Grey Day

Everyone take out yr monthly planners. Good. Now throw them in the garbage because yr gonna need A LOT of free time in the next couple of weeks in order to pick out an appropriate outfit for the riot I'm throwing in Boston because that shitbag city wont recognize March 28 th as "Jean Grey Remembrance Day". Those worthless bureaucrats down at city hall rejected my proposal before I even had a chance to make a case for "Grey Day" (as it will be popularly known)! They were like "Sir, blahblah the x-men aren't real blahblah let go of my arm blahblahBLAHBLAH". This is unforgivable. They acted like I was the one being outlandish! Let's reflect on some of the "holidays" these assholes pimp out annually:


Flag Day: This is a joke, right? It's not! Nobody even knows what month this happens in. And also, WHO CELEBRATES THIS? Even if you wanted to, HOW could you? I feel like yr either the type of person who is into flags or yr not and I'm sorry but most people certainly ARE NOT. Some places don't even have flags, and how do you think they feel being forced to maybe notice this day printed on their calendar? I'm sure it's bad.


Columbus Day: NO FUCKING WAY. NOOOOO FUUUCCCKKIIINNGGG WAAAYYY does this awful little murderer get his own day while the fucking PHOENIX goes unrecognized. We should just rename this "USA LOVES RAPE DAY" because GUESS WHAT AMERICA to imply that he "discovered" the Americas implies that at some point they were lost. Look around you. Did Boston suddenly become Atlantis? No, of course not. ALSO celebrating Columbus Day is basically celebrating terrorism because Columbus showing up is like the Native American 9/11.


Labor Day: Women have been giving birth for LITERALLY decades. There's absolutely nothing special or extraordinary about it and an entire day spent celebrating what I'm told is the excruciating and relentless pain of women is flat out MISOGYNY.


Easter: Why would you celebrate a day that ONLY exists to further the Christian Zombie Agenda? Have you seen Dawn of the Dead (the real one OR the remake)? Zombies are bad news and I'm certainly not paying attention to a bunch of cult members that glorify drinking blood/eating flesh and things returning from the grave. This is even grosser than Columbus Day.

Do what you will with the information I've provided...as long as "what you will" means writing yr local Congressperson and explaining that Jean Grey Remembrance Day NEEDS to be an officially sanctioned state holiday or you are going to join me in a riot at Downtown Crossing.


Thank You for yr time.