#1 Edited by Supersaiyan_Danger (778 posts) - - Show Bio

The funniest claim I've heard was about movie Thor being a planet buster.

- "Thor was able to crack the planet of the frost giants in his own movie"

- Spacebattle.com

#2 Posted by laflux (19854 posts) - - Show Bio

Pat Robertson could leg press 1000 pounds.

Online
#3 Edited by DecoyElite (4021 posts) - - Show Bio

"Terminator is god"

#4 Posted by DecoyElite (4021 posts) - - Show Bio

Followed by. "I am The Terminator"

#5 Edited by Guardian_of_Gravity (2990 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger: That claim was almost certainly sh!tcanned there.

They're significantly less polite to stupid people on SB.com.

#6 Posted by Marshall_Long (2893 posts) - - Show Bio

Naruto is SSJ2 level

#7 Posted by The_Legendary_SuperSaiyan_Hulk (11998 posts) - - Show Bio
#8 Edited by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

#9 Posted by mrdecepticonleader (19226 posts) - - Show Bio

Some claims I hear would be genuinely funny if they didn't have a profound effect, and the idiocy of such claims were not damaging.

#10 Posted by Guardian_of_Gravity (2990 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

That's actually a frequently posted copy pasta.

It's even in song form.

#11 Posted by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

That's actually a frequently posted copy pasta.

It's even in song form.

I know. I paste it in quite a few places. 'Cause it's sooo much fun when somebody hasn't seen it before.

#12 Edited by Pro_Nelson (1520 posts) - - Show Bio

"Humans are born immortal, we just poison our bodies overtime."

#13 Posted by PartialSanity (450 posts) - - Show Bio

Kim Jong-il's claim that he invented hamburgers was pretty funny. "Double bread with meat," he called it.

#14 Posted by silkyballfro94 (2546 posts) - - Show Bio

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

#15 Posted by Dabee (2421 posts) - - Show Bio

"We don't serve breakfast at 2 PM."

Yeah f*'ing right.

#16 Edited by INLIFE (1614 posts) - - Show Bio

Masturbating makes your pee-pee smaller.

#17 Posted by Pyrogram (42493 posts) - - Show Bio
#18 Edited by WarBlade539 (5032 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

Haha! I hear that claim on YouTube ALL THE TIME!

#19 Posted by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

What the f*** did you just f***ing say about me, you little b****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f***ing words. You think you can get away with saying that s*** to me over the Internet? Think again, f***er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re f***ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable a** off the face of the continent, you little s***. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f***ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you godd*** idiot. I will s*** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re f***ing dead, kiddo.

Some variants at the middle of this page

Wait, it was supposed to be comic claims?

Daken is faster than light. Or was that proven?

Revan is the master of both dark and light sides of the Force, and is the heart of the Force, and is the greatest ever.

Haha! I hear that claim on YouTube ALL THE TIME!

It's great. A genius wrote it, without a doubt, it's just too perfect to not be a joke.

#20 Posted by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife said:

Masturbating makes your pee-pee smaller.

What about hairy palms?

#21 Posted by INLIFE (1614 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran:

Never heard that.

My grandma told me that I would go to hell.

#22 Posted by NorrinBoltagonPrime21 (6870 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk can move at FTL

#23 Posted by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

#24 Edited by INLIFE (1614 posts) - - Show Bio

@mitran said:

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

Man, I have been hearing them since I was 4. It was because I had already started.

#25 Posted by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

@inlife said:

@mitran said:

@inlife: Luckily no one ever told me this stuff. I heard them after I had.. um... already started, and by then I laughed at anyone who believed it.

Man, I have been hearing them since I was 4. It was because I had already started.

Oh jeesh. Must have been horrible going through all that all those years. I guess my dad never really cared to talk about myths, so it was w/e.

#26 Posted by Juiceboks (12534 posts) - - Show Bio

"Lil Wayne is the epitome of rap music."

I responded by listing 17 rappers better than him off the top of my head to my misguided friend.

