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#1 Posted by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

For a man/woman.

#2 Posted by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

"Dude, If you want a girl to behave all you have to do Is wave a 50 bill In front of her face like a doggy treat, After that she'll be house broken" XD

#3 Edited by sesquipedalophobe (4728 posts) - - Show Bio

"If a tree falls on a woman and no one's there to hear/see it, what the hell is a tree doing in the kitchen?"

#4 Posted by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

Q: Why do women like intelligent men?

A: Opposites attract.

#5 Posted by cyberninja (10413 posts) - - Show Bio

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."   - Airplane!

#6 Posted by Billy Batson (58021 posts) - - Show Bio

I thought this was the most sexiest comments you ever heard thread, lol. 

BB

#7 Posted by PushMunky (493 posts) - - Show Bio

 So, I'm sitting at the bar at a Waffle House, eating eggs & bacon. About ten feet away is a family sitting in a booth. I can hear everything they're saying, & I'll admit, after a minute, I was eavesdropping. Its a young, recently married girl, & her Mom & Dad. The girl is complaining to her parents that her new husband has a schovanist sense of humor. She says that when ever they get to bickering, he always says, "Woman, get in the kitchen & make me a sammich". So then, the girl asks her parents, "What is a good come back for when he says that?" . Her Dad looks right at her and says, "Well, ya better come back with a dadgum sammich!" . I could not help myself. I laughed out loud. Then the Mom gave her husband a stiff elbow in the ribs & he spit out his hash browns. Best breakfast I've had in a long time.

#8 Edited by The Stegman (24337 posts) - - Show Bio

i actually heard this while sweeping through the vine 
 
Q: why is it that when men are promiscuous they are praised, yet when women do it, they are thought of as sluts? 
 
A: a man is like a key and a woman a lock, a key that can open up any lock is called a "master" and is praised for its abilities, however a lock that can be opened up by any key is just a broken lock

#9 Posted by pikahyper (12116 posts) - - Show Bio
@Jake454 said:
 So, I'm sitting at the bar at a Waffle House, eating eggs & bacon. About ten feet away is a family sitting in a booth. I can hear everything they're saying, & I'll admit, after a minute, I was eavesdropping. Its a young, recently married girl, & her Mom & Dad. The girl is complaining to her parents that her new husband has a schovanist sense of humor. She says that when ever they get to bickering, he always says, "Woman, get in the kitchen & make me a sammich". So then, the girl asks her parents, "What is a good come back for when he says that?" . Her Dad looks right at her and says, "Well, ya better come back with a dadgum sammich!" . I could not help myself. I laughed out loud. Then the Mom gave her husband a stiff elbow in the ribs & he spit out his hash browns. Best breakfast I've had in a long time.
that is awesome :D
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#10 Posted by hydrabob--defunct (14860 posts) - - Show Bio
@cyberninja said:
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue."   - Airplane!
O_o Thats not sexist.
 
@The Stegman said:
i actually heard this while sweeping through the vine  Q: why is it that when men are promiscuous they are praised, yet when women do it, they are thought of as sluts?  A: a man is like a key and a woman a lock, a key that can open up any lock is called a "master" and is praised for its abilities, however a lock that can be opened up by any key is just a broken lock
lol Thats funny. Do you remember where it was?
#11 Edited by cyberninja (10413 posts) - - Show Bio
@hydrabob: There are two identical threads about the same thing, so there is no point in giving real answer. Besides there are kids in here, these kinds of threads shouldn't exist in the first place, so my post was more of a counter-troll.
#12 Posted by hydrabob--defunct (14860 posts) - - Show Bio
@cyberninja: Ok, good point.
#13 Posted by PushMunky (493 posts) - - Show Bio
@cyberninja said:
@hydrabob: There are two identical threads about the same thing, so there is no point in giving real answer. Besides there are kids in here, these kinds of threads shouldn't exist in the first place, so my post was more of a counter-troll.
Party pooper.
#14 Posted by cyberninja (10413 posts) - - Show Bio
@Jake454 said:
@cyberninja said:
@hydrabob: There are two identical threads about the same thing, so there is no point in giving real answer. Besides there are kids in here, these kinds of threads shouldn't exist in the first place, so my post was more of a counter-troll.
Party pooper.
That is me.  
 
