Thoughts on dating Trans Women

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akbogert

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@akbogert: i think you're leaving out a big part in your equation, children. What if you want your own children and not adopt? It can play a huge part in if you want to pursue a relationship or not. Not for me personally, but it's something that's overlooked :)

That's only really a factor if people do fertility tests prior to getting romantically involved. I think there are plenty of couples which want to have their own children and simply find out through trying that they can't.

I guess for people who know prior to a relationship that they are sterile, that might be a good parallel -- something you'd hope wouldn't be the defining factor in a person's decision to be with you, but recognize that for some people that really is a dealbreaker.

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V_Scarlotte_Rose

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#52  Edited By V_Scarlotte_Rose

I don't think a transperson has to talk about their medical history. It's a very personal thing, and it probably doesn't need to be said.

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BumpyBoo

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#53  Edited By BumpyBoo  Moderator

Hmm, I don't know really. I mean there must surely come a point where you have to be honest. I can kind of sympathise in a way, I have a slight physical anomaly (not really up for elaborating on that) and there always comes a point in a new relationship where I know I have to tell the person rather than have them find out, you know? Never been a problem so far, but I think if you want to start something off on the right foot you have to be honest, as soon as things start to get a little serious. Only seems right. If you love someone, then it should not necessarily get in the way, but at the same time I think it is only fair to make sure a potential partner has all the info to make the same informed decision about being together that you have been able to make. Otherwise it's not really fair. We all have the right to choose what gender we want to be, but also what gender we want to be with, so really there should be more understanding on both sides. I like cheese sandwiches. I like peanut butter sandwiches. But send me one when I ordered the other, and I'm gonna send it back! :)

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mrdecepticonleader

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@bumpyboo said:

Hmm, I don't know really. I mean there must surely come a point where you have to be honest. I can kind of sympathise in a way, I have a slight physical anomaly (not really up for elaborating on that) and there always comes a point in a new relationship where I know I have to tell the person rather than have them find out, you know? Never been a problem so far, but I think if you want to start something off on the right foot you have to be honest, as soon as things start to get a little serious. Only seems right. If you love someone, then it should not necessarily get in the way, but at the same time I think it is only fair to make sure a potential partner has all the info to make the same informed decision about being together that you have been able to make. Otherwise it's not really fair. We all have the right to choose what gender we want to be, but also what gender we want to be with, so really there should be more understanding on both sides. I like cheese sandwiches. I like peanut butter sandwiches. But send me one when I ordered the other, and I'm gonna send it back! :)

Yeah you are right.

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consolemaster001

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1-Yes

2- GET THE F*** OUTTA THERE !

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consolemaster001

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laflux

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#57  Edited By laflux

I could understand why they wouldn't tell me super early on, though I'd prefer if they did.

Ideally yes. If I was dating them in the first place, and was having a physical relationship, it would be because I found them attractive both aesthetically, sexually and connected with them on an emotional level. All of that doesn't really change because they were once a boy. Mentally and emotionally, they have always been female. Sexually, I'm not doing the deed with who they were, but who they are.

I do highlight the Ideally because of pressure. I would feel under pressure, mostly because of emotional baggage that could be unintentionally carrying- its a hard process, which could complicate things. More importantly, I'd say I'd feel under pressure from Friends of Family and Family. Its something that I'm 100 percent certain that I would be cut from/disowned however you want to put it for (dating a Post OP transgender).

But of course its something I guess you only really say for certain once your that situation...................

And @joygirl your already stuck with me on my list of followers. >:DDDD MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

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Lone_Wolf_and_Cub

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I would never date a transgender. But to each their own.

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Avenging-X-Bolt

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w0nd

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I wouldn't date one, I wouldn't be comfortable with it, the way i acted towards her wouldn't come off as I love you, it would me always being on edge and uncomfortable. If my mind isn't in it , then my heart isn't so it would be pointless

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Avenging-X-Bolt

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#61  Edited By Avenging-X-Bolt

@dabee said:

What I think is kind of strange is that you're just posting pictures of women who are basically models as a justification. I really don't think it should be about, "sure you're a trangenders, but you look great!" That's a pretty objectifying approach to it all.

