My God, this guy must be the underrated badass ever!

Let me tell you a story about a military general named Subutai. Or rather I'll let Cracked tell you:

The Big General: Subutai

If the goal of war is to conquer land, then Subutai "the Brave" is the single most successful general in history.

If the goal of war is to grow fantastic facial hair, the most successful general is Ambrose Burnside.
As a teenager from a modest background he signed up with Genghis Khan simply because it seemed like something cool for him and his older brother to do that afternoon. It turned out he was really, really good at it. By the time he was done, his army would conquer 32 nations, win 65 major battles and overrun more territory than any other commander in history. He is also the only person to conquer Russia.
Armed with Chinese technology, a vast spy network, and the best army any nation would see until WWII, Subutai led the invasion of Persia before marching west and coming this close to making all of us part-Mongol. Once Genghis died, his successor Ogedei Khan immediately dispatched Subutai to ride west until he hit the Atlantic Ocean. At that point Subutai's cavalry could cross 270 miles of Eastern European snow, sleet, and ice--in the dead of winter--in only three days, and the Mongolian spy network stretched as far as England.

Oh yeah, lots to spy on there.
Once, in 1241, Subutai destroyed the entire armies of Poland and Hungary in two separate battles, in two different countries more than 200 miles apart, on enemy territory, on consecutive days. During the Hungarian battle, Subutai devised a strategy that would lead to the slaughter 40,000 enemy soldiers, while losing less than 1,000 of his own.
And he did all of it while looking like this:

Subatai was Genghis Khan's Lieutenant, so Genghis tends to get the popular credit for Subatai's work, in effect. Still Subatai was probably the most gifted tactical and strategic mind in history. He would probably have wiped the floor with the Romans given equivalent conditions. The Romans were gifted with an almost perfectly built infantry force, but their cavalry was built by dint of birth and personal wealth, as opposed to merit. This made the roman cavalry a weak link in an otherwise awesome war machine. Similarly their commanders were often aristocrats, decided by birth not merit and their duties were basically those of feudal lords and judges as opposed to out and out military commanders. While some were incredibly talented, many were not but won anyway based almost entirely on how good the Roman Legions were in comparison to other troops.

Subatai was such a genius he could probably find a way around the might of the Roman infantry and field weapons, and if he did he's ruin them.

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