The Unofficial Chuck Norris Joke Thread

#1 Posted by GR2Blackout (2555 posts) - 9 months, 5 days ago - Show Bio
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
People don't ask Chuck Norris questions, Chuck Norris asks THEM questions.
#2 Edited by tmacximas (625 posts) - 9 months, 5 days ago - Show Bio
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not read books. He stares them down till they tell him what he wants to know.
#3 Posted by YourNeighborhoodComicGeek (13821 posts) - 9 months, 5 days ago - Show Bio

#4 Posted by GR2Blackout (2555 posts) - 9 months, 5 days ago - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek:

LOL!

#5 Edited by GR2Blackout (2555 posts) - 9 months, 5 days ago - Show Bio

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories

Before going to bed every night, the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, thats why theres no sings of life there

Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at McDonalds, and got one

#6 Posted by CozyDaPrynce (8471 posts) - 9 months, 5 days ago - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

I understand why nobody else is posting in this thread. This pic wins the whole thing.

#7 Posted by GR2Blackout (2555 posts) - 9 months, 4 days ago - Show Bio

Monsters go as Chuck Norris for Halloween.

#8 Posted by cyberninja (10375 posts) - 9 months, 4 days ago - Show Bio

Chuck Norris jokes suck, the end. 

#9 Posted by ChaosBlazer (3930 posts) - 9 months, 4 days ago - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: lol

@cyberninja said:

Chuck Norris jokes suck, the end.

true

#10 Posted by GR2Blackout (2555 posts) - 8 months, 20 days ago - Show Bio
#11 Posted by Ms. Omega (3557 posts) - 8 months, 20 days ago - Show Bio

When Chuck Norris falls into the ocean he doesnt get wet the ocean gets Chuck Norris.

#12 Posted by mfundo (1604 posts) - 8 months, 20 days ago - Show Bio

Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow.

#13 Posted by wildvine (3263 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris.

#14 Posted by CaioTrubat (12000 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. But after five days of excruciating pain... the cobra died.

#15 Posted by 47Taskmaster47 (312 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

When Chuck Norris left the Virgin Islands, they were just called the Islands.

Google "Where is chuck norris" then click "I'm feeling lucky"

#16 Posted by ImmortalOne (2427 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek: Darn it, you beat me to it!

#17 Posted by ImmortalOne (2427 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

Screw Chuck Norris facts... BATMAN FACTS!

Batman doesn't dress as bats to inspire fear... that's why bats dress as Batman.

#18 Posted by The Stegman (12925 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' bout.

#19 Edited by Monarch_Chronicle (539 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

There is no such thing as tornadoes, Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

#20 Posted by Samimista (12111 posts) - 8 months, 11 days ago - Show Bio

Chuck Norris skips away when he sees Samimista head towards his way.

#21 Posted by andrewtheking (960 posts) - 8 months, 9 days ago - Show Bio

#22 Posted by laflux (4859 posts) - 8 months, 9 days ago - Show Bio

@CozyDaPrynce said:

@YourNeighborhoodComicGeek said:

I understand why nobody else is posting in this thread. This pic wins the whole thing.

this has made my day

#23 Posted by UltimateHero0406 (1829 posts) - 7 months, 25 days ago - Show Bio

The reason that the flash runs so fast is because hes imagines that Chuck Norris is chasing him.

#24 Posted by cosmicallyaware1 (1211 posts) - 7 months, 25 days ago - Show Bio

If you have met a woman with crooked teeth, you have a met a woman that has given Chuck Norris a BJ.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris once got into a knife fight........the knife bled to death.

Chuck Norris played russian roulette with a loaded gun......and won.

Outer-space exists because it is afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

f you have a dollar, and Chuck Norris has a dollar........Chuck Norris ha more money than you.

Remember that movie Anaconda? It was filmed in Chuck Norris's pants.

#25 Posted by SpideyPresence (1664 posts) - 7 months, 25 days ago - Show Bio

Chuck Norris is so strong he fought Bruce Lee for a whole 2 minutes before losing.

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