Posted by Joygirl (19962 posts) - - Show Bio

Contains spoilers.

Poor Deathstroke, jobbing to Ra's like that.

When did Damian Wayne become Yoda?

I think Batman has a cleavage fetish. Both of his "great loves" have huge tits and unzipped catsuits. Not that I'm complaining.

Sweet, Killer Croc being badass.

Who's the hot punk teen and when is she coming to canon? Apparently she's 13 so... um, this is awkward.

Yup, I get it, Damian's the bestest at lots of stuff.

Why is Man-Bat a monkey?

Hookers! Dibs on the one with pink hair.

When did Sagat and Bronze Tiger f*** and have Ubu?

Alfred's the best part of this so far.

Yes, we get it, Robin's classic costume is super gay. We get it. Everyone gets it.

Batman: "GETTIN' REAL SICK OF YOUR S*** DAMIAN."

Oh hey Nightwing. Kewl.

Damian you stupid f***.

Oh okay, hot punk is Langstrom's daughter. That'll make family dinners weird.

MAN-BAT ARMY? Nuhhh.

"No swords. Use these bladed darts instead, way more humane."

Since when is wood Slippery When Wet?

My patience for Damian's slasher grin is wearing thin.

Starring Nightwing as "Sir-Not-Appearing-In-This-Film"

"You're sure?" "I'm sure. Two mountains side by side couldn't possibly be anything else."

Talia in bondage *fapfapfapfapfap*

Fridge Logic: Why didn't they actually make helping Ra's into the Pits a priority? He almost made it himself, with even a tiny amount of help he would have made it.

Batman is officially an elf. He gets a free Search check when passing by a secret door. That just happened and I cannot be convinced that he isn't an elf.

When does Rebecca Langstrom get naked? That needs to happen. INTERNET MAKE IT HAPPEN. Pure thoughts.

Why is Batman so skinny? Making up for how buff everyone was in Flashpoint Paradox?

Also Bruce's jaw is too narrow. Where's the Bat-jaw?

Starring Curt Connors as Dr. Langstrom

Since when does Batman attend to Bat-Business in Bruce Wayne getup? Isn't he way too paranoid for that?

Why does Damian covet the uniform so much if he thinks it's gay as f***?

When did the Robin outfit get a hood? Did Damian sew it himself?

Why isn't Ubu recovering? He just got his ass beat, 12-year-olds endure worse beatings on a daily basis and don't go comatose from them.

Judging from his suddenly cool-ass boots, Damian DID sew the new costume himself. Unless Bruce has a "Bat-Individual-Robin-Costume-Creating Machine"

"It's a kid, get him!" -- Whaaaa?

I dive into endless chutes all the time. Who cares where they go? I'll probably be fine. /sarcasm

"Don't you dare dip my mother into that life-giving magical pit! I'll kill you first!"

Heh, Slade's really letting Damian have it.

Slade's a trained killer. There's no way he'd shoot a pistol one-handed when his other hand is free, it's less accurate.

Nananananannanananana bat-ninjas

Nobody knows better than to fight Batman with bats?

Slade doesn't fight with two swords. That's Rose's thing.

When is Talia gonna get naked?

Isn't the Lazarus Pit supposed to make you crazy? Like it did to Jason and like it does to Ra's every time?

Speaking of Jason, where's Tim?

"Talia would have been mine"? This is what this is about? Slade wants to tap that ass?

Yesssss stab Damian *fapfapfap*

YOU CAN'T BLOCK BULLETS WITH SWORDS. STOP IT.

And the award for Jobber of the Year goes to... Slade Wilson! Let's give him a hand everybody! *clapclapclap*

"You call it luck! I call it BEING A MARY SUE!"

Fridge Logic: Since when does Deathstroke try to set up crime operations? He's a mercenary, he kills stuff. He's not a spiteful, vindictive little bastard who sets up rackets like this.

"Oh no, I got magical life-juice all over me! I'm ruined!" *dies*

"Go ahead, finish me." Since when is Slade suicidal? Does he actually not want to live to fight another day? Or is this ONLY so Damian can have a Heel Face Turn?

That Lazarus-mill thingy is built really hilariously badly.

Starring Nightwing as deus-ex-machina man!

"Damian should stay with me." "But he'll want to stay with me." "Lol nope, he's through with you. Too bad bitch." #BatYOLO"

Since when does Batman refer to Robins by their real name in public? Who killed Batman and took his place?

Ah, it's over. Well, that was mediocre.

Hope you enjoyed, everyone. <3

#1 Posted by AllStarSuperman (21865 posts) - - Show Bio

lol good stuff here. The movie was far from great.

#2 Posted by laflux (15920 posts) - - Show Bio

It made you fap twice? Probably give a watch in the near future then.....

