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#1 Posted by SOG7dc (6713 posts) - - Show Bio

I took a girl out on a date and we had a great time. Even capped it off with a hug and kiss. But later I found out she had a boyfriend. I immediately ended the relationship because of my spiritual beliefs. But I'm still insanely attracted to her and I have to see her all the time at work. What should I do

#2 Posted by Batman242 (4798 posts) - - Show Bio

Says it all

#3 Posted by Joygirl (15327 posts) - - Show Bio

@sog7dc: Get un-attracted to her.

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#4 Posted by SOG7dc (6713 posts) - - Show Bio
#5 Edited by warlock360 (26898 posts) - - Show Bio

Dude here, man it up and take her, if she ain't married to him i don't see the big problem :p

#6 Posted by The Stegman (20725 posts) - - Show Bio

Forget her. If she kept having a boyfriend from you, even if you DO win her over, she could pull the same crap on you.

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#7 Edited by DecoyElite (4019 posts) - - Show Bio

You must leave. You must train in the Alps and discipline yourself. Master your body and mind. Then when you are finished you may return more powerful than before.

Or you could just avoid the girl, that could work too.

#8 Posted by SOG7dc (6713 posts) - - Show Bio
#9 Posted by Batman242 (4798 posts) - - Show Bio

@sog7dc: Okay my first post was a joke, don't go killing people.

If she has a boyfriend and goes out on a date with you, that just shows that if you become the new boyfriend, she's gonna do the same thing to you..... Well, basically what Stegman said.

Break it off and find things that take your mind off of her.

#10 Posted by slade_wilson (297 posts) - - Show Bio

@sog7dc: There is only one way. And that's Decoy's way. Both parts.

#11 Edited by INLIFE (1600 posts) - - Show Bio

Find a loyal female.

#12 Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse (5587 posts) - - Show Bio

Is murder ok with your spiritual beliefs? Because that's always an option.

#13 Posted by Batman242 (4798 posts) - - Show Bio

Is murder ok with your spiritual beliefs? Because that's always an option.

This applies to you then.

#14 Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse (5587 posts) - - Show Bio

@batman242: Exactly! This is the perfect role model for SOG7dc!

#15 Posted by Cozy_Da_Djed_Eye (9917 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife said:

Find a loyal female.

Word.

#16 Posted by SmoothJammin (2329 posts) - - Show Bio

Drop it like a bad habit and give her a reason to seek you out, crave more from you. I wouldn't want some dude messing with a girl I was dating so I'd respect their relationship. In that same token by pulling out like a baoz it gives her more incentive to please you and shed some insecurities/dilemmas she has by not 'meeting YOUR standards'.. but seriously dude, the fact that she's still with the guy and giving you sloppy seconds tells you everything you need to know about her. Don't catch feelings bro. How many other rebound guys do you think she's seen in the past? Surely you haven't been the only one. And another thing, if you meet eyes and she holds her gaze for more than 3 sec, she wants dat D :3

#17 Posted by SOG7dc (6713 posts) - - Show Bio
#18 Posted by TekTheNinja (729 posts) - - Show Bio

Forget her. If she kept having a boyfriend from you, even if you DO win her over, she could pull the same crap on you.

#19 Posted by kriminal (564 posts) - - Show Bio

I would keep trying but never get with her. and by trying you know what I mean.

#20 Posted by NorrinBoltagonPrime21 (4668 posts) - - Show Bio

Kill her!!!!!! That way you take your mind off liking her to worrying about hiding the dead body and getting away with murder!

Your welcome.

#21 Posted by Web_Flotsam (935 posts) - - Show Bio

@norrinboltagonprime21: Better then that, tell her boyfriend she's cheating on him and he might do it all for you!

#22 Edited by NorrinBoltagonPrime21 (4668 posts) - - Show Bio
#23 Posted by ARMIV2 (7653 posts) - - Show Bio

She did WHAT? Dude...don't...

