I am especially gladdened that you do not wish to commit suicide, your way too unique and kind of a person. Having no desire to live though is worrying as well. Such feelings aren't extremely rare, especially among males of our age (assuming you are either a teenager or young adult) which is sad, but the good news is that such feelings really honestly are relatively temporary. There can be a lot of complicated reasons why we can feel like this, or associated feelings that are similar, and I know other people have already suggested it, but talking to people really helps. You don't actually have to be suicidal to use most of the services aimed at people in that position. If you are in type of school or educational system, they too usually have someone thats available to speak to, and even if you think or feel that it won't help? You should just try it anyway. Asking your regular GP, doctor as well? You can talk to them about such things or they can refer you to speak to anyone else they think that might help per your comfort and choice. Sometimes just the act of expressing your true and sincere thoughts and feelings to people such as a a Mental health counselor can actually help. Sometimes you don't even have to express yourself so outrightly. Lots of people keep journals or write as a way to express themselves if they are feeling lacking or down or despondent, or low. I know you have expressed a wish to write before? Have you considered taking that up a bit more? I think you would write a great Thor fan fiction, I read a rough outline you planned for such a fan fiction but never could find if when you actually started it.
Oh and another reason why it can benefit to talk to a mental health expert is that they can help you plan certain things which might help you regain motivation and desire to live. Regain purpose and vigor. Sometimes things such as sleeping patterns, eating patterns, what we eat can actually affect us chemically and psychologically so regulating that can help improve your state of mind and state of feelings. I can't be sure how hard and tough things must be for you, or exactly how you feel, but I can empathize a little. As cheesy as the sentiment may be, it really is always worth remembering that things always change. Which basically means if you feel worthless or feel like there is no reason to live, chances are reality is going to try and screw you over by inventing things that will make you feel worthy and make you want to stick around. Plus we have like Thor 2 The Dark World to look forward to and Jason Aaron's run on Thor as well lol
So yeah.1. Talk to someone. Ring a helpline or see a doctor, even if for advice to see who you can talk to further? 2. Try some creative writing, where your in control, and write about things that you want to, and things that make you happy. If you do it at CV, I know lots of people that will offer feedback if you want or will just read it to enjoy your writing. 3. Try and think of small things that you actually might be looking forward to in the future. There was a point in my life, where I felt everything was pointless and I didn't really care at the time if I lived or died, but something simple like collecting little Marvel and DC figures was something that I had to look forward to. A new one would be released each fortnight so even though in the grand scheme of things they were small just that they were they and in the future and something I had to wait for and looked forward to was enough. 4. Try and remember how awesome you are. Smile more about your awesomeness. Last week I saw you shut down one of the sites most popular and best debaters. It was a very very small point and I doubt that debater will make such a mistake like the one they made and you might not know the technical aspects as far how good your refuting of their point was, but thats okay, 90 percent of debaters at CV have no clue about technical points. Its all mainly for fun. Still, don't underrate yourself is my point or your potential. People never stop growing and like many have said its a shame when a persons life is ended before it should. Which with modern day science should be like 150. lol
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