thing..... help^^"
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

I'm laughing cause that's cute. Maybe you should try to get her to call her mother mommy. She is 2, so she can easily adapt to something."

Sha said:
"TheDrifter said:
"Uhm.......

What happened to her mom?"
She passed
Ohhhhh, My bad. I'm sorry, I didn't read the whole thread.
#32 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio

she is 2 years old youd have better luck telling her that santa claus aint real than telling her not to call you mom. like i said if my daughter ever calls another guy dad im surely gonna be pissed but i also know that my ex had another daughter who has called me dad for the past two years and she has a good dad but getting her to listen and understand doesnt work b/c she is still to young to get what is going on. hell getting a 2 year old to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone trying to explain something as complex as to who her real mom is and so forth

#33 Posted by T.J. Magnum (27685 posts) - - Show Bio
Mistress Redhead said:
"sha hon, from a social work point of view.. just be honest.. explain who you are and be clear with her.. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand.. kids are amazingly resiliant.. she will strugggle but she will deal. have faith

"

from a guy who works at a sporting goods store point of view ..............uh i don't know.

Shrugs
#34 Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau (84704 posts) - - Show Bio
Ultimate Ronin said:
" hell getting a 2 year old to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough
Funniest thing I've read all night
#35 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"Ultimate Ronin said:
" hell getting a 2 year old to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough
Funniest thing I've read all night"
lol its true
#36 Posted by Shaper (5168 posts) - - Show Bio
Ultimate Ronin said:
"she is 2 years old youd have better luck telling her that santa claus aint real than telling her not to call you mom. like i said if my daughter ever calls another guy dad im surely gonna be pissed but i also know that my ex had another daughter who has called me dad for the past two years and she has a good dad but getting her to listen and understand doesnt work b/c she is still to young to get what is going on. hell getting a 2 year old to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone trying to explain something as complex as to who her real mom is and so forth"
Yea, but a 2 year old doesn't understand what a Mom is either. So, honestly it shouldn't be that hard to get her to call her sister. Because to a two year, that could mean the same. Children minds are better at learning things then adults. Their minds are like sponges (I know you probably know this, seeing how you have a daughter but, I'm just saying it) they can learn new words easily. Does that mean they understand what they mean though? No. So, really right now, if you try to convince her you are her sister not her mommy, that won't leave any emotional scars. But, to be honest, I would probably try to convince I'm not her father or whatever. But, I can't say for sure, cause I never had a baby brother or sister. I'm the youngest.
#37 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
Mistress Redhead said:
"sha hon, from a social work point of view.. just be honest.. explain who you are and be clear with her.. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand.. kids are amazingly resiliant.. she will strugggle but she will deal. have faith

"
if i let her call me mommy then i'll have to discuss it with my bro and older sister.

IDK i guess i have agood 5 years before i have to tell her
#38 Posted by Resonate (15054 posts) - - Show Bio
Mistress Redhead said:
"sha hon, from a social work point of view.. just be honest.. explain who you are and be clear with her.. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand.. kids are amazingly resiliant.. she will strugggle but she will deal. have faith

"
someone agreed with what I said :D
#39 Posted by N!ghtwing (38 posts) - - Show Bio
Resonate said:
"Mistress Redhead said:
"sha hon, from a social work point of view.. just be honest.. explain who you are and be clear with her.. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand.. kids are amazingly resiliant.. she will strugggle but she will deal. have faith

"
someone agreed with what I said :D"
Mmm, nope.

Mistress Redhead said:
. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand..

#40 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio
Sha said:
"Mistress Redhead said:
"sha hon, from a social work point of view.. just be honest.. explain who you are and be clear with her.. its better you tell her when seh old enough to understand.. kids are amazingly resiliant.. she will strugggle but she will deal. have faith

"
if i let her call me mommy then i'll have to discuss it with my bro and older sister.

IDK i guess i have agood 5 years before i have to tell her"
thatd be best chica
#41 Posted by Agent_Lost (49 posts) - - Show Bio
Sha said:
"I've been raising my two year old sister for a year now and she calls me Mommy,

i'm confused  on how to address the whole i'm not your mommy thing..... help^^"

Well, let her be for now. Wait until she older and tell the true, that your mom has pass way and to do her best to honor her will. To do her best so that here mom time was not wasted. Heck that what I'm doing, my dad pass way and I'm doing my best to show that his did not waste is time.

#42 Posted by pixelized (62883 posts) - - Show Bio

Just smack her into submission

#43 Posted by Mer-Man (3360 posts) - - Show Bio

Awwww :P

#44 Posted by King Saturn (225088 posts) - - Show Bio
Awww... thats so cool. Sha is a Mommy

(=
#45 Posted by The_Martian (36984 posts) - - Show Bio
Gambler said:
"U sure you wanna take advice from people on a comicbook website? Whats a mommy is a matter of opinion (to me anyway). I was raised for the most part by my grandparents and have always called my grandma, mom. You say your raising her, to me it sounds like you are her mom. Thats my two cents"
Agreed.
#46 Posted by Ultimate Ronin (2800 posts) - - Show Bio

a 2 year old is just starting to speak full sentences let alone understand about death and what not.... like i getting them to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone understand the realities of life....

#47 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
Ultimate Ronin said:
"a 2 year old is just starting to speak full sentences let alone understand about death and what not.... like i getting them to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone understand the realities of life...."
yeah
#48 Posted by Jack the Ripper (2225 posts) - - Show Bio
Ultimate Ronin said:
"a 2 year old is just starting to speak full sentences let alone understand about death and what not.... like i getting them to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone understand the realities of life...."

that's a load of crap, have you ever met a 2 year old? I have known too quite well and death is a simple concept for them actually
#49 Posted by Shanana (53448 posts) - - Show Bio
Jack the Ripper said:
"Ultimate Ronin said:
"a 2 year old is just starting to speak full sentences let alone understand about death and what not.... like i getting them to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone understand the realities of life...."

that's a load of crap, have you ever met a 2 year old? I have known too quite well and death is a simple concept for them actually"
Well i need that two year old to meet mine
#50 Posted by pixelized (62883 posts) - - Show Bio
Jack the Ripper said:
"Ultimate Ronin said:
"a 2 year old is just starting to speak full sentences let alone understand about death and what not.... like i getting them to understand what a toilet is for is hard enough let alone understand the realities of life...."

that's a load of crap, have you ever met a 2 year old? I have known too quite well and death is a simple concept for them actually"
it's not