#24 Posted by Web_Flotsam (935 posts) - - Show Bio
#25 Edited by Immortal777 (5880 posts) - - Show Bio

Either you tap that or you don't there are other women out there.

#26 Posted by HumanRocket (4837 posts) - - Show Bio

Well good with what u did. And as temping as it is u have to stick to ur guns and not fall into ur temptations. U did a good thing and u have strong values so don't go against them.

#27 Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse (5587 posts) - - Show Bio

Seriously, though, you shouldn't listen to any of the advice gicpven here except for this: KILL THE OTHER GUY!!! IMMEDIATELY!!!

#28 Edited by batpala (339 posts) - - Show Bio

Did she know it was a date or did she think it was just two friends going out because if you didn't outright state that it was a date she could have thought it was the latter, so.

#29 Posted by russellmania77 (13568 posts) - - Show Bio

toot it and boot it

#30 Posted by GraniteSoldier (4493 posts) - - Show Bio

If she did it to him, what's to stop her from doing it to you? You're "special"? I had many a college buddy fall for that one to have the same thing happen to them.

#31 Posted by Fallschirmjager (11522 posts) - - Show Bio

If she did it to him, what's to stop her from doing it to you? You're "special"? I had many a college buddy fall for that one to have the same thing happen to them.

#32 Posted by BumpyBoo (7215 posts) - - Show Bio

Dude, get out NOW before it's too late. Seriously. Just run.

#33 Posted by consolemaster001 (4473 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't date her again.

#34 Posted by TheAcidSkull (15891 posts) - - Show Bio

ABORT MISSION SOLDIER!

#35 Posted by _Grifter_ (10486 posts) - - Show Bio

I know it's easier said than done, but you have to stop seeing her in whatever light you see her in. At best you could friend zone her and even then I don't recommend doing that.

#36 Posted by i_like_swords (7589 posts) - - Show Bio

Girls make shit complicated, especially the one in your situation. One word:

BAIL

#37 Posted by ragdollpurps (15570 posts) - - Show Bio

Maybe she's testing you out to see if she wants you to be her next boyfriend? Maybe she'll leave her current boyfriend for you. Maybe she's looking for a good enough reason to leave what she has for something better?

Idk. I've been guilty of this before, and not because I'm not a 'loyal' female (Eyeroll. I'm a woman, not a dog, and my relationship track record is astounding, fyi.), but simply because the love I had for the person I was with faded and I had simply fallen in love with someone else. I was in process of breaking up with them and just ended up transitioning into my next relationship so there was no clear cut single period between the two. That being said, if you like her enough and value and respect her as a person you could talk to her about it and give her a chance to explain herself. If she likes you enough and values and respects you as a person, she'll be upfront with you and you'll find out whether she wants you or if she's just fickle.

Or you could just be an immature ass and not take into consideration any feelings that she may harbor for you, and just run away from the entire situation like a pup with your tail between your legs. Best thing would just be to talk to her about it, like respectful adults.

#38 Posted by Riot_Sqrrl (262 posts) - - Show Bio

"It's the terror of knowing what this world is about, watching good friends scream, 'let me out'..."

#39 Posted by TheAcidSkull (15891 posts) - - Show Bio

@ragdollpurps: wait i'm not following here, Shouldn't you break up with the person FIRST then try to date someone else? o_O

#40 Posted by ragdollpurps (15570 posts) - - Show Bio

@theacidskull: Yeah, but if you're terrible at letting people down, like me, that becomes a slow process and sometimes somethings end up overlapping. And you can't dictate when or how you'll develop feelings. It just happens. Sometimes at inconvenient times.

I just keep thinking about what would make that girl date someone, when she has a boyfriend. In my mind, it means she no longer has feelings for her boyfriend, cause if she's anything like me, she can only really care for one person at a time. Which would mean her heart lies with OP. But I know not all girls are like, so she might be a lil player. The only way to find out is if he talks to her.

