This is an incredibly off topic blog but i figured this would be the best place for me to ask this question since it's safe to assume we all have our geekdom in common. I'll be sure to make this one short and sweet if possible.
So anyway here it goes, probably the only downside that comes with being a geek is that it definitely isn't on the college girl's most i sought after characteristic in a guy, especially when a guy like myself is so heavily invested in comic books, film and writing. I am in no way ashamed of that either, i am happy with who i am and am not willing to compromise myself to fit in with the college crowds (though it does help that i have a really tight group of friends back at home but that is besides the point). But in spite of all of that i continuously have trouble when it comes with women.
It's not that i can't talk to them either, i can usually talk to them without any serious problems but as soon as i like one everything that can seem to go wrong usually does happen and it's really been bugging me that two years into college there hasn't been one girl that would be willing to go out with me for anything much less a date.
So i figured i'd ask the wonderful people of comic vine if you have any advice to point a hopeless romantic/comic geek from cincy on the right track to help me out with this little problem of my mine.
Not trying to make this a sob story, i'm just mainly looking for some good advice for a college kid who has no clue what he's doing lol.
Thanks for listening guys!
Some Advice Please?
good luck buddy
I think... there is nothing particularly wrong with expanding your interests perhaps? Is that something that is feasible? A writing (different to whatever writing your doing) or art class? Life drawing? Something musical? Sporty? Foreign language? Volunteer work? Environment, animals? Poetry? Just something that means your opening yourself up to and for experiencing different groups of people? (plus something you can also enjoy sincerely) Don't trade away your confidence in being secure in knowing what you like and not wishing to compromise by doing that whole conformity thing, Plus sticking out is good.
I think if you have good friends at home, that's like a bonus? I mean, you don't really have to fear or care about being turned down? I mean a little bit still, but shrugging and smiling and trying again can't hurt can it?
Good luck in any case.
Avoid dating. However, a clever wardrobe and reserving yourself never hurts. Carry a lighter in case a girl smokes.
That is a good point, though i don't think i've had the luck of finding a girl my age around my favorite places. though i think that plays into my general bad luck in this field. but that's probably just me overthinking things. thanks for the advice man
Here is my best advice:
You become an "actor" You play a character who is confident, out going, and funny. Clean shaven, well groomed, and in shape (work on this if you need)
You put on this "mask" and forget bars and clubs. Find girls with similar friends. Make connections that way with people who can vouch that you are a good guy. Make friends with girls.....don't worry about finding a GF just make connections.
Coming at this from the opposite side of the aisle, I can say that I wouldn't want to be a guy as it seems like so much pressure to be the one that has to try to find the right girl and then ask her out. It assumes that you have an absolute idea of what is best for you without having the experience to back it up. That having been said there are girls out there who are in the same situation except they feel as though they are powerless as they cannot be the ones doing the asking. I think SC has the best concept here, exapnding your interests and giving yourself more depth while exposing yourself to more people. Having more interests doesn't have to mean having to give up on your old ones. For instance a study of fabricated fictional languages would expose you to a bunch of linguists, and most are not concerned if you are studying ancient Greek or Na'vi. This can be applied to lots of stuff, a love of sci-fi can be transferred to astronomy, martial arts movies transfers to taking martial arts classes. Also take some solace in the fact that there is a girl out there for you though, because really there is. jsut don't abandon who you are and be confident in that.
This might be a silly question but i haven't noticed it in your post. Have you actually asked a girl out or just trying to be friends and get a date this way?
When me and my fiance met I told her she had to answer and important question before we continued dating. "Marvel or DC?". She answered correctly lol.
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