  
#15 Posted by utotheg38 (18883 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Stegman said:

i actually heard this while sweeping through the vine Q: why is it that when men are promiscuous they are praised, yet when women do it, they are thought of as sluts? A: a man is like a key and a woman a lock, a key that can open up any lock is called a "master" and is praised for its abilities, however a lock that can be opened up by any key is just a broken lock

lol

#16 Posted by Blood1991 (8098 posts) - - Show Bio
#17 Posted by Unrealgamer58 (173 posts) - - Show Bio
#18 Posted by oraclefyre (936 posts) - - Show Bio

OMG LOL! That's just really...they could have picked a better title.....

#19 Edited by BiteMe-Fanboy (7828 posts) - - Show Bio

What do you tell a women that just got back from a battered wives meeting?

-To do the dishes if she knows whats good for her

What do you tell a women with two black eyes?

-Nothing, you already told her twice.

#20 Edited by Jezer (3129 posts) - - Show Bio

Female Friend: "You always reject my offers to cuddle..."

Other Female Friend: "You can't reject a girl!"

Me: "So, girls can say no to guys, but guys can't so no to girls?"

Other Female Friend: "Uh. Yeah."

#21 Posted by Trinity00 (2508 posts) - - Show Bio

Tits or get the f out

Get back in the kitchen

#22 Posted by Static Shock (47329 posts) - - Show Bio

If a woman is driving an expensive car, it's not hers.

Yeah.... That was pretty sexiest.

#23 Posted by HBKTimHBK (5242 posts) - - Show Bio

I hear sexism more against males then females.

#24 Posted by HolySerpent (12537 posts) - - Show Bio

Cheese

#25 Posted by Inverno (13219 posts) - - Show Bio

@HBKTimHBK said:

I hear sexism more against males then females.

Pretty much girls are allowed to have Twilight and Vampire Diaries but boys can't have something for themselves like a really hot super heroine without being called misogynistic pigs.

#26 Posted by Imagine_Man15 (1801 posts) - - Show Bio

@The Stegman said:

i actually heard this while sweeping through the vine Q: why is it that when men are promiscuous they are praised, yet when women do it, they are thought of as sluts? A: a man is like a key and a woman a lock, a key that can open up any lock is called a "master" and is praised for its abilities, however a lock that can be opened up by any key is just a broken lock

That is just amazing. Someone put way too much thought in that.

#27 Posted by ReVamp (22865 posts) - - Show Bio

@Imagine_Man15 said:

@The Stegman said:

i actually heard this while sweeping through the vine Q: why is it that when men are promiscuous they are praised, yet when women do it, they are thought of as sluts? A: a man is like a key and a woman a lock, a key that can open up any lock is called a "master" and is praised for its abilities, however a lock that can be opened up by any key is just a broken lock

That is just amazing. Someone put way too much thought in that.

...Was he/she (assuming its a he) serious?

@Static Shock said:

If a woman is driving an expensive car, it's not hers.

Yeah.... That was pretty sexiest.

That's easily one of the stupidest things I've heard.

#28 Posted by ImmortalOne (3438 posts) - - Show Bio
Online
#29 Posted by JediXMan (30587 posts) - - Show Bio

Me: "The desk has a weird green hue."

Girl: "No, it doesn't."

Me: "Yeah, it does."

Girl: "Women have a better sense of color than men. It's white."

Me: "Not all men."

Girl: "Whatever."

Random woman: "That overhead green lamp is annoying."

I laugh. She does a poor job of hiding her irritation.

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#30 Posted by Static Shock (47329 posts) - - Show Bio

@ReVamp said:

That's easily one of the stupidest things I've heard.

The sad thing about it is that there was a guy (an author that was openly misogynist) that said this. His name was Dick Masterson. He wrote a book titled 'Men Are Better Than Women.' He was on Dr. Phil. LOL.

#31 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (428 posts) - - Show Bio

@Static Shock said:

@ReVamp said:

That's easily one of the stupidest things I've heard.

