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#1 Posted by reaperOnyx (1177 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm a boy and I have been feeling like I have been transgender for the past 4 years. I'm thinking its is either a phase or I'm actually transgender. Do phases really go for this long? I would like to get your guys opinions about transgender people in general. Please no mean comments or anything offensive.

#2 Posted by Squares (8392 posts) - - Show Bio

Do yourself a favor and talk to someone about this, someone who's actually qualified to help you.

And as far as I'm concerned, Transgender people are just that- people. Being transgender makes you no more and no less of a person than anyone else.

#3 Posted by mikex20 (2776 posts) - - Show Bio

No one in the world knows you, as well as you know yourself. If you feel like it's a phase, then it's a phase. If you feel like you came to terms with identifying the real you, then that's what you did.

#4 Edited by Vitalius (2295 posts) - - Show Bio
#5 Edited by Marionettegeist (1912 posts) - - Show Bio

@reaperonyx: I'd love to help but we're random strangers on the internet. There's no real way we can give you the right answer, and we couldn't really give you a real answer even if we knew you in real life.

#6 Posted by CaptainUzi (1928 posts) - - Show Bio

@vitalius said:

@reaperonyx: @squares:

Agree. Plus forums are place to cyberbullying to happening.

This bro ^. talk to your parents and or a therapist.

#7 Posted by silkyballfro94 (2005 posts) - - Show Bio

Talk to a friend. There's no way we could help you find out over the internet, I think. Hope you find an answer.

#8 Edited by Dabee (2399 posts) - - Show Bio

Pretty much what everyone else is saying. You know yourself better than anyone, and even more so better than any strangers on the internet.

#9 Posted by _Gaff_ (3785 posts) - - Show Bio

Do you wish for your male genitals to be removed? If yes, I would say its safe to say your Trans. But you should defiantly talk to a professional.

#10 Posted by SheenLantern (6910 posts) - - Show Bio

Go to a psychologist.

#11 Posted by Maddpanda531 (1122 posts) - - Show Bio

@reaperonyx: I'm sorry, but the internet is pretty much the worst place to take this to. You should really talk to friends or family, the people you know and trust, about something like this. Best wishes to you, my friend.

#12 Edited by CF12793 (2993 posts) - - Show Bio

@squares said:

Do yourself a favor and talk to someone about this, someone who's actually qualified to help you.

And as far as I'm concerned, Transgender people are just that- people. Being transgender makes you no more and no less of a person than anyone else.

#13 Edited by Herokiller12344 (997 posts) - - Show Bio

I would have an opinion, but I don't want to get 30 angry messages. So yeah, get help.

#14 Edited by Extremis (3363 posts) - - Show Bio

@reaperonyx: I like transgender people as much as anyone else. I think there's a lot more people who are accepting of it these days than before.

It sounds like you're confused, which is totally cool. You don't have to have an answer to this question right away. Maybe do some more introspection and explore what would make you most happy; what makes you feel most like your true self.

Just be who you are and don't be afraid of what other people think.

I know this might not be the most shocking advice but I find being true to oneself is the key to happiness and even in getting acceptance from other people. The people who really matter will love you no matter what.

I hope this helps!

#15 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

Be careful around parents. Break it to them easy but be sure to let them know first. I suggest a therapist who specializes in getting diagnosed, good luck.

#16 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29510 posts) - - Show Bio

This is literally the worst place to ask about that sort of thing.

#17 Edited by TheCheeseStabber (8062 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm PanSexual I don't know if that counts ...

(I'm not male nor female and I kinda choose in the moment)

#18 Posted by V_Scarlotte_Rose (6545 posts) - - Show Bio

If you've been feeling that way for so long, maybe it's not a phase, though I don't know for sure how long a phase could last. If you're feeling like you should act on how you feel, maybe you should look into what steps you could take.

Either way, good luck with your situation.

#19 Posted by Bruxae (14008 posts) - - Show Bio

I do believe it being a phase is possible, but it depends alot on how strong the feelings are and how old you are. Not saying that a young person cant be transgendered, just that it is easier to be confused.

Id suggest first of all to read up abit about it, the procedures, transgendered people's experiences and try to get a good perspective on it, make sure if its really for you or not. If you do still feel like its what you are, talk to some kind of therapist that specializes in this sort of thing. But like Tifa said, you probably shouldnt tell your parents until you are sure since ive heard alot about mixed reactions.

#20 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

My mom was upset... that I didn't trust her enough to tell her first. (I'm transgendered)

#21 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

Btw, my advice is to approach this like: "mom, do you love me? Have I been doing good around the house? Nothing bad happened, it's just that I think I might have gender identity disorder and I want to sort things out with the help of a professional."

If there are religious reasons why she doesn't approve, that's hard, but the Bible doesn't say anything about being transgendered. The arguments against are pretty weaksauce IMO.

#22 Edited by Chaos Prime (10857 posts) - - Show Bio

Do yourself a favour & get proper advice from a Transgender support group.Your not ill or going mental as some might think here with their advice.

#23 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

Everyone else has already said it. You're not insane, or unstable, but talk to a professional who can really help you through this. You just need to talk to someone who can be on you level.

Be careful around parents. Break it to them easy but be sure to let them know first. I suggest a therapist who specializes in getting diagnosed, good luck.

There is no getting diagnosed...this isnt the 1950's, and it isn't a disease. And, i am truly sorry if that is how you feel about it.

#24 Edited by V_Scarlotte_Rose (6545 posts) - - Show Bio
#25 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork: The NHS website uses the word "diagnosis": http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Gender-dysphoria/Pages/Diagnosis.aspx

I think the word is just used as a way of confirming that a person needs treatment.

I get that...but, treatment for what? What is wrong with a person having a transgendered identity? Defining it as a diagnosis implies that there is something wrong. How else could that be interpreted? I am not arguing, I just have very little knowledge on a person going through this, and it just seems (possibly) unnitentionally bias towards the way a person feels about themself.

#26 Posted by V_Scarlotte_Rose (6545 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork: Treatment as in therapy, hormones and surgery, in order to transition to the correct sex.

I don't get what you mean about bias.

#27 Edited by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@v_scarlotte_rose: I suppose i understand more, after reading the website. By bias, i meant that, somone going through this personal revelation may be disuaded from seeking help by the language of their needing to be diagnosed. The term diagnose is used for illnesses…it just seems awkward, in an already awkward situation.

#28 Posted by V_Scarlotte_Rose (6545 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork: I see, that does seem possible. I know that some people do consider it an illness, but maybe that isn't how everyone sees it.

#29 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork: No offense was intended, and I endorse the OP seeking professional help. I myself want to get officially "diagnosed" so I can legally begin the process.

#30 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@v_scarlotte_rose: Im sure the person making this transition would not want it to be anything related to an illness. That being said, the website you provided seems genuine in their concern, and not antagonistic.

#31 Posted by Joygirl (19955 posts) - - Show Bio

@reaperonyx: My advice would be to look into it pretty quickly. It sounds like you're still young, which means you're at a great time to start transitioning if you feel you really want to do it. 4 years is a long while to feel that way so I'd say it is definitely rooted in something real rather than just a really long phase, but I could be wrong. But yeah, as others have said, an actual TG/TS hotline may be more helpful to you than ComicVine.

#32 Posted by V_Scarlotte_Rose (6545 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork: It maybe varies from person to person, but I know someone who's in this situation and they do think of it as an illness. They've said it's like their whole body is deformed, and transitioning is the cure for it.

Or did you mean they wouldn't want to be thought of as having something wrong with their mind?

The website is that of the U.K. National Health Service, so I think they know what they're doing. :)

#33 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@v_scarlotte_rose: I think in general, that someone whom has come to terms with this, or beginning its transition, wouldn't want it thought of as an illness of the mind or body. Again, I have virtually no experience in this, other than a few people I sorta knew back in college. But, the idea of consciously making this change, and allowing it to be thought of as an illness, seems counterintuitive.

#34 Posted by Joygirl (19955 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdok: @v_scarlotte_rose: In my experience it varies from person to person. Some people try to get "cured" and be "normal" again. Some people think their body is diseased and cure it. Others accept that they're different and just do their best to fit in. Yet more protest against being "normal" and wear their transness on their sleeve (when not going all out genderqueer). It's all really relative to the person.

#35 Posted by wildvine (10374 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't ask us. No offense, but there are some jerks here (Like anywhere) This is a question for professional people.

Moderator
#36 Posted by Wolverine08 (45714 posts) - - Show Bio
#37 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio
#38 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@joygirl: When thinking about it, it is actually a lot to take in, and not so cut and dry. I suppose could heavily depend on upbringing, from the household, as to how one would be able to deal with this change, or other external forces. I guess, from my point of view, I don’t think of anyone whom has made a concrete decision about their identity, be it transsexual/gendered or otherwise, as being someone with a problem. But, I am not the one in their shoes...So, thank you for the insight.

#39 Posted by Joygirl (19955 posts) - - Show Bio

@tifalockhart: I've heard that there are. Never been on one though so I can't confirm it. At the very least there are websites and forums for the... um... "condition" (nah screw that, I refuse to say condition).

#40 Posted by Joygirl (19955 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdok: You're quite welcome. As you said it isn't exactly cut and dry -- and in reality is even LESS cut and dry than the way I presented it, once you take into account transvestites, genderqueers, agenders, bigenders, trigenders (no clue what that is but I've heard it's a thing) those who mostly transition but retain something a little "extra", those who have fluid genders, and then the endless rainbow of just being gay, bi, or even straight, but flambouyant or laddish in varying shades. Labels are getting increasingly blurred as people realize it isn't always necessary to fit in and they can do whatever they want to. Aaand now I'm rambling.

#41 Edited by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

My mom thinks its a problem.

#42 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

My mom thinks its a problem.

Well, then thats her problem. Dont have to make it yours too.

#43 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

I kinda live with her and she takes care of me though.

#44 Edited by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@tifalockhart: Things that can change. Get a job and move out. Take care of yourself. Sorry if that seems harsh. I am just offput by people who play to their parents' hand so much. Be your own person. You seem cool, so dont always be so down, all the time.

#45 Posted by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio

@nerdork: Why thank you. The problem is, I have a job and it pays $8 an hour.

#46 Posted by Z3RO180 (6719 posts) - - Show Bio

Is it just me or has there been a lot of these thread popping up lately ?

#47 Edited by TifaLockhart (14167 posts) - - Show Bio
#48 Posted by Ironshinobi88 (1340 posts) - - Show Bio

I don't really have an issue with Transgender's, you should probably really really get help about coming out. HOwever if you do, there are so many repurcussions about being one that I don't think you'd be ready for.


#49 Posted by nerdork (4039 posts) - - Show Bio

@tifalockhart: Low paying jobs are troublesome. I’m not saying it’s easy, but there are other jobs out there, and it just takes some perseverance, and a lot of follow up, to get one.

#50 Posted by Z3RO180 (6719 posts) - - Show Bio