I have terrible anxiety when it comes to talking with girls. Does anyone else experience this?
Fear of Talking to Girls
I only have anxiety when it comes to talking with attractive/flirty people. My mind gets taken up by the fact that they are flirting with me, and next thing I know, I'm barely able to respond when they throw an unexpected line at me.
I'm good at playfully flirting back when I don't feel any attraction towards them. I'm working to reverse this situation.
You should be afraid, girls sense fear, like dogs and yellow lanterns, once they know you're afraid, they will attack and devour you.
Oh yeah, except the girl I really like. Is kinda my best friend...
Are we talking Friend-zone scenario here?
Last time I really talked to a girl, I got her to reach 3rd base with me. Yeah, talking to girls can be quite scary. Those who have things over you and see you as destructible are the most dangerous and frightening.
Lucky bastard, girls never wanna play baseball with me...
I have terrible anxiety when it comes to talking with girls. Does anyone else experience this?
Just remember if there's a girl you really like and you don't get the courage to talk to her, some other guy will. It's better to get rejected then live with regret.
@allstarsuperman: Sounds like a douche swagfag
eh until i break the ice, than its smooth sailings
Pretty much this
When the ice is broken I become hot s***...(that sounded better in my head)
*Sigh* Here's some advice from a pro. