This morning in Whatville, Whyoming police attempted to arrest a young man who was breaking the law. The young man resisted the officer's attempts at making an arrest, allegedly screaming, "I dundu nuffin" repeatedly.
A struggle ensued and a civilian caught it on tape.
Just 30 seconds after the tape begins you can see the young man reach into his pocket for something and the officer draws his weapon. The reason for drawing his weapon is unknown.
Mere moments later the young man pulls out a harmless cellphone all while the officer, becoming more aggressive by the moment,barks orders to the young man to get down on the ground and put his hands where the officer can see them.
Still, the young man continues to disobey the officer. At this point, you can hear the young man clearly state that he, "dundu nuffin".
The officer barks an order to stop, all still with his gun drawn and aimed at this hapless young man.
The young man then goes into his pocket again,this time pulling out a ninja star and a pair of contractable nunchucks. The officer turns violent and cocks his gun.
"If you continue down this paty, I will shoot you." The young man, who we later found out was a mma fighter from north korea, begins a fabulous mesmerizing routine involving the ninja star and the nunchucks as he slowly moves towards the officer. At this point in the video, the officer, a Chad Barrington, becomes something like a man possessed by by a blood thirsty demon of some such; yelling such expletives that we can't print them here.
As you can see at the 3:45 mark on the video, this petty crime incident turns deadly, when offer Barrington fires 3 shots at point blank range at the young man we would come to know was named Michael Laquan.
Michael had just received a full ride scholarship to Vatterot technical school. He was going to be a mechanic; a true public servant. That dream will never comet true.
Remarkably, no arrest has been made and, as you may expect, the District Attorneys office says they have no intent to prosecute Officer Barrington. In a memo sent to The Daily Huh?, they stated, "...are you guys serious? We absolutely have no intention of levying any charges against Officer Barrington. Why is this even a question?"
We looked into this Officer Barrington' past. As it turns out this isn't his first violent incident. He bit a young boy on the arm for hogging the Legos, says his kindergarten teacher Mrs. Meyer, who me we interviewed at Sunset Hills retirement home.
This event has rippled violently through the community. Already, thousands upon thousands of youths have taken to the streets, bravely confronting officers armed emergency workers and privileged whites.
"We are here to pray that the white man unlearn his natural violent and rapacious tendencies..." said the good reverend Al Sharpton. It's still unclear how he got here so fast.
Of course, as with all peaceful protests, a few hundred bad eggs have been tipping over cars and setting buildings buildings on fire. Even now, the office in which I type this burns with the flames of justice and oppression.
We here at The Daily Huh? Ask that the violence stops, but hope the protests continue.
-Sammy Jo Warwick
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