I thought I'd post this to sum up my thoughts of Trick R' Treat in a shorter way
Look...I'm no stranger to unpopular opinions. I'm no stranger for CONTROVERSIAL unpopular opinions. That being said, when I hate a movie everybody else likes, I VERY rarely say it's one of the worst movies ever made...Trick R' Treat is one of those rare exceptions. I really, REALLY hated this movie...I really, really, REALLY hated it. I hated the idea that there were writers and directors out there who thought this passed as a "horror comedy", I hated that it so easily garnered a following despite doing nothing new. And worse than that, I didn't EXPECT to hate it. SO many people told me how amazing this movie was, how clever and creative it was, and as a horror comedy fan, I was excited to see this! And not only was it bad, it was PAINFULLY bad, MEMORABLY bad, the kind of bad that makes you angry when you watch a new bad horror movie because you are afraid they got an idea from this abomination. It doesn't just insult your intelligence; it attacks it like a juiced up Jason Voorhees carrying an adamantium machete.
For those of you who don't know, Trick R' Treat is a 2005 horror anthology film from Bryan Singer, centered around the events of Halloween and following four different Horror short stories. Kind of like Creepshow only...No, no it would be beyond insulting to compare this dreck to Creepshow. Romero and King, please forgive me. So, what is so bad about Trick R' Treat? Let me explain why;
Let's start with Trick R' Treat's biggest problem; it is cruel and mean spirited for no purpose or reason. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it's mean spirited movies. Actually I take that back...It's mean spirited movies that are cruel for the sake of being cruel. When a movie is mean spirited in order to tell a greater message or to garner sympathy from the viewer, it can be done QUITE well (The Devil's Rejects, Elijah Wood's Maniac and Batman TAS: Mad Love did this very, VERY well) Trick R' Treat doesn't do this. Almost every joke in this movie is told at the expense of a (Usually innocent) person's suffering and gruesome death, and not in a charming The Three Stooges kind of way, in a disturbing, unsettling way that makes you question the writers ethics. There is not a single likable character in this movie, and every character that comes close to being likable is either A) Immediately killed in sake of the film's insipid and cruel sense of 'humor' or B) Turned into a psychopathic monster in about a minute without any development or sympathy. If I can't find a SINGLE character to sympathize with or even tolerate, what's the point of watching? (Though to be fair, I stopped after the 1 hour mark after my first watch, I needed to watch a second time in order to finish)
One of the most important qualities of the anthology film is for it to throw you off balance. It doesn't need to pull a Sixth Sense or anything, but the better anthology films have at least 1 or 2 decent twists that you didn't see coming. I have literally seen 2nd grade short stories less predictable than the stories in Trick R' Treat. Hell, I probably WROTE less predictable stories in 2nd grade than Trick R' Treat. Of COURSE, the old myth about the mentally handicapped demonic possessed zombies (Remember what I said about mean spirited?) is real. OF COURSE, the mousy girl dressed as Red Riding Hood is a werewolf. OF COURSE, the serial killer is passing killing on to his son. Uwe Boll has written more creative and unpredictable stories than this. (Okay, Rampage wasn't that bad)
What else sucks in this movie except for...I don't know EVERYTHING? Well, Trick R' Treat is also plagued by terrible acting, including the worst, most wooden performance of Anna Paquin's ENTIRE career (When she delivers the awful stinger "What big eyes you have?" I literally cringed), countless plot holes (So the killer has trouble moving a fully grown woman's body due to lack of strength, yet has ENOUGH strength to impale and decapitate her?) an overuse of tasteless gore and nudity to distract the horny, moronic teenagers it's advertising to from realizing they are watching brain melting junk...Oh God, I think I have to stop there.
Trick R' Treat isn't just bad...It's really bad. It's one of the worst cinematic experiences I have ever been through. Trick R' Treat is the cinematic equivalent of having your biggest crush invite you over for a party, arriving at the party, finding out your high school bully is dating that crush, and then being stripped and savagely beaten by that bully with a crowbar for about 1 hour and 30 minutes while the whole incident is being video taped, posted on the internet, and praised by your friends, favorite critics and colleagues. Stay away!
Final Verdict:
F-
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