#27 Posted by Betatesthighlander1 (7721 posts) - - Show Bio

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

Maybe he was Hitler's grandson

#28 Posted by Superguy0009e (2404 posts) - - Show Bio

I was playing Red Dead Redemption online when I came across these annoying kids. I started messing with them, and one of them said (I don't remember the exact words): "Stop messing with me! I once broke a guy's f*cking nose! And he was bigger than me! You think I'm sh*itting you, but I'm not! I'm fo'real!!!!

#29 Posted by scorpion2501 (7769 posts) - - Show Bio

The earth is the center of the universe.

#30 Posted by WarBlade539 (5032 posts) - - Show Bio

Call of Duty or Children's Online Daycare came out before Half Life

#31 Edited by russellmania77 (16625 posts) - - Show Bio

Lil Wayne the greatest rapper alive, not the greatest part but the rapper part

#32 Posted by batpala (342 posts) - - Show Bio

Anything that pours from the horrendous Dan Didio's mouth.

[Can you tell I have a serious hatred for him yet]

#33 Posted by Veshark (9167 posts) - - Show Bio

"Lil Wayne is the epitome of rap music."

I responded by listing 17 rappers better than him off the top of my head to my misguided friend.

This.

Along with having all of Eminem's albums and a few Macklemore songs on one's iPod qualifying as 'I'm a fan of rap music'.

#34 Posted by theTimeStreamer (2845 posts) - - Show Bio

batman can beat anyone with prep.

#35 Posted by consolemaster001 (6715 posts) - - Show Bio

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

#36 Posted by Supersaiyan_Danger (778 posts) - - Show Bio

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

#37 Edited by Guardian_of_Gravity (2990 posts) - - Show Bio

@consolemaster001 said:

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

Math is hard, especially when you're stupid.

#38 Posted by Bruxae (14868 posts) - - Show Bio

The penis is a bone.

#39 Posted by Guardian_of_Gravity (2990 posts) - - Show Bio

@bruxae: Well there actually is a bone in the penis of quite a few animals.

Just not humans.

I always kinda wondered what it'd be like to have sex with a guy who did have a bone in his penis though...

#40 Posted by Supersaiyan_Danger (778 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger said:

@consolemaster001 said:

@silkyballfro94 said:

There was this one kid in high school that many people thought was a pathological liar. That said, the kid once told people that his grandpa killed Hitler.

There was this other kid my friend knew. He said that Hitler was still alive and that he lives in India.

Does that kid realize Hitler would be 145 right now?

Math is hard, especially when you're stupid.

This. Hitler would be in Guinees world record books right now.

#41 Posted by consolemaster001 (6715 posts) - - Show Bio
#42 Edited by Dernman (16840 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger: ....umm dude hitler was born in 1889. He'd be 124 lol

Hilter was born in 2010 and I hate him. He's the meanest German Shepard I've ever came across. :p

#43 Posted by RulerOfThisUniverse (6489 posts) - - Show Bio

The funniest claim I've ever heard is that "Batman can beat anyone with prep time" is the funniest claim someone's ever heard.

Online
#44 Posted by ThatGuyWithHeadPhones (14041 posts) - - Show Bio

''Luffy could solo the Naruto-Verse''

Ha

Shine on you crazy Diamond

ThatGuyWithHeadphones

#45 Edited by SuperDrummer (1167 posts) - - Show Bio

"I just spent my summer on a search and rescue mission in Iraq with the navy seals."
- four foot one twelve year old

#46 Edited by unBREAKable_Fs4 (2898 posts) - - Show Bio

"Superman is God's one and only son"

#47 Posted by Supersaiyan_Danger (778 posts) - - Show Bio
#48 Posted by consolemaster001 (6715 posts) - - Show Bio

@supersaiyan_danger: ummm what does this have to do anything ? I was merely correcting a historical error you made.

#49 Posted by Xwraith (24500 posts) - - Show Bio

"With 100 years of prep time, Batman could beat Galactus."

#50 Edited by JetiiMitra (9153 posts) - - Show Bio

Hulk's healing factor lets him beat TOAA