The Funny Thread

s'up people. just saw a few pages of the creepy thread (some sick stuff) and thought do we have funny thread. look it up. nope (none that i could find). so bottom line: post anything funny (jokes, pics, jokes about heroes, pics making fun of heroes etc)

i'll start (i lmao when i saw these, still mad respect for the hulk but lmao):

PS the last one just because i'm evil

bump?

I wanna say "It's been done", But I don't know

I am not amused.

http://memebase.cheezburger.com/superheroes?OnoBetaOptInRedirect=true

…

lol

• Why do kamikaze pilots where helmets?
• A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red “H” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue “Y” on her chest. “How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor. “Oh, my boyfriend goes to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green “M” on her chest. “Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor. “No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”
• A panda walks into a bar. He wants some action so he goes up to the bartender and asks which girls are easy the bartender points in the direction of one girl. They hookup and the next day she comes back and says she's a whore and asks for money, the panda looks up whore in the dictionary and sure enough he has to pay her. The panda responds,"I'm a panda i don't have to pay you." The girl looks up panda and the dictionary defines panda as "eats bush and leaves."
• Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope.

• The judge says, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court Monday."

  On Monday, the judge asks the first guy, "How did you do over the weekend?"

  "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever."

  "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. How did you do it? "

  "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs."

  "That's admirable," says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. "And how did you do?"

  "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever."

  "Wow!" says the judge. "156 people! How did you manage to do that?"

  "Well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'This is your a**hole before prison... .'"

Im not an alcoholic, i just drink socially and i'm very popular

• A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he shytes in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

• There's this guy who likes to eat chili, but it makes him fart real bad. One day near his work, his car breaks down so he calls his wife and says "I'll be late coming home" and when he goes to pick up the car after work, they tell him it won't be ready till tomorrow. He only lives a few miles from work and decides he'll walk home. As he starts to walk, he passes by his favorite diner and they have a special on chili so he figures what the hell, have some chili and walk it off on the way home. So he eats the chili and then he walks home farting all the way. When he finally gets home his wife comes to the door and says "I didn't realize you would be so late, I have a surprise for you, close your eyes and come into the living room and promise not to peak. Just as she enters the living room the phone rings and she says now don't peek and goes to answer the phone. He still has some farts left and standing there with his eyes closed, he starts letting them go. Two minutes later his wife returns and says "OK honey you can open your eyes." When he does, many of his friends and relatives are situated all around the room holding their noses and shout out surprise, it was his birthday.

@rouflex said:

What ?

?^

@consolemaster001 said:

@rouflex said:

What ?

My French is poor but contextually it's fairly obvious to figure out.

The University of Victoria in Canada offers a course in the Science of Batman.

? ^

Its a Brazilian thing :P

As for this thread: Wanna know how I escaped Iraq?

IRAN!

*pumps shotgun*
*shoots Caio in the face*

The first couple of pics were funny but then I was like wtf?

LMAO Sorry .___.