Now, what if it was a person who was born with the same physical anatomy that they felt they had? (Such as a woman who was born a woman.) Are you saying you have to find them extremely attractive, or else they can hit the road? Let's remember, all people by definition ARE... well, people. That's why we call them people: because they are people. If they weren't people, we wouldn't call them people. I'm digressing, let's move on.

If you are saying that a transgender would have to appear extremely attractive to you, or else you ignore her, that's knocking them down to a sub-human level in a sense. Now maybe some of you ARE only into super-attractive model-esque women in any case, in which case I would inform you that you may want to change. However, I doubt this is the case, and feel that the whole "they have to be attractive" thing only applies to transgenders. It just seems very much like you're objectifying them just because they're different. I'm not talking to anyone in particular, but if you said something along the lines of "BUT THEY HAVE TO B HOT N STUFF," then you know I'm talking to you.

But can I say that some of these girls/women turn out beautiful after the op.(PS I'm confused cause I don't know if that makes me gay or not) One of them was Kim Petras and I was just like wow.

That's an example of what I mean. We also have to stop assuming that everything for transgenders is easy and that they WANT to screw you over. (No pun intended, okay maybe a little bit. Actually, intended. Definitely intended.) I can assure you that if a transgender you are dating hasn't told you yet, it's no with malicious intent. They aren't thinking, 'HA! I'm really getting him/her!' It's not easy for them to tell you either, I would assume. I really am not a huge authority on the topic, but it seems a WHOLE LOT like a lot of posters are forgetting that the transgenders are just as much people as all of us. I felt the need to stress that. And one more thing:

i didnt mean anything like that. i feel bad now.

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Dabee

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#62  Edited By Dabee

@dabee said:

What I think is kind of strange...

i didnt mean anything like that. i feel bad now.

Ha, I guess the whole "to nobody in particular thing" kind of really didn't do its job. I was too naive thinking that mattered, my bad I guess. But I can see how it related to what you said, and how it was somewhat directed towards you. I didn't mean it angrily though, which is one thing I don't like about communicating by text. My tone can come off all wrong.

Yeah, don't feel bad because of what I said, I really didn't mean it in an accusatory fashion in any way shape or form. I really just meant it as a reminder that these are also people, and that they aren't out to get you.

Some people were saying "kill em and throw up," which although I'm sure isn't true, is still overboard. Yeah, don't let what I said make you feel bad! Totally not how I intended it, just as a sort of reminder.

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MyNameWasDeleted

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@avenging_x_bolt said:
If she looked like this than hell yes
If she looked like this than hell yes

she looks a bit underage to me, but I have no qualms dating a trans-female pre or post-op. I just have 3 rules 1] be over 21 years of age and b] must be feminine-looking trois] must be a B-cup or higher [i need something to suck on besides their wieners =P

hahahahaaa - you so funny (lets go out)

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AweSam

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@joygirl: Like, don't follow people who wouldn't date one?

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Joygirl

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Women?

Women are born, not created in a hospital. ;)

These are men with implants and mutilated wieners.

I find I have to use this image way too much lately.

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Joygirl

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@awesam said:

@joygirl: Like, don't follow people who wouldn't date one?

Nope, don't follow people who act like doofuses. Everyone is entitled to their tastes and opinions, but I don't have to associate with the ones who act like turds.

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MyNameWasDeleted

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I have always said, with regards to dating/love/sex... I don't draw any lines, I AM the line.

So therefore I can freely be with whomever I chose, in whatever expression of emotional connection I feel toward them (same as any 'cis-gendered' person can). I'm not going to tell someone who I don't feel a connection with anything too deep about myself, that's gobsmackingly ridiculous to think that I must. Just because I'm different than the expectation does not mean I have an obligation to reveal something that could be potentially ruinous to an otherwise enjoyable evening.

That being said though, if I should feel an instant connection on some deeper level than just a person I am going out on some date with- I would absolutely get into 'the conversation'. It is afterall tantamount to revealing one's secret identity and you know how tight lipped one must be about THAT. You can't just put that genie back in it's bottle.

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KnightRise

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#68  Edited By KnightRise

@avenging_x_bolt said:
If she looked like this than hell yes
If she looked like this than hell yes

who's that ?

DON'T RUIN HETEROSEXUALITY FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damnit, she is hot. So...how exactly do post-op vajayjays work, anyone? Anyone?

