I'm at the checkout line getting my food scanned by this 300 lbs+ heifer of a woman. She didn't look at me or talk to me the entire time when usually they will. She seemed a little slow. Behind me in line is this other close to 300 lbs shorter woman. The cashier and this lady start talking, totally ignoring me the entire time which I didn't mind, I don't want to talk to fats if I don't have to. Lady behind me starts talking about how they buried her brother on Saturday, only 58 years old. Looking at her you can tell her brother was a lardass just like her. She didn't go into details why, but you could tell it was because obesity took his life. For some reason I have a smile on my face at this point.
It gets better. Cashier starts talking about how she is worried because her kids aren't as healthy as she is (WTF)! Her oldest son had a stroke five years ago and is 38 now. WHAT!!!!!!! So he had a stroke at 33 and you are worried because YOU are in better health than he is? At this point I'm having a hard time not grinning my ass off. Cashier said she was 55 and it's a rough 55, I mean god damn it was bad. She goes on to say that it was caused by a head injury in some sport he was playing in high school. Yeah right, 15 years before the stroke he got a head injury and that caused it.
So I waited until I got my receipt and told them, "My aunt's a nurse and from what she tells me strokes are caused by blockage of blood to the brain. It's usually caused by too much fat in the diet." At that point I looked at the cashier, then at the fatty's food on the counter and then the fat person behind me with this look that said "You're next". Cashier had this dumbfounded look on her face. Person behind me tried giving me a dirty look but it could have been gas too, hard to tell. I was laughing loud enough for them to hear as I walked away.
What a great day!
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