#41 Posted by TheAcidSkull (15891 posts) - - Show Bio

@theacidskull: Yeah, but if you're terrible at letting people down, like me, that becomes a slow process and sometimes somethings end up overlapping. And you can't dictate when or how you'll develop feelings. It just happens. Sometimes at inconvenient times.

I just keep thinking about what would make that girl date someone, when she has a boyfriend. In my mind, it means she no longer has feelings for her boyfriend, cause if she's anything like me, she can only really care for one person at a time. Which would mean her heart lies with OP. But I know not all girls are like, so she might be a lil player. The only way to find out is if he talks to her.

ugh relationships, man. dey be confusing as hell!

#42 Edited by SOG7dc (6713 posts) - - Show Bio

@batpala: I explicitly asked her on a date

#43 Posted by batpala (339 posts) - - Show Bio

@sog7dc: I would talk about it with her then, because she's the only person you can really sort this out with, so. And no, don't have sex with her because that will just complicate things and make things ten times harder.

#44 Edited by sesquipedalophobe (4637 posts) - - Show Bio

I was in the same situation a year ago, however it went a little bit further. Avoid her.

#45 Posted by SC (11937 posts) - - Show Bio

Why do you like her? Why does she like you? Why does she like her current boyfriend? I agree with ragdollpurps assessment here most, you seem like a mature intelligent person, much of this seems like it could be resolved if you talk to the girl you like honestly and candidly. Tell her you like her and are attracted to her, and find out how interested she is in with you. If she has mutual feelings for you, explain to her that its not in your nature to be involved with someone while they are attached to another person romantically. Then depending on how you feel, you give her time to come to her own conclusions and maker her own decisions. Maybe she was just stringing you along for the attention, maybe she cares about her boyfriend more, maybe she cares about you more, I definitely don't know heh heh.

Thing is you also have to sort out your feelings and thoughts as well, because do you really really like her? Maybe you just like her because you know you can't have her and she is taboo because she is with another guy and that excites you. What happens if you feel differently after she breaks up with the other guy because she likes you more as a person? What happens if she meets another guy that she likes more than you down the line? What happens if you met another girl in another relationship that you are even more attracted to? Lots of what ifs there and that can make decisions hard. Some of these questions only you can answer as well. Some only the girl your attracted to can answer. Some of these things can only be answered with time and they run the risk of much heartbreak, guilt and regret. Those things are also true pretty much no matter what you do (guilt and regret and heartbreak of not taking a different course of action)

I'd say be real with yourself about how much you like this girl. Let her know and also let her know what kind of person you are. presumably she likes you a bit so she has to know you a bit, which should mean she should know that you aren't the kind of person to be romantically attached to her if she is seeing someone else. Puts her in a spot where she has to choose, but presumably you can give her a period of time that you are both comfortable with to sort out your feelings.

Good luck either way.

Moderator
#46 Posted by TDK_1997 (13670 posts) - - Show Bio

You must leave town and go into the mountains.Where you will train and become the best fighter in the world.And then you may come back and murder her boyfriend and that way she will be yours forever.

#47 Edited by Vortex13 (12156 posts) - - Show Bio

@ragdollpurps: I relate to the whole falling out of love thing and not wanting to let people down. Typically I end up stuck and wanting the relationship to end and hopefully they break up with me. It is a pain in the tuchus when you are in a relationship that has become lackluster or stale for you and you like someone else but are kind of too polite to end it.

#48 Posted by ragdollpurps (15570 posts) - - Show Bio

@vortex13: That's exactly how it is. It sucks and it makes me feel terribly guilty because I'm always the one who falls first and initially, the one who wants it most.

#49 Edited by Vortex13 (12156 posts) - - Show Bio

@ragdollpurps: Yeah it really is annoying. Damn my family for bringing me up right and making me be too damn polite! lol.

Anyway, how about a love song?

#50 Posted by Vortex13 (12156 posts) - - Show Bio

Or this one,

FLCL seriously had one absolutely epic soundtrack.