The sad thing about it is that there was a guy (an author that was openly misogynist) that said this. His name was Dick Masterson. He wrote a book titled 'Men Are Better Than Women.' He was on Dr. Phil. LOL.

Dick Masterson is hilarious. He's got an active message board you can go on too. www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums

#32 Posted by ReVamp (22865 posts) - - Show Bio

@Static Shock said:

@ReVamp said:

That's easily one of the stupidest things I've heard.

The sad thing about it is that there was a guy (an author that was openly misogynist) that said this. His name was Dick Masterson. He wrote a book titled 'Men Are Better Than Women.' He was on Dr. Phil. LOL.

You see. That's not even feasible to me, because I was raised (mostly) by a single mother. I can't express how much it doesn't make sense. Its like 1+1=3. Just too wrong to even explain how wrong it is.

#33 Posted by Static Shock (47329 posts) - - Show Bio

@Living_Monstrosity said:

Dick Masterson is hilarious. He's got an active message board you can go on too. www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums

LOL. If I go there, they would ban me within the first 30 minutes.

@ReVamp said:

You see. That's not even feasible to me, because I was raised (mostly) by a single mother. I can't express how much it doesn't make sense. Its like 1+1=3. Just too wrong to even explain how wrong it is.

Exactly. You can't exactly argue with him or makes sense of what he says. He's generally trolling.

#34 Posted by ReVamp (22865 posts) - - Show Bio

@Static Shock said:

LOL. If I go there, they would ban me within the first 30 minutes.

@ReVamp said:

You see. That's not even feasible to me, because I was raised (mostly) by a single mother. I can't express how much it doesn't make sense. Its like 1+1=3. Just too wrong to even explain how wrong it is.

Exactly. You can't exactly argue with him or makes sense of what he says. He's generally trolling.

  • Yeah, you'd get banned for trolling a board of trollers. o.O. Trollception.
  • Its a petty. Truly is.

On that note, there's plenty of double standards for men nowadays, in most evolved western cultures with good economic situations. So its not ALL women.

#35 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (428 posts) - - Show Bio

@Static Shock said:

@Living_Monstrosity said:

Dick Masterson is hilarious. He's got an active message board you can go on too. www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/forums

LOL. If I go there, they would ban me within the first 30 minutes.

Actually they're very very lenient about banning. They have a ton of women who go on the boards and troll them, as well as men too, and their accounts never get locked. If you wanted to troll them or even have a serious discussion of why they're wrong you won't get banned since there's only 2 moderators and they're very lenient. I do it all the time.

#36 Posted by Vortex13 (12250 posts) - - Show Bio

"Boys are better at magic than girls"-Obviously not really the most sexist thing I've heard but if someone gets that reference I'll be so happy, and no it's not Harry Potter.

Men can't be bisexual, they can only be gay or straight, where as women can. I hear that a lot actually.

#37 Posted by Static Shock (47329 posts) - - Show Bio

@Living_Monstrosity said:

Actually they're very very lenient about banning. They have a ton of women who go on the boards and troll them, as well as men too, and their accounts never get locked. If you wanted to troll them or even have a serious discussion of why they're wrong you won't get banned since there's only 2 moderators and they're very lenient. I do it all the time.

Sounds like fun, but I'll save myself the trouble. LOL.

@ReVamp said:

On that note, there's plenty of double standards for men nowadays, in most evolved western cultures with good economic situations. So its not ALL women.

Exactly.

#38 Posted by Living_Monstrosity (428 posts) - - Show Bio

Hey guys, how are tornadoes and women alike? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave.

:P

#39 Posted by ReVamp (22865 posts) - - Show Bio

@Vortex13 said:

"Boys are better at magic than girls"-Obviously not really the most sexist thing I've heard but if someone gets that reference I'll be so happy, and no it's not Harry Potter.

Men can't be bisexual, they can only be gay or straight, where as women can. I hear that a lot actually.

I had to google it.

#40 Posted by HBKTimHBK (5242 posts) - - Show Bio

@CaioTrubat said:

@HBKTimHBK said:

I hear sexism more against males then females.

Pretty much girls are allowed to have Twilight and Vampire Diaries but boys can't have something for themselves like a really hot super heroine without being called misogynistic pigs.

