Tell me some jokes

wanna hear a joke?

"you're scared? I gotta walk out of here alone!"

@leonkarlen123: i finally understood , why someone with that much power insists on being just a headmaster of a school.

lol

@retconcrisis: Inspired from Frank :D

@jmarshmallow said:

@thecowwasdelirious said:

@jmarshmallow: y....you're joking right? jokes!

Jmarshmallow

HAH! I gotta use that one IRL!

@jmarshmallow: i'm confused. I don't know if i should laugh or be mad....

But that was probably your intention. I am forever trapped in the constructs of your comedic genius. Hail Hydra

Secretary : - Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you. 

George B. : - Good, send her in. 

Secretary : - Yessir.

(Hangs up. Condi enters.)

Condoleeza : - Good morning, Mr. President. 

George B. : - Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening? 

Condoleeza : - Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China. 

George B. : - Great, Condi. Lay it on me. 

Condoleeza : - Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China. 

George B. : - Well, that's what I want to know. 

Condoleeza : - But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President. 

George B. : - Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China? 

Condoleeza : - Yes. 

George B. : - I mean the fellow's name. 

Condoleeza : - Hu. 

George B. : - The guy in China. 

Condoleeza : - Hu. 

George B. : - The new leader of China. 

Condoleeza : - Hu. 

George B. : - The Chinaman! 

Condoleeza : - Hu is leading China, Mr. President. 

George B. : - Whaddya' asking me for? 

Condoleeza : - I'm telling you Hu is leading China. 

George B. : - Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China? 

Condoleeza : - That's the man's name. 

George B. : - That's who's name? 

Condoleeza : - Yes.

(Pause.)

George B. : - Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? 

Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. 

George B. : - Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. 

Condoleeza : - That's correct. 

George B. : - Then who is in China? 

Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. 

George B. : - Yassir is in China? 

Condoleeza : - No, sir. 

George B. : - Then who is? 

Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. 

George B. : - Yassir? 

Condoleeza : - No, sir.

(Pause. Crumples paper)

George B. : - Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone. 

Condoleeza : - Kofi Annan? 

George B. : - No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap. 

Condoleeza : - You want Kofi? 

George B. : - No. 

Condoleeza : - You don't want Kofi. 

George B. : - No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. 

Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. 

George B. : - Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations. 

Condoleeza : - Kofi? 

George B. : - Milk! Will you please make that call? 

Condoleeza : - And call who? 

George B. : - Well, who is the guy at the U.N? 

Condoleeza : - No, Hu is the guy in China. 

George B. : - Will you stay out of China?! 

Condoleeza : - Yes, sir. 

George B. : - And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. 

Condoleeza : - Kofi. 

George B. : - All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condoleeza : - Hello. Rice, here. 

George B. : - Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get chinese food in the Middle East? I don't know.

@mandarinestro:

A man walks into a bar. He looks over at the piano and sees that it's being played (quite well, I might add) a little person, only a foot tall. The man asks another guy at the bar "When did they hire the new piano player?" The guy at the bar says "Long story short, there's a genie back there that will grant any wish you ask him." So the man goes in back and meets the genie. "What is it you wish for?" the genie asks. "I wish for a million bucks." The genie snaps his fingers, and the man is surrounded by a million ducks. So the man goes back to the bar and says to the other guy, "That genie must be hard of hearing."

"I know." Said the guy at the bar. "Did you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?"

@amazingwebhead: lel

@dewin50 said:

@jmarshmallow said:

@thecowwasdelirious said:

@jmarshmallow: y....you're joking right? jokes!

Jmarshmallow

HAH! I gotta use that one IRL!

As someone who's tried it on multiple occasions, I can vouch for it almost assuredly granting you a slap in the face.

But hey, it's worth it! xD

You could have just posted this lol:

Jmarshmallow

@jmarshmallow: I copy pasted that. Didn't know they actually made a video lol.

Knock Knock