#1 Posted by Lone_Wolf_and_Cub (6125 posts) - - Show Bio

Exactly what the title says. What things has your father said to you growing up that just seems ridiculous? I'll start with a few gems from my dad. "You have champagne dreams with beer money", "You want something to cry about?! I'll give you something to cry about!", "Does it look like I'm made of money?", "Just because you got hit in the head with a bat doesn't mean you have to go to the hospital, now go sleep it off", "Son, I brought you into this world and I'll take you out of it", "Forget about her she was out of your league anyway".

#2 Posted by TheSpiritStalker (2392 posts) - - Show Bio

MOVE, YOU'RE BLOCKING THE TV!

#3 Posted by THEOCITYLEGEND (1474 posts) - - Show Bio

I am gaming on my PC. My dad walks into the room and says "Ah, I see you are having fun wasting your life."

#4 Posted by lilben42 (2689 posts) - - Show Bio

"I told you not to follow me! Next time when I leave you in the store you stay in the store!"

#5 Edited by Joygirl (20851 posts) - - Show Bio

"I don't care about you and I'm going to abandon you at birth." Oh, wait, I don't think he actually said that....

#6 Edited by laflux (20647 posts) - - Show Bio
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#8 Posted by laflux (20647 posts) - - Show Bio

@theacidskull: That statement refers to myself, and was said in jest......

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#10 Posted by INLIFE (1614 posts) - - Show Bio

"Son, if you get a girlfriend, then I am leaving you alone when she causes problems and the police come after she accuses you of raping her."

Never had a girlfriend, still don't.

#11 Posted by LimpoyzLoan (1692 posts) - - Show Bio

"Your face, fatty!"

He says this on a regular basis as an inside joke.

#13 Edited by laflux (20647 posts) - - Show Bio

@theacidskull: No worries. I just troll you sometime as payback >:D

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#15 Posted by TheIncredibleSuperHulk8642 (2455 posts) - - Show Bio

After Getting a Girlfriend. "Good Job Son."

After being in a fight and losing. "I should kick you're ass."

After being in a fight and winning. "I am so proud of you."

After Crying. " you want to cry oh I'll give you something to cry about."

When we're just hanging around. Let the Wrestling match commence (between me and my Dad.)

When my Parents Separated. "I want us to be a family again whether it's me you you're brother and you're mother or someone other than you're mother I just want us to be a family again."

Inspirational Quote. "never throw the first punch but alway's throw the last."

Inspirational Quote #2. " If you walk with you're heart out on you're sleeve don't be suprised if it get's broken."

Hardcore Guy Quote. "Women can be real Bitches sometimes."

Famous Last Words. "I love you son."

My Dad and I Joke around way too much though lol.

#16 Posted by laflux (20647 posts) - - Show Bio

@theacidskull: Your being way to hard on yourself man. We all make mistakes. Don't worry about it :)

*hugs*

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#18 Posted by CHUCKY47 (271 posts) - - Show Bio

Not my dad but my grandad oh Joseph you will never ever be as good and as intelligent as me: he's serious about that trust me

#19 Posted by InnerVenom123 (29813 posts) - - Show Bio

[Nothing for the past 6 years.]

#20 Edited by Lone_Wolf_and_Cub (6125 posts) - - Show Bio

Here's another one which still makes no sense to me, "Quit your f@cking assgrabbing". SMH at my dad.

#21 Posted by TheAuroraChild (86 posts) - - Show Bio

"Everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day. So what have you done with your day?" He's always trying to remind me that life's a competition.

#22 Posted by Dabee (2421 posts) - - Show Bio

Oh, I thought this was about the show with William Shatner. I liked that show. Pretty unfortunate that it's not on anymore. :-/

#23 Posted by TheFirstLantern (1544 posts) - - Show Bio

My father once said, "Hot Women are B!tches" I disagree.

#24 Posted by amalgamuniverse (356 posts) - - Show Bio

"Freddie Mercury was a great musical artist......but, he was a homosexual."

#25 Edited by Dark_Vengeance_ (15329 posts) - - Show Bio

"I can destroy you in PC shooters but not in console shooters"~ My dad on gaming

"It was stupid how his suit fell off when the truck hit him. Iron man was stronger than that on the first movie! They are ruining the franchise".~ My dad on Iron man 3 (he thought the plot was crap, but the effects and RDJ's acting were still good)

"Eh, I didn't like it. Breaking Bad is still better".~ My dad on the walking dead tv show

"How do I put the guns and car cheat code again? I need to run away from the cops".~ My dad on GTA IV.