It's why I flaunt around the fact that Black Widow is the best Avenger from the movie.

#41 Posted by Lady_Liberty (8279 posts) - - Show Bio

I play a lot of games, and have nerdy hobbies so I get some of the bad side of the nerd world sometimes.

Kitchen jokes are the most popular right now, but none of them really stick out in my mind.

The only thing that really annoys me is when its a game I can't shut off voice chat in, and I have to listen to it the entire time. Aside from that, its just another kind of trolling to add to the ignore lists and whatnot.

#42 Edited by Thirteen13 (415 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lady_Liberty said:

Kitchen jokes are the most popular right now, but none of them really stick out in my mind.

Must admit I've laughed at one or two kitchen/sammich jokes, but the overwhelming majority of those sorts of jokes are IMO lame, out-dated and probably being told by 13-15 virgins that have no experiences with the opposite sex to even speak of.

#43 Posted by Lady_Liberty (8279 posts) - - Show Bio

@Thirteen13: Yeah, probably so.

I guess the most sexist thing I ever had said to me was in real life, not the internet.

I use to fence in the AFL, and while I was never top rated I was solid. There was only a few other girls in my area that fenced, and only one fencing studio. The coach there was an average fencer, in his late forties to early fifties and convinced fencing was the most macho sport ever. (Its not)

At the time I was really into it, and really into fitness so I would do drills for about an hour every day, run four days a week, and go to the gym three. I was super fit, and fairly skilled considering I hadn't been fencing long compared to some people. So it didn't take long before I could beat everyone at the studio except one guy, and the coach consistently.

The problem was they were both pushing fifty, and neither of them exercised very much. One was just super fast naturally, and the coach had close to thirty years experience. So if I pressed them hard in the pools, and didn't let them rest they would run out of gas a lot sooner then I would and I could exploit the mistakes they had internalized.

Eventually I got to where I was beating my coach more often then not, and he started to override the judges saying my hits weren't good, and he got me first and stuff like that. Annoying, but whatever just win more.

Anyway once I had gone to get some water, and I came back and overheard him talking about me to some of the other guys, telling them because I was a woman I'd never be able to be a really great fencer. I'd never be fit enough, or aggressive enough and so forth.

That really ticked me off, I was fit enough that I knocked a two hundred pound guy out of the strip one time, and put a quarter sized dent in his mask with an epee. And aggression is just a choice. Decide to attack, and you attack. Its that simple.

So that pissed me off a lot, I guess.

#44 Posted by Saren (25672 posts) - - Show Bio
853rd Century sexism
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#45 Posted by JediXMan (30587 posts) - - Show Bio

@Lady_Liberty:

Wow. You fence? Nice to see another fencer.

May I just say the following:

1. Women are extremely aggressive fencers. Not all, but many. Same amount as the guys.

2. The ref was weak if the coach could sway him. Just saying.

3. For me, I wouldn't think "macho" defines the sport. I'm more likely to say classy or cordial or something along those lines.

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#46 Posted by ShootingNova (16979 posts) - - Show Bio

@JediXMan: Some women are excellent fencers, like my friend. She isn't too aggressive, but can be, and when she does, its just annoying.

#47 Posted by JediXMan (30587 posts) - - Show Bio

@ShootingNova said:

@JediXMan: Some women are excellent fencers, like my friend. She isn't too aggressive, but can be, and when she does, its just annoying.

Depends on the fencer. Though I notice Epee and Sabre fencers are more overall aggressive. Now me, I'm a foilist, so the people I'm with split right down the middle.

As for me... well I'm not a screamer like some fencers are, but I am known for being aggressive - and for hitting very hard.

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#48 Posted by ShootingNova (16979 posts) - - Show Bio

@JediXMan: LOL. I assume you to be in your mid twenties to mid thirties?

#49 Posted by GTG12 (1575 posts) - - Show Bio

Question: Why do women not wear watches?

Answer: There is a clock on the oven.

#50 Posted by JediXMan (30587 posts) - - Show Bio

@ShootingNova said:

@JediXMan: LOL. I assume you to be in your mid twenties to mid thirties?

Not telling. And before you ask him: not even Silver knows for sure.

But what makes you say that?

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