For the record, I did not write this. It was sent to me by a friend. I just thought it was funny, as many of my instructors (Some of which actually work for Disney) are often going on about the hidden messages in Disney and other kids films.
Hope you guys get a laugh out of it too!
#7.
The Lion King: To Be Successful, Sometimes People Got to Die
Later, all grown up, he reclaims his thrown and Scar suffers the double whammy of falling off a cliff and getting torn apart by hyenas. So after two particularly nasty and horrendous deaths, Simba finally becomes the lion king.
The Supposed Message:
We all have responsibilities we can't ignore. And don't trust that creepy uncle.
The Actual Message:
In order for you to be successful, other people will have to pay. And ultimately, that's okay, because the ends justify the means!
Then when Simba started to grow some balls, he took back his throne... but only after Scar himself took a dirt nap. It's true that Simba didn't intentionally kill him, but you know who did? The screenwriter. After all, the movie doesn't end with Simba convincing Scar to renounce his evil ways, or putting Scar in lion jail.
In fact, Lion Jail isn't even real.
#6.
Cinderella: Sort of Like "The Secret"
One day Cinderella plans to attend a ball thrown by the prince, but the fact that she has a cutthroat b!tch for a stepmother completely slipped her mind. She is forbidden from going.
The Supposed Message:
Dreams do come true!
The Actual Message:
If you wait around long enough, the universe will practically hand stuff to you.
"Could you fix my credit score while you're at it?"
Instead she kept scrubbing floors and believing that, if she continued to wish very hard and take absolutely no action, everything would fall into place. And what do you know, the b!tch gets a f***ing kingdom out of it.
So don't worry, girls. Some kind of "Fairy Godmother" will sweep into your life at any moment, and find you a man to take care of everything. Just keep wishing!
#5.
The Little Mermaid: A Little Deal with the Devil Never Hurt Nobody
When Ariel makes it to shore, she realizes the Sea-B!tch screwed her, as her legs work with the grace of a drunken paraplegic and she can't speak. So now she must somehow make Prince Eric fall in love with her while appearing to be either mute or retarded.
The Supposed Message:
True love conquers all!
The Actual Message:
A little compromise with evil is okay, as long as everything works out okay in the end!
Ariel loved to sing, and she sang pretty damn well. But she wanted to live on shore and find love so bad that she made a "deal" with a "devil" and "sells" her beautiful voice, or "soul" so to speak.
So keep that in mind if you have to, say, sleep with some dude to get that acting role. None of that will matter once you achieve your dreams!
#4.
Beauty and the Beast: Just Because He's Abusive, Doesn't Mean He's Not a Really Good Guy
As luck would have it, there happens to be a woman out there named Belle with a heart big enough to share with unfortunate-looking people such as the Beast, and she's not too bad to look at either. When her father is kidnapped by the Beast, Belle offers herself in exchange for his freedom.
The Supposed Message:
Treat others the way you wish to be treated!
The Actual Message:
Underneath the abusive exterior of your man is a loving heart he's just dying to share with you.
First of all, Belle was a prisoner in the Beast's f***ing castle. Nothing says "I love you" like house arrest. Secondly, he wasn't exactly whispering sweet nothings in her ear. The Beast hurled insults at Belle at every chance, and came close to pimp slapping the sh!t out of her on more than one occasion.
Her patience paid off, girls, and it will for you, too! If you just stick with it and don't judge your man too harshly. Or call the cops.
#3.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame: The Ugly Dude Never Gets the Girl
Quasimodo moves into the bell tower of a cathedral and becomes the hunchback of Notre Dame. He then winds up in a love triangle with the lovely gypsy Esmeralda and the aforementioned Frollo.
When spurned by the girl, Frollo tries to burn Esmeralda at the stake. Quasimodo rescues her and, after that, the twisted, malformed freak is able to freely go out in public without people pointing and shaking their fists at the sky in reaction to God's twisted design. Quasimodo and Esmeralda get married and... oh, wait, no. She winds up with some other dude.
"The order goes: handsome guy, then the goat and then you, Quasimodo."
Don't judge a book by its cover!
The Actual Message:
Ugly guys don't get the girl, even if they're devoted and awesome. That's just how it works, sorry.
From the first moment Quasimodo laid his misshapen eyes on her, the poor dope was madly in love with Esmeralda. They seemed destined for each other. French society had given both of them the middle finger, and they both liked sticking it to Frollo.
But just as Quasimodo was starting to feel good about himself, Esmeralda meets another guy: the dashing and completely non-deformed Captain Phoebus. And who in their right mind would pass up tall, dark and handsome for short, pale and abominable?
#2.
Sleeping Beauty: If a Guy Saves Your Ass, it Belongs to Him
Suddenly, the music stops with a needle scratch and there's an awkward silence as the evil bitch makes her exit. However, a fellow party-going fairy counteracts the curse by blessing the princess, saying that the princess will instead merely fall asleep until a prince--and she means any prince--comes along and pretty much date rapes her.
"Man, if any of you were princes, I'd totally be giving it away for free, straight up. You don't even know."
The Supposed Message:
True love will conquer all!
The Actual Message:
That guy who comes along and saves you from a crisis? Marry him! He's the one!
"Let's just skip to the vows, I'm in a hurry."
You may notice that this winds up as the exact polar opposite of the Hunchback of Notre Dame lesson, taken so far in the other direction that it winds up being even more wrong. Never mind that "compatibility" stuff and the all the time it takes for most folks to find out if they have it. If you're in a tough spot and a handsome guy saves the day, you instantly belong to him. Forever and ever!
Though we guess it only works if you're not a hunchback.
#1.
The Fox and the Hound: Sometimes People Are Different, and That's Awful
Tod thinks the two will be friends forever, but over the winter Copper leaves on a hunting trip, and when he returns he's a full fledged fox-killing machine. When Tod goes to see Copper, he is attacked by Chief, Copper's mentor. Chief gets injured, and Copper makes it his mission in life to see former friend Tod meat packaged.
Eliminate on sight.
The Supposed Message:
Even though we're different, we can still get along.
The Actual Message:
And by "get along" we mean "don't kill each other." We certainly do not mean "live together." Don't be silly, you belong to different races!
But not as equals; the hound returns to his home with the humans and the fox returns to the wild.
That is how we will heal our racial and socioeconomic differences: by separating ourselves. If only we could institute some kind of "segregation" where all of us could be with our own kind, none of this unpleasantness would happen.
Thanks for showing us the way, Mr. Disney!
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