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AweSam

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@joygirl: I hope you can distinguish between opinion and ignorance.

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Joygirl

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@knightrise:

Supposedly, with a good surgeon it is almost indistinguishable, but not quite as deep.

@awesam:

I try, it isn't always easy.

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ShadowX

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@knightrise: post op vaginas look and pretty much react like cis vaginas from my understanding. Although there are various differnt types of surgery and ways to construct them.

Also your "heterosexuality" isn ruined because she is a girl. Case in point.

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Joygirl

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Whoopsie.

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MyNameWasDeleted

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#73  Edited By MyNameWasDeleted

this may be difficult to read for some so I will spoiler it

With regards to vaginoplasty,

you will only be able to have a vagina as deep as your penis is long, less a little bit for scarring. There is also the issue of needing to 'dialate' daily- for the rest of your life- or risk the vagina closing. Dialation is the insertion of a device, similar to a dildo, increasing in size as prescribed, that must be held in place for some length of time. To start one would normally need to dialate three times a day for a minimum of half an hour at at time, after a year or so it might need only be done twice a day, then once a day some length of time after that - your doctor will prescribe a schedule for dialation. This is a serious issue and not to be made light of, but the technology is not perfected yet, and it's even less advanced for the transformation of a vagina into a penis. We have quite a ways to go yet.

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Pharoh_Atem

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@joygirl said:
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Whoopsie.

Damn there are all hot =D

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vance_astro

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#75 vance_astro  Moderator

It's gay.

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MyNameWasDeleted

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@vance_astro: not technically... it's sort of a gray area. On a genetic level one might be male or female, but you don't fall in love with an 'x' or a 'y' - you fall in love with a person. Their external expression of gender might be dissimilar to their internal genetic coding of secondary sex characteristics, though if it's been surgically and/or chemically altered to fall in line with their gender expression (how they feel about who they are) then it's not truly 'gay'. It's only gay if you are having homosexual sex- once 'transgender' is stirred into the mix in any form it ceases to be homosexual.

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vance_astro

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#77 vance_astro  Moderator

@mynamewasdeleted said:

It's only gay if you are having homosexual sex- once 'transgender' is stirred into the mix in any form it ceases to be homosexual.

I disagree, but it's cool if others feel differently. I'm not going to judge them.

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z3ro180

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They are hot woman but they are also men ? I don't know what's real anymore O__o

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ShadowX

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@z3ro180: they arent men >.<. They are woman.. Who are simply trans

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thespideyguy

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laflux

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@joygirl said:

@cezar_thescribe said:

Women?

Women are born, not created in a hospital. ;)

These are men with implants and mutilated wieners.

I find I have to use this image way too much lately.

No Caption Provided

Meh not to bad, but I think this is better

Loading Video...

Also this is a general point, but I do think that the alot of the opposition to dating post op transgender girls lies with the perception of how society would see them. Hence, some of the statements you often hear, is "maybe, but only if they are really hot". As if people are measuring up the hit there rep would take against how attractive the women is. I reckon that if the public at large were unaware, alot more of the no's would become hell yeah's.

Oh if this isn't too much of a private question are you full post op. Just wondering as you said, "Supposedly, with a good surgeon it is almost indistinguishable, but not quite as deep".

It's gay.

Not really. Even if you think they are still guys (I don't but hey ho), liking Cis Girls would make too would make Bi-Sexual/Bi-Curious.

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dngn4774

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I feel like at one point this thread gave us all a good opportunity to throw in a Crying Game joke but we never cashed in on it.

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Cezar_TheScribe

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Men are men, like it or not. ;)

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vance_astro

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#84 vance_astro  Moderator

@laflux said:

Not really. Even if you think they are still guys (I don't but hey ho), liking Cis Girls would make too would make Bi-Sexual/Bi-Curious.

Bi-Sexual is gay as far as i'm concerned.

