Personal Matters Thread

So, this is the place where anyone around this website is able to share any person matters, if you're into sharing some troubles and getting them off of your chest, if you'd like some help from someone, anything. We're all like brothers and sisters here, so it'd be appreciated if everyone here is respectful to one another. So, bullying someone about their issues is basically Cyber Bullying! So, um... yeah... here's mine:

Something bothering me lots, I'd like to start being myself, around my family, and around the people I know. It's been countless years... I'm not myself, I'm not being the person I am. I'd like to change that, I'd like to be myself, to talk like I'd like to talk, to be myself, inside, I'm an outgoing sort of guy, I like getting to know people, I like sharing things about myself with other people, BUT for some years, I don't do that because I'm not myself. I'd like to be myself, I'd like to change that, I'd like to be myself around my family and my friends.

BUT it's sadly so hard because the people who know me around set a standard and a bar of who I recognise me as, if I try being myself, they'll think it's not me and that I'm being an entirely other person. Does anyone understand? I'm not sure what to do about it, I'd like being myself, I'd like being how I'd like to be, then in doing that... I'd be a 90% different person in everyone else's eyes. So, what should I do about it, and does anyone understand what I'm trying to say? The one and only time I'm myself is when I'm on the internet, which says something.

- TAS

I have a problem with procrastination. No matter how much homework I need to get done or how easy it is to do, I always put it off until the last minute. Sometimes I end up doing it when the class starts. I know it's a terrible habit, and I can't keep going on like this, but I just don't know how to stop.

Oh, I understand this. If you'd like, you could always set a loose schedule. Don't make the schedule to tight, but be sure to, say, do homework from 6PM-7PM, if that's alright. Otherwise, it's best to get homework out of the way so you can enjoy your day without burden.

- TAS

I am the biggest procrastinator in the history of procrastination. It's a sickness for me. I feel you.

~MiB

Getting over a guilt-ridden past is for starters. Even if my friend or a family member tells me they forgive me, it will take years for me to get over it.

You guys aren't gonna believe this, but i'm alittle bit naive.

Beata

Good idea, thanks :D

That happens, I guess it's something that should be changed, but it also tells me you are a nice guy who feels bad for offending people, which is a good quality. Don't be too hard on yourself, I know this may sound cliche, but nobody's perfect. When I was younger, I was hard on myself, I was a boy scout, haha, and would shun myself for swearing, till I understood that doing bad things doesn't make you a bad person. We make mistakes to learn from them, take these things as lessons :)

- TAS

Care to elaborate?

- TAS

Glad I could be of help! If there's anything else, feel free to share.

- TAS

For 25 years I've had to suffer trying to keep the need of killing someone to death at bay.

Sorry to hear, maybe surround yourself with more positive emotions and thoughts. Think about the good in things instead of the negative. Is this a severe emotion?

- TAS

It has nothing to do with emotion it's just for entertainment.

Oh, well, it's good to know it's nothing too serious, but... um... don't kill anyone while I'm gone. XD.

- TAS

@theamazingspidey: Cool thread dude.

Thanks, hope it'll come to use :)

- TAS

I'm depressed, my other problems are insignificant compared with this.

I'm so, so sorry to hear this! Wish I could do something to help, but depression is a touchy subject, hope you can look in all the positive instead of the negative and that things get better, XD.

- TAS

I always blame myself for terrible things happening

@theamazingspidey: Thanks.

I think I can relate to your situation as well. Being yourself is a process, and I used to think it as a load of crap back in school. But now that I'm in college, I regret all those years of wearing a mask. I thought I could be happy if I was someone else, but that's not true because happiness is a choice :)

I'm pretty sure you're not the cause of those terrible things, so don't stress it, man.

- TAS

I don't remember how to socialize. I don't like where I'm at. I'm sad and tired and not myself anymore. I miss a girl who doesn't miss me.

TAS then becomes the therapist for the vine

Haha. Well for now I'm more liberated than Rome after Ezio.

I thought I already was!

- TAS

Besides the thing with the girl, I can relate to this. Be yourself, if that's what's bothering you - if people don't like you for who you are, they weren't good friends in first place. Be open to trying out new things, get out of your comfort zone, you'll be surprised on where you could end up if you try new things.

- TAS

This could be the next big thing

@theamazingspidey: Thanks for the advice and for the thread, man. I'll try and make tomorrow a new day!

