Is This Sexual Harassment?

or is the administration being over sensitive?

They are.

If it truly made the the teacher uncomfortable, then I'd be inclined to say that yeah, it kinda was. But I also think context and intentions should be taken into consideration, and with that in mind, I don't think he should've been scolded. They needed to teach him what was wrong about it instead, so that he'd know in the future.

But schools are super sensitive to sexual harassment these days. Have been for awhile. Years and years ago I got suspended for pantsing my best friend (a male) in middle school. They definitely considered that sexual harassment. It was wrong, and I deserved to be punished for it, but c'mon. It was not sexual harassment.

They are being far too oversensitive...but it might be about time for that talk.

Your son did nothing wrong. The teacher is just oversensitive.

His comment was in no way sexual.

How old is the kid?

If your kid is an elementary school kid that woman needs to slap herself. With how much sexual harassment is thrown around, sometimes it seems like men just being on the same planet as women is harassment.

I don't think it is sexual harassment, but it is a comment that many women might find offensive, so it's good for him to learn that lesson on (what I presume is) the middle or high school level as opposed to the adult level. Probably, it would have been better handled by the teacher briefly discussing inappropriate comments rather than sending him to detention, but as someone who had a very brief and disastrous high school teaching career, I can tell you that it's really hard to decide when you are being disrespected and how to respond.

Thank God he didn't point his level 2 look alike firearm (also known as a finger) at her as he said it. If he had, he probably would have been charged for attempted sexual assault.

Sounds like he's in elementary school.

No. How old is this kid? If he's in elementary then there shouldn't be a problem as he has no idea what the concept of sexual harassment is.

Depends on how old. If he's old enough to know the context of the term being used, then yes.

If not, which I think it is this, NO. Sometimes people think that complimenting someone positive in a nice way is harassment. :/

No not if he is that young

Also, someone above said, "Maybe it's time for the talk..." I'm not sure what that person means, but I do think, if you haven't already, you need to have a detailed talk about political correctness.

In today's society, you aren't judged by what you say but by how someone wants to twist what you say. If your son is anything like I was, he probably thinks what he sees on TV is okay to say unless he is told otherwise, yet there are a lot of things that can be said especially along racial or sexual lines which can bring a lot of heat regardless of his intent. Either he has to learn to play the game or he has to know there will be some people who say bad things about him (sexual harasser in this case) and will not listen to explanations.

Personally, I'd want my son to avoid intentionally insulting people but not to be afraid to speak his mind. Having no kids, I have little idea how to actually accomplish that goal.

You'll get there.

@comicace3:

Thanks. That means a lot.

@dagmar_merrill: @wolverine08: @comicace3: @retconcrisis: He's 13. An age where most kid's hormones are running wild. However his are not. I've been very candid about sex in the past. But at no point did I ever reveal to him legs could be viewed sexually. Whoops.

Gotta teach him about those gam gams, dad! :P

I think a 13 year old would know that's inappropriate. You should definitely talk to him and explain why what he did wasn't okay.

@longbowhunter: Yeah, I'd still say the teacher is being a sensitive b#tch.

Eh I don't think its a huge deal but I understand why they called it that. Students shouldn't really talk about teachers at all that way, and it did make her uncomfortable. Even if he didn't mean it that way, legs are usually seen in a sexual way. Maybe girls should show so much of their legs all the time but that's a different story.

@longbowhunter: 13? Eh, I'd say the teacher is overreacting. She should just take the simple compliment and moved on.

Grey area, as its both possible that your son isn't guilty of sexual harassment and that the administration is not being overly sensitive with this matter. What your son said sounds fairly innocent and you as his caregiver would probably know that best after talking to him, at the same time you can't account for all the other children that attend the school or grant that a teacher will be as insightful about your son's tone or meaning. Hypothetically a child in a similar position could have said "I like her bum" and have as much innocence potentially, it is just another human body part, or can be to individuals, just adult society at large generally tends to be aware that part of the body is a bit more sexualized. Then with that in mind a lot more adults would generally feel a little bit uncomfortable or perplexed at children talking to them that way.

If I were in this situation, I would probably call or met with the administration and teacher and just explain that I talked to my child and that what they said was sincerely innocent, and that they don't quite realize what all the fuss is about, but that I also spoke to them about what can be appropriate and inappropriate ways to address others and that you can understand if the teacher may have felt uncomfortable in such a situation and apologize on behalf of my son.

Do you know if the other children's remarks were addressed? The ones who said they liked her hair and pants? That could be a factor as well. I have a sister who I essentially raised as a daughter, she is 12 now, a few years ago had to talk to her about swear words, since I discovered kids in her class were started to share this secret knowledge. I am one of those a word is just a word types, and so my sister has a similar, simpler approach as well (which helps her as far as others bullying or teasing her) but she also had to understand that certain ways and addressing other individuals can be considered inappropriate even if her intent isn't inappropriate, and how thats important as far as real life as she may not always interact with individuals or groups of people who have the same attitudes or approaches to life and words as her, so its important to always be mindful of the context of a situation and to help avoid offending people, context dependent. The ability to discern context at a young age isn't necessary the greatest so I tried to instill to my sister that its better to approach people being a bit more polite until she gets older and can be more choosy about how she chooses to address others.

Good luck either way!

This was something my grandmother mentioned to me when she was picking up my youngest brother from school. She felt that some of the outfits these teachers wear should get the fired.

I feel the same way. If it made the teacher feel uncomfortable she should have pulled him aside and said so and told him that it was wrong. Instead she gets another teacher involved, he tells the principal and my son gets his ass reamed by two different people. Just poorly handled all the way around.

@longbowhunter: I still think the teacher is a bit oversensitive.

@sc: Thank you. That's sound advice. And no, none of the other students remarks were addressed.

However if I was a female teacher and there were a bunch of little boys commenting on how I look I would feel a little uncomfortable too. It was still handled poorly but I just felt I should say that.

Seven years old and below, no.

Anything older, and I could see where she's coming from. But even there, they're being a tad over sensitive.

Jmarshmallow

@jayc1324: They weren't all boys. One was a girl the same age.

I told my teacher back in high school she was beautiful and hot almost all the time(sucks she was married :P).And to another teacher of mine,I told him I'd have sex with that teacher who I said she was beautiful and hot and he just laughed and agreed by saying what teachers he would do.And this was a class discussion too btw lol.This teacher was kick-ass!

I can't say what his tone was. I can only tell you what his tone is to anything at home, dry and monotone.

No. "I like her legs" being sexual harassment seems like a reach to me. I understand how how it could be but I don't think it's a big deal. Now if he had said "I like her ass" or "I like her tits" then yeah, but legs...idk.

I don't think so.

Sounds like she was too uncomfortable to mention it directly to your son. The teacher's body was acknowledged in a mind-to-mind relationship. The school could be setting the lesson for other students too. That's great you and your son can talk about it.

he likes her legs. how is this a bad thing?

How the f**k is that sexual harassment if you're not talking to the person directly? That's just punishing people for thinking you're cute.