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umbrafeline

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#85  Edited By umbrafeline

@umbrafeline said:

@avenging_x_bolt said:
If she looked like this than hell yes
If she looked like this than hell yes

she looks a bit underage to me, but I have no qualms dating a trans-female pre or post-op. I just have 3 rules 1] be over 21 years of age and b] must be feminine-looking trois] must be a B-cup or higher [i need something to suck on besides their wieners =P

hahahahaaa - you so funny (lets go out)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWKa_GO_3hc

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Pfcoolio14

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#86  Edited By Pfcoolio14

@vance_astro:

I like you Vance

Edit:

I mean I like how your opinion if you're confused. This is a confusing thread

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vance_astro

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#87 vance_astro  Moderator

@pfcoolio14 said:

@vance_astro:

I like you Vance

Edit:

I mean I like how your opinion if you're confused. This is a confusing thread

I got it. I didn't think you liked me any other way LOL.

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laflux

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This thread was missing something

@lykopis

There. Fixed.

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The Umbra Sorcerer

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@laflux said:

Not really. Even if you think they are still guys (I don't but hey ho), liking Cis Girls would make too would make Bi-Sexual/Bi-Curious.

Bi-Sexual is gay as far as i'm concerned.

Would you mind explaining this cause it's kind of confusing me so do you consider all Bi-sexuals to be gay as in do you see Bi-sexual woman as lesbians or is it just Bi-sexual men? Not trying to start anything just wanna know? :)

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Joygirl

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#90  Edited By Joygirl

@laflux said:

This thread was missing something

@lykopis

There. Fixed.

How could you?

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vance_astro

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#91 vance_astro  Moderator

@the_umbra_sorcerer said:

Would you mind explaining this cause it's kind of confusing me so do you consider all Bi-sexuals to be gay as in do you see Bi-sexual woman as lesbians or is it just Bi-sexual men? Not trying to start anything just wanna know? :)

I think "Bi-sexual" is a pointless label. If you have sex with guys and you're a guy, you're gay, it doesn't matter if you're into chicks too. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure some people feel differently.

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The Umbra Sorcerer

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@the_umbra_sorcerer said:

Would you mind explaining this cause it's kind of confusing me so do you consider all Bi-sexuals to be gay as in do you see Bi-sexual woman as lesbians or is it just Bi-sexual men? Not trying to start anything just wanna know? :)

I think "Bi-sexual" is a pointless label. If you have sex with guys and you're a guy, you're gay, it doesn't matter if you're into chicks too. That's just my opinion though. I'm sure some people feel differently.

Yeah understand, I personally do feel differently but it's your opinion so you're entitled to it! thanks for answering my question :)

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vance_astro

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#93 vance_astro  Moderator

@the_umbra_sorcerer said:

Yeah understand, I personally do feel differently but it's your opinion so you're entitled to it! thanks for answering my question :)

No problem. Thanks for understanding.

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MyNameWasDeleted

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@vance_astro: your opinions tend to have a bit of incongruity with the actual definitions of things... I hate to be obstinate but you are clearly just ...what's the word? ..oh yes, "wrong".

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vance_astro

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#95 vance_astro  Moderator

@mynamewasdeleted said:

@vance_astro: your opinions tend to have a bit of incongruity with the actual definitions of things... I hate to be obstinate but you are clearly just ...what's the word? ..oh yes, "wrong".

I'm just calling a spade a spade.

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umbrafeline

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#96  Edited By umbrafeline

if they look like a woman, sound like a woman and think like a woman chances are that the persons either a genetic woman or a very convincing transvestite/transsexual/drag queen ill take either/or =P

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deactivated-5d2b83d5a0d79

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@vance_astro A gay person is someone who is interested in having sexual/romantic relationships with the same gender exclusively. Bi-sexuals are interested in both genders, instead of exclusively just one. That's not that hard to grasp.

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Joygirl

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@mynamewasdeleted said:

@vance_astro: your opinions tend to have a bit of incongruity with the actual definitions of things... I hate to be obstinate but you are clearly just ...what's the word? ..oh yes, "wrong".

I'm just calling a spade a spade.

Technically you're calling both spades and coal-shovels spades.

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vance_astro

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#99 vance_astro  Moderator

@farkam said:

A gay person is someone who is interested in having sexual/romantic relationships with the same gender exclusively. Bi-sexuals are interested in both genders, instead of exclusively just one. That's not that hard to grasp.

.......

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cuddles667

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@pfcoolio14: I'm bi, so I don't have to question my sexuality if a girl winds up with a little "something extra."

I've never had any experience with trans women, but there seem to be a number of relationship plusses I can't really go into on a public forum.