Hey, man, that's what I'm here for! Take opportunities. For example, I'm usually a stay at home kind of guy who plays PlayStation all day, haha, but today I woke up at, like, 8:30AM and asked my dad if we could go out for breakfast, to do something different, and I ended up loving it. Good luck, glad I could help!

- TAS

Hope it will be :D

- TAS

Talking to people helps a lot, thank you :)

No need to thank me, you helped a lot too! XD

- TAS

@theamazingspidey: I've been depressed for close to 5 months now, well I realized I was depressed, but it probably started a year ago. It's a weird feeling, one day you'll feel really sadly, another day you just feel so numb that a truck could run you over and you wouldn't feel it. I think I have GAD, which I get anxiety of things that don't call for it.

This is sad to hear, but sometimes... setting some long term goals are what can keep you going, something to keep you going, something to motivate you into moving forward. If you'd like to be whatever you'd like to be when you're older, what you'd like to do for a living, that should be your motivation. Things like that are what keep a person going. Maybe surround yourself with positive sources, family and friends who you can trust. If there's things that make you even remotely happy, go for it and keep on doing those things. Your personal emotions and well being come before your responsibilities. If you feel, for example, there's too much work which is weighing you down, don't forgot that your personal emotions come before whatever else you might have, meaning your wellbeing should matter to you the most.

- TAS

So, I understand things more and my problems are becoming less and less harder, it isn't weighing me down like it used to. I should start being myself without caring about thoughts of other people - so long as I'm being myself, so long as I'm being the person I'd like to be, then that's good. I like to think of myself as a considerate guy, that's the kind of person I'd like to be, the sort of guy who cares about others, a kind of guy who makes small chat with my family members, asks my father or mother whether there's anything I can help with, talk to people in school who are lonely. I also like to play lots of games, but also study hard, be respectful to my mother and father, I like listening to music at school... that's the things I'd like to do. Like a good friend told me, I should be sincere, I shouldn't try to hard.

This is all about being myself, so I should be genuine, I shouldn't say things like it's some sort of performance, I should go with the flow, be myself, then I'm sure it'll turn out right soon enough. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about my change, whether it's my mother, or my father, or my siblings. The change shouldn't come to fast, it should go step by step, another thing a good friend shared with me. I know I should've started earlier, but I don't care for negativity. Thanks for all the help on PMs and all the gifs of encouragement!

- TAS

@theamazingspidey: It's my future goals that keep me going :D

And that I love nature and life :)

@ccraft: That's the thing, future goals are always key to encouragement and motivation!

- TAS

@theamazingspidey: I want to learn gardening, it would be nice to have a personally garden in my backyard :D

That sounds interesting! I'd say go for it, got any leads on where you can learn?

- TAS

@theamazingspidey: Nope :(

Well my landlord knows about gardening, but I think maybe there's a class in college I could take. Like they have independent classes like for photography, woodworking, and painting. I'm also interested in taking those 3 classes.

@ccraft: If you're not too busy, pursue that goal, could be something. Maybe you could learn something from the landlord!

- TAS

@theamazingspidey: I would have to wait til spring time, which is too long D:

I really need to start reading articles about gardening :)

@ccraft: Best of luck with that! If only I could help, but I don't know a thing about it, so I suppose I would only slow you down, lol.

- TAS

This is kind of you. ^^

@amazingwebhead: I'm not alone!

I'm having a bit of drinking problem nowadays

Why, thank you!

- TAS

Find another outlet which helps you express whatever it is your emotions are. Consult a therapist (or consult TheAmazingSpidey). If you're a happy drinker, there are other things which you can use to express happiness, if you're a sad drinker, there are other things which you can use to deal with sadness. A healthy support system is critical, both professional and personal. I hate to sound like some sort of councillor, but go for it. Once you're able to put down the drink down once, it'll be much more easier to do it again and again. Instead of sharing your emotions with a bottle, share it with a friend.

(I'm sorry if you weren't talking about alcohol, but that's how I interpreted it, I apologise for any possible confusion)

- TAS

It`s my personal matter, I wont tell you.

This thread is actually pretty useful.

That's totally fine, everyone's different, I guess, some people think it best to personally deal with troubles.

- TAS

Glad it is ^__^

- TAS

I asked a girl out and she said no.

That's all I got.

@hylian: Single is always better. I had a bit of a relationship with a girl in 10th Grade and it sucked.

@racob7: Oh, any reason in specific she said no?

- TAS