Funniest claims you've ever heard...

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Supersaiyan_Danger

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The funniest claim I've heard was about movie Thor being a planet buster.

- "Thor was able to crack the planet of the frost giants in his own movie"

- Spacebattle.com

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laflux

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Pat Robertson could leg press 1000 pounds.

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DecoyElite

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#3  Edited By DecoyElite

"Terminator is god"

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DecoyElite

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Followed by. "I am The Terminator"

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Guardian_of_Gravity

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@supersaiyan_danger: That claim was almost certainly sh!tcanned there.

They're significantly less polite to stupid people on SB.com.

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Marshall_Long

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Naruto is SSJ2 level

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The_Legendary_SuperSaiyan_Hulk

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mrdecepticonleader

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Some claims I hear would be genuinely funny if they didn't have a profound effect, and the idiocy of such claims were not damaging.

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Guardian_of_Gravity

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@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

That's actually a frequently posted copy pasta.

Loading Video...

It's even in song form.

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Pro_Nelson

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#12  Edited By Pro_Nelson

"Humans are born immortal, we just poison our bodies overtime."

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PartialSanity

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Kim Jong-il's claim that he invented hamburgers was pretty funny. "Double bread with meat," he called it.

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deactivated-5e3b7f04aeb74

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There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

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Dabee

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"We don't serve breakfast at 2 PM."

Yeah f*'ing right.

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INLIFE

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#16  Edited By INLIFE

Masturbating makes your pee-pee smaller.

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Pyrogram

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WarBlade539

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#18  Edited By WarBlade539

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

Haha! I hear that claim on YouTube ALL THE TIME!

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INLIFE

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@mitran:

Never heard that.

My grandma told me that I would go to hell.

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NorrinBoltagonPrime21

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Hulk can move at FTL

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INLIFE

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#24  Edited By INLIFE

@mitran said:

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

Man, I have been hearing them since I was 4. It was because I had already started.

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juiceboks

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#26 juiceboks  Moderator

"Lil Wayne is the epitome of rap music."

I responded by listing 17 rappers better than him off the top of my head to my misguided friend.

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Betatesthighlander1

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There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

Maybe he was Hitler's grandson

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Superguy0009e

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I was playing Red Dead Redemption online when I came across these annoying kids. I started messing with them, and one of them said (I don't remember the exact words): "Stop messing with me! I once broke a guy's f*cking nose! And he was bigger than me! You think I'm sh*itting you, but I'm not! I'm fo'real!!!!

No Caption Provided

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deactivated-5ee15da0e0aad

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The earth is the center of the universe.

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WarBlade539

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Call of Duty or Children's Online Daycare came out before Half Life

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russellmania77

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#31  Edited By russellmania77

Lil Wayne the greatest rapper alive, not the greatest part but the rapper part

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batpala

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Anything that pours from the horrendous Dan Didio's mouth.

[Can you tell I have a serious hatred for him yet]

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Veshark

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"Lil Wayne is the epitome of rap music."

I responded by listing 17 rappers better than him off the top of my head to my misguided friend.

This.

Along with having all of Eminem's albums and a few Macklemore songs on one's iPod qualifying as 'I'm a fan of rap music'.

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theTimeStreamer

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batman can beat anyone with prep.

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consolemaster001

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There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

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Supersaiyan_Danger

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@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

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Guardian_of_Gravity

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@consolemaster001 said:

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

Math is hard, especially when you're stupid.

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Bruxae

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The penis is a bone.

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Guardian_of_Gravity

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@bruxae: Well there actually is a bone in the penis of quite a few animals.

Just not humans.

I always kinda wondered what it'd be like to have sex with a guy who did have a bone in his penis though...

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Supersaiyan_Danger

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@supersaiyan_danger said:

@consolemaster001 said:

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

Math is hard, especially when you're stupid.

This. Hitler would be in Guinees world record books right now.

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consolemaster001

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dernman

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#42  Edited By dernman

@supersaiyan_danger: ....umm dude hitler was born in 1889. He'd be 124 lol

Hilter was born in 2010 and I hate him. He's the meanest German Shepard I've ever came across. :p

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RulerOfThisUniverse

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The funniest claim I've ever heard is that "Batman can beat anyone with prep time" is the funniest claim someone's ever heard.

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thatguywithheadphones

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''Luffy could solo the Naruto-Verse''

Ha

Shine on you crazy Diamond

ThatGuyWithHeadphones

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SuperDrummer

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#45  Edited By SuperDrummer

"I just spent my summer on a search and rescue mission in Iraq with the navy seals."
- four foot one twelve year old

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unbreakable_fs4

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#46  Edited By unbreakable_fs4

"Superman is God's one and only son"

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Supersaiyan_Danger

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consolemaster001

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@supersaiyan_danger: ummm what does this have to do anything ? I was merely correcting a historical error you made.

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deactivated-5c901e667a76c

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"With 100 years of prep time, Batman could beat Galactus."