Talk about Weird: Jar Jar Binks Toy

When Mrs. Tawny Huxton opened her son Timmy's bedroom door, she was shocked to see his innocent white hiney nestled into the new 7ft Jar Jar Binks doll she had bought him for his birthday. Lately, many Americans have suffered similar incidents. Young children are being seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie. Jar Jar's soothing voice, and timid childlike manners, seem to lure young teens into a world of lustful abandon. Unsuspecting parents purchase the popular life-size doll, only to find out later that it is being used by the child as a masturbation toy. 

Under the guise of family entertainment, Lucas'  "Star Wars" prequel has contaminated America's youth with subliminal sexual innuendo. Pastor Deacon Fred of the Landover Baptist Church commented, "The demonic characteristics of the Jar Jar binks creature become obvious when one pays close attention. His forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ centered man." Experts who have examined the life-sized doll that has become the favorite 'toy' of 12-14 year old children, say that the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure. 

Members of The Landover Baptist Church are outraged at the Satanic subtlety in which marketing geniuses have moved this horrific abomination into the homes of America's youth. "One Mother was concerned that her young daughter was not interested in boys," a Pastor noted, "she asked her little girl, 'why don't you talk about the cute boys at school?' Her daughter replied, 'oh momma, nobody I know is cuter than Jar Jar Binks.' The mother was horrified."  

Landover Baptist Church finds that the only way to resolve this problem is to ban not only life sized Jar Jar Binks dolls from American homes, but to ban any life sized doll. "Any child that has seen this movie is finding that their natural attraction to members of the opposite sex is being replaced with an attraction to a 7ft devil with elephant feet, a 25 inch tongue, polka dot skin, a fish snout, and two phallic eyes that jut out like hard erotic pokers. For the Love of God! If you've got this devil in your house, remove it as soon as possible! 

   

And... This!

The Sick Mind of George Lucas!

The new Star Wars movie isn't even in theaters yet, and already George Lucas is up to his usual hijinks. Our lone Christian mole (who has been working undercover at the Skywalker Ranch in California) informed us that Lucas is planning to re-release the disgusting Jar Jar Binks candy sex tongue toy he created a few years ago in his secret laboratory. The self-contained private laboratory where Lucas performs evil experiments with miniature characters from his Star Wars films is located one mile below the surface of the earth, directly under his Skywalker Ranch. "When that pervert unleashes those demonic candies on this world again, expect a public outcry so loud that Christ in in Heaven will drop a handful of sinners He was about to toss into Hellfire to cover His ears for the noise! Glory to God!" said Pastor Deacon Fred. "We intend to stop this depraved atheist maniac before he turns everyone in America into a homosexual!" The Jar Jar Binks candy sex toys contain a 10 inch push-up tongue made of strawberry flavored candy. "The tongue is shaped like a male sex organ," reports one Pastor. "It is hard, and has a flushed red color, suggesting a youngster wrap his or her mouth around a fully aroused genital. Parents across the country are once again going to start purchasing this 'innocent' novelty for their youngsters, completely unaware of it's demonic nature."

Related Action Alerts: Click on the links for Godly details! Star Wars Masturbation Epidemic!Tiny Penis Found on Grinch Doll!Satan's New Film: Toy Story 2Potter Books Drive Children Insane!Pokemon: Pocket DemonsN'SYNC Killed My Baby!Is Dancing A Sin? Not If It's For Jesus! Click Here To Check For The Latest Alerts!

After the first Star Wars film was released, one innocent Christian mother brought the toy home for her 3 year old son. She had no idea what it was, because the demon's mouth was closed when she purchased it. She turned her head for an instant and when she looked back and saw her young son sucking on Jar Jar's tongue, she fainted on the spot. It took a team of four paramedics to bring her round. The boy was punished, and the candy destroyed.

"This toy was created for one purpose, and one purpose alone!" says Pastor Deacon Fred, "That is to train a generation of children in the ways of carnality! One need only glance at the toy to see it's true intent! If you can't see it, then you are just as perverted as this so-called director, George Lucas, who is really nothing more than a mad-scientist! As an institution ordained by God it is our responsibility to expose this Christian Nation to the absolute truth!"

As we intend to do with the release of each Star Wars film, we ask you to please use the list below to contact National toy stores, and toy distributors. Tell them that you will no longer shop in their sickening, disgusting, perverted stores until the abomination is removed from the shelves! Tell them they have push-up candy sex tongues for sale and you won't shop there until they take them off the shelves! 
 

   

" That's disgusting. Why would anyone want to suck Jar Jars tounge? "

Posted on January 8, 2010 by Felix Larocca

Abstract:

Hoping to shield PARENTS Their Children from Sex by Giving Them Stereotypes gender-neutral toys May Be fighting a losing battle, if Their Offspring Are Especially boys.

Read and find out why it is so ...

It seems likely that the hormones received by the baby before birth and well within the first few months of his life, dictate the kinds of toys that appeal to men.

By the age of three years, males and females exhibit differences in their games, say some researchers.

Males are more attracted to balls, vehicles and building sets than females, and tend to prefer the game in groups, while females are inclined to play with a few companions.

To what extent these differences are biologically programmed, rather than a result of environmental pressures is a hotly debated issue.

Recent research suggests that exposure to different levels of hormones in the womb can make a difference in the preferences have both male and female, will later by toys that are considered 'masculine'.

No one before had investigated whether the waves of testosterone and estrogen that both sexes experience in the first months of life, can affect behavior.

To investigate the effects of these surges of hormones in the game, a group of researchers used instruments to measure interest in certain activities in 21 male and 20 female children between the ages of 3 and 4 months old.

Scientists conducting the test, they measured levels of estrogen in saliva of females and testosterone in men, while comparing the length of their index and ring fingers, a guide to prenatal exposure to testosterone.

Men with greater exposure to testosterone showed a pronounced preference for male-type toys, as it was a ball.

For its part, the behavior of the females did not seem affected by current levels of prenatal hormones.

While men were affected by both hormones in different ways.

Those who had been exposed to higher levels of testosterone showed a strong preference for the balls of the wrists.

The research was reported in the journal  Hormones and Behavior  .

The children were too young to be interviewed about their behavior, but researchers, members of  A & T University  , are pleased to have contributed 'significantly' to explain the reasons why there are differences in preferences for games between the sexes, even at a very early age.

They hope that these findings will stimulate further research related to their own.

In summary

Occasionally, we present to our visitors, who are immersed in the vicissitudes of academic life, what other researchers are to advance the progress of science, if nothing else.

Image

Xy curiosity.