"He's one of the best characters in the show". My dad on Tyrion.

(These are legit quotes from my dad, no bull)

#26 Posted by GodTriggerHulk (2084 posts) - - Show Bio

"I'm so proud of your hard work."

#27 Posted by russellmania77 (16749 posts) - - Show Bio

"i make more money than your mom"

#28 Posted by ULTRAstarkiller (7608 posts) - - Show Bio

After platfighting Your to soft, I thought you were Batman, You wouldn't last a second with Captain Canada " America dad" Whack

After wrestling Told you boy Im Hulk, Stop yelling before your mom comes in here, " I finally get him haha what now Superman is stronger than Hulk" flips me over no matter how prepared I am

He sees a girl a my school you know her hey you know her, me "no dad" I don't know where you got that from I never not talk to a pretty girl when I was your age

At my sisters school watching a game. My sisters teacher " the cheerleaders are pretty good huh" my dad I don't like looking at little girls girls dancing around like they fass, my sisters teacher looks super embarrassed about himself.

Lmao

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#29 Edited by INLIFE (1614 posts) - - Show Bio

"Sex is just putting your thing in her hole."

That's the "talk" that I had with my father.

#30 Posted by judasnixon (8520 posts) - - Show Bio

"Never light three cigarettes with one match" I got that tattooed on my ribs when he died.......

#31 Edited by GrandSymbiote94 (12043 posts) - - Show Bio

......

#32 Posted by Vortex13 (12138 posts) - - Show Bio

"In college I knew a guy who was high on weed, just weed, and he tried to bite off a nurses finger. Flash forward about 3 years after college and I have the C.I.A. on my doorstep asking about the guy's past since he is being evaluated as a potential recruit." (I say did you tell them the truth) "of course, it's not like they cared if he had or not. Just wanted to know things that could be used against him in the future."

A true story my dad told me. Here's another,

"The drinking age changed while we were in college. A friend was turning twenty-one so we thought it would be a great idea to instead of twenty-one candles we use twenty-one shot glasses with Bacardi 450 rum with the tops on fire. When he went to blow them out the rum spread out everywhere catching the curtains on fire. We got the fire out luckily but it was pretty scary at the time."

Now a quote, "You need condoms to deal with health insurance companies since they will always try to screw you over."

The man has an IQ around 170. Freaking love my dad lol.

#33 Posted by Aronmorales (9726 posts) - - Show Bio

"You want I should smack you?" - Spoken in regards to a work day where I was flustered and not thinking clearly.

"Did YOU just tell me to 'calm down'?!" - Since then I haven't.

Then there was that wonderful time when after my first girlfriend left my house he responded to the dopey, love-struck grin on my face with a little melody that went something like "Blue balls...Blue balls!"

During a supposed bedbug infestation not long after putting something from the wall onto the floor: "Great, you left that on the floor and now it's infected".

#34 Edited by CHUCKY47 (271 posts) - - Show Bio

sh!t is right

#35 Posted by cameron83 (7817 posts) - - Show Bio

um......hm.

#36 Posted by Xwraith (25745 posts) - - Show Bio

I wasn't even two years old when it happened, so I don't remember it, but I'm told when the Star Trek: TNG episode "Darmok" first aired, my dad kept saying "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" for weeks.

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#37 Edited by Joygirl (20851 posts) - - Show Bio
#39 Edited by laflux (20647 posts) - - Show Bio
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#41 Posted by The Stegman (29094 posts) - - Show Bio

"I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes...I'll be back."

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#42 Posted by Lone_Wolf_and_Cub (6125 posts) - - Show Bio

Bump

#43 Posted by Nefarious (28036 posts) - - Show Bio

"You have hair around your testicles. My son has become a man at last!"

#44 Posted by King Saturn (218445 posts) - - Show Bio

"So you are dating White Girls now"

#45 Posted by ImNemotheGemini (874 posts) - - Show Bio

Dad- "Are you a virgin ?" Me- "nope" Dad-" you use condoms ?" Me- Yeah I do" Dad-" where you get me from ?" Me-" Walgreens up the street !" Dad-" Well atleast you got sense enough to wrap yah pipe.. These girls rusty !" Me= DEAD ! Lmao