So had a debate with my mother and one of my friends about this other day. My friend took a more neutral/could understand both sides stance, while my mother took the opposing stance of mine.
Pretty much this spawned from the recent case with Rice in the NFL and them covering it up and such. But that has it's own topic. As I was saying though, how do you guys and girls feel on here about it?
My mother feels (and mind you she's very oldschool so keep that in mind) that no woman should be abused, and perhaps they stay with that nasty abuser out offear. I agree on nobody should be abused, however if you purposely choose to stay with that person aren't you in a way asking for it? Not saying you WANT it but you know this person, you choose to stay with this person. I don't know...this way she leaves him, gets a restraining order, that don't work get a gun and shoot him? Self defense right? May sound like a lot of effort but can't be any more than staying in a horrible relationship and getting abused for years you know?
I personally happen to think that's not always true, I mean I used to work with a girl who was in an abusive relationship would always flirt with me and give me the "oh I'd so go for you if I didn't have a boyfriend" meanwhile, this guy hit her, verbally abused her. She felt trapped because she lived with him and his folks(who hooked her up with my job) we all worked in the same building. So I guess in her case to a degree at least I can see how that would be a rough case. However, the guy also cheated on her and such. Yet, she'd preach how "she loved him etc" after a while not to sound mean but this just annoys me. Not only as a nicer fellow to women, but just seems like an excuse to not break free from someone like that.
I mean there are other options to me, this is where I disagree with my mother. Make friends with other guys(I mean actual guy friends who will help you) if another guy is in their face they may think twice before stalking you or not letting you go. B. get a gun legally(ok I know this depends on the state, laws etc where you are) but this is possible in a lot of areas via legal permits. It may sound extreme but if I were a girl, I'd consider this instead of living my life in fear and being miserable...C. engage with authorities, bug them til they actually do something about it. I believe they're also a big cause for this issue as well. I mean they give you the "we'll look into it blah, blah" story. I'm just saying, if at times the cops did their job better or took more interest at least we'd have a lot less cases of "taking the law into your own hands"
Then there's the classic case of "oh but I love him" even after you've been physically abused, verbally abused and mistreated for God knows how long. I'm really sorry, and I told my mom this too but those people to me I want to say something else but I'll just say "aren't too bright" I mean in life there are things both in our control and out of our control, this is one thing IN our control be it girl or guy. I've been in a few crazy relationships and even had a stalker once/crazy girl who wanted to marry me even though I knew her under a month. lol. After I broke it off as best I could, she kept calling and calling. But not going to go into that *laughs* my point is I just don't understand people who stay in abusive relationships then complain about it. To me it's like, well you made your bed now sleep in it.
This is just my opinion, tell me yours.
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