#3 Posted by OverLordArhas (7790 posts) - - Show Bio

Nice!

sexual innuendo

#4 Posted by Dark_Vengeance_ (14683 posts) - - Show Bio

I'm probably just going to fast forward to the Talia scenes.

Also, I'm going to go ahead and correct you. Batman has a crazy chick fetish, why do you think he has more appearances with Harley in 20 years than he does with WW in 70?

#5 Posted by Darling_Luna (4132 posts) - - Show Bio

*rolls*

Awesome, want more

#6 Posted by judasnixon (6584 posts) - - Show Bio

Threw out the whole film I couldn't stop thinking why did the bother putting Talia's brother in it. He walks out for like less than five seconds and gets killed. I really felt bad for the poor designer who had to design that character. He probably spent days working on his character designs, and they killed him in like I kid you not two seconds. It really didn't add anything to the story. You felt nothing when that dude died. You don't know $#!% about him other than he's Talia's brother. I have no F-ing clue why they felt like throwing him in this movie....... That all I thought about while watching this dumb ass cartoon.

#7 Posted by Dragonborn_CT (22271 posts) - - Show Bio

...

Okay...

I don't know, I didn't see the movie...

#8 Posted by CuddleBear (1242 posts) - - Show Bio

joygirl... fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

#9 Posted by Avenging-X-Bolt (13142 posts) - - Show Bio

well......now im not even sure i have to watch the actual movie......

#10 Edited by ARMIV2 (8524 posts) - - Show Bio

Saw like a bit of it in my comic shop when I went to go play MvC there. That game ate my first quarter than UMK 3 took my last one as I got butchered by Sub-Zero on the first level. Came out and saw Bats and Damian cohorting to do stuff and left as that one mutant ninja bat got eaten by a shark.

Yours is more or less my summary of what I saw.

#11 Posted by GraniteSoldier (7782 posts) - - Show Bio

"You can't block bullets with a sword, stop it!"

I laughed so hard I had to run to the bathroom because I almost sh*t myself.

#12 Posted by Joygirl (19962 posts) - - Show Bio
#13 Posted by GraniteSoldier (7782 posts) - - Show Bio

I often find myself thinking that in any movie/videogame/book when its JUST a sword, no special metal or nothing. There's no excuse for blatant disregard for...well everything!

#14 Edited by DaseanComerWCR (888 posts) - - Show Bio

joygirl... fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

Dude! Save it for the bathroom :)

#15 Posted by Oscars94 (2513 posts) - - Show Bio

I liked it but I feel that there's been a dip in quality in the animated movies. I loved Doom and Crisis On Two Earths, what happened?!

#16 Posted by RageTH22 (58 posts) - - Show Bio

New 52 Happened, Oscars.

I watched this the other day. Damien takes pain like Dante in the Devil May Cry series. The good one. "Ah! Damn! Impaled my arm with a small knife! Fuck it, I'm pulling my arm out over the knife! I just want you to die!"

And then he fights as if nothing happens until DS breaks his arm. Gaping hole in his arm? No problem! Broken bone? Yep, too much, arm's dead.

#17 Posted by oOSupermanThatHoeOo (647 posts) - - Show Bio

@joygirl: Well when you're right you're right.

STILL, Damian was badass and looked pretty dapper in the Robin costume if I do say so myself. Honestly, this movie was wasted potential. Considering the target demographic...I'm not surprised. Maybe we'll get a more serious entry later on. Better than nothing though, at least.

#18 Posted by Joygirl (19962 posts) - - Show Bio

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you liked it. :D

#19 Posted by HumanRocket (8156 posts) - - Show Bio

@cuddlebear: said joygirl... fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

Lolz

#20 Posted by Thitiki (3750 posts) - - Show Bio

@joygirl said:

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you liked it. :D

It was a nice read! Curious does Nightwing have any good action in the movie? I really don't want to watch it but some good Nightwing scenes may convince me.

#21 Posted by Joygirl (19962 posts) - - Show Bio

@thitiki said:

@joygirl said:

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you liked it. :D

It was a nice read! Curious does Nightwing have any good action in the movie? I really don't want to watch it but some good Nightwing scenes may convince me.

Not at all. He has a single off-screen fight.

#22 Edited by Thitiki (3750 posts) - - Show Bio

@joygirl said:

@thitiki said:

@joygirl said:

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you liked it. :D

It was a nice read! Curious does Nightwing have any good action in the movie? I really don't want to watch it but some good Nightwing scenes may convince me.

Not at all. He has a single off-screen fight.

Dang that's disappointing to hear.

#23 Posted by wildvine (9600 posts) - - Show Bio

Better then MST3K

Moderator
#24 Edited by Mitran (318 posts) - - Show Bio

Yeah, the movie was pretty bad. This review is spot on. Except for the punk 13 year old bit.