• 131 results
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
#1 Edited by Supersaiyan_Danger (722 posts) - - Show Bio

The funniest claim I've heard was about movie Thor being a planet buster.

- "Thor was able to crack the planet of the frost giants in his own movie"

- Spacebattle.com

#2 Posted by laflux (15377 posts) - - Show Bio

Pat Robertson could leg press 1000 pounds.

#3 Edited by DecoyElite (4019 posts) - - Show Bio

"Terminator is god"

#4 Posted by DecoyElite (4019 posts) - - Show Bio

Followed by. "I am The Terminator"

#5 Edited by Guardian_of_Gravity (2979 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger: That claim was almost certainly sh!tcanned there.

They're significantly less polite to stupid people on SB.com.

#6 Posted by Marshall_Long (1951 posts) - - Show Bio

Naruto is SSJ2 level

#7 Posted by The_Legendary_SuperSaiyan_Hulk (9883 posts) - - Show Bio
#8 Edited by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

Online
#9 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (17872 posts) - - Show Bio

Some claims I hear would be genuinely funny if they didn't have a profound effect, and the idiocy of such claims were not damaging.

#10 Posted by Guardian_of_Gravity (2979 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

That's actually a frequently posted copy pasta.

It's even in song form.

#11 Posted by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

That's actually a frequently posted copy pasta.

It's even in song form.

I know. I paste it in quite a few places. 'Cause it's sooo much fun when somebody hasn't seen it before.

Online
#12 Edited by Pro_Nelson (1513 posts) - - Show Bio

"Humans are born immortal, we just poison our bodies overtime."

#13 Posted by PartialSanity (433 posts) - - Show Bio

Kim Jong-il's claim that he invented hamburgers was pretty funny. "Double bread with meat," he called it.

#14 Posted by silkyballfro94 (1676 posts) - - Show Bio

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

#15 Posted by Dabee (2386 posts) - - Show Bio

"We don't serve breakfast at 2 PM."

Yeah f*'ing right.

#16 Edited by INLIFE (1600 posts) - - Show Bio

Masturbating makes your pee-pee smaller.

#17 Posted by Pyrogram (36490 posts) - - Show Bio
#18 Edited by WarBlade539 (4564 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

Haha! I hear that claim on YouTube ALL THE TIME!

#19 Posted by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

Haha! I hear that claim on YouTube ALL THE TIME!

It's great. A genius wrote it, without a doubt, it's just too perfect to not be a joke.

Online
#20 Posted by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife said:

Masturbating makes your pee-pee smaller.

What about hairy palms?

Online
#21 Posted by INLIFE (1600 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran:

Never heard that.

My grandma told me that I would go to hell.

#22 Posted by NorrinBoltagonPrime21 (5784 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk can move at FTL

#23 Posted by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

Online
#24 Edited by INLIFE (1600 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

Man, I have been hearing them since I was 4. It was because I had already started.

#25 Posted by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife said:

@mitran said:

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

Man, I have been hearing them since I was 4. It was because I had already started.

Oh jeesh. Must have been horrible going through all that all those years. I guess my dad never really cared to talk about myths, so it was w/e.

Online
#26 Posted by Juiceboks (8512 posts) - - Show Bio

"Lil Wayne is the epitome of rap music."

I responded by listing 17 rappers better than him off the top of my head to my misguided friend.

#27 Posted by Betatesthighlander1 (7462 posts) - - Show Bio

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

Maybe he was Hitler's grandson

#28 Posted by Superguy0009e (2265 posts) - - Show Bio

I was playing Red Dead Redemption online when I came across these annoying kids. I started messing with them, and one of them said (I don't remember the exact words): "Stop messing with me! I once broke a guy's f*cking nose! And he was bigger than me! You think I'm sh*itting you, but I'm not! I'm fo'real!!!!

#29 Posted by scorpion2501 (5504 posts) - - Show Bio

The earth is the center of the universe.

#30 Posted by WarBlade539 (4564 posts) - - Show Bio

Call of Duty or Children's Online Daycare came out before Half Life

#31 Edited by russellmania77 (15010 posts) - - Show Bio

Lil Wayne the greatest rapper alive, not the greatest part but the rapper part

Online
#32 Posted by batpala (339 posts) - - Show Bio

Anything that pours from the horrendous Dan Didio's mouth.

[Can you tell I have a serious hatred for him yet]

#33 Posted by Veshark (9058 posts) - - Show Bio

"Lil Wayne is the epitome of rap music."

I responded by listing 17 rappers better than him off the top of my head to my misguided friend.

This.

Along with having all of Eminem's albums and a few Macklemore songs on one's iPod qualifying as 'I'm a fan of rap music'.

#34 Posted by theTimeStreamer (2841 posts) - - Show Bio

batman can beat anyone with prep.

#35 Posted by consolemaster001 (5245 posts) - - Show Bio

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

#36 Posted by Supersaiyan_Danger (722 posts) - - Show Bio

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

#37 Edited by Guardian_of_Gravity (2979 posts) - - Show Bio

@consolemaster001 said:

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

Math is hard, especially when you're stupid.

#38 Posted by Bruxae (13470 posts) - - Show Bio

The penis is a bone.

Online
#39 Posted by Guardian_of_Gravity (2979 posts) - - Show Bio

@bruxae: Well there actually is a bone in the penis of quite a few animals.

Just not humans.

I always kinda wondered what it'd be like to have sex with a guy who did have a bone in his penis though...

#40 Posted by Supersaiyan_Danger (722 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger said:

@consolemaster001 said:

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

Math is hard, especially when you're stupid.

This. Hitler would be in Guinees world record books right now.

#41 Posted by consolemaster001 (5245 posts) - - Show Bio
#42 Edited by Dernman (14960 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger: ....umm dude hitler was born in 1889. He'd be 124 lol

Hilter was born in 2010 and I hate him. He's the meanest German Shepard I've ever came across. :p

#43 Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse (6274 posts) - - Show Bio

The funniest claim I've ever heard is that "Batman can beat anyone with prep time" is the funniest claim someone's ever heard.

Online
#44 Posted by ThatGuyWithHeadPhones (10874 posts) - - Show Bio

''Luffy could solo the Naruto-Verse''

Ha

Shine on you crazy Diamond

ThatGuyWithHeadphones

Online
#45 Edited by SuperDrummer (721 posts) - - Show Bio

"I just spent my summer on a search and rescue mission in Iraq with the navy seals."
- four foot one twelve year old

#46 Edited by unBREAKable_Fs4 (1671 posts) - - Show Bio

"Superman is God's one and only son"

#47 Posted by Supersaiyan_Danger (722 posts) - - Show Bio
#48 Posted by consolemaster001 (5245 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger: ummm what does this have to do anything ? I was merely correcting a historical error you made.

#49 Posted by Xwraith (17296 posts) - - Show Bio

"With 100 years of prep time, Batman could beat Galactus."

#50 Edited by JetiiMitra (8509 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk's healing factor lets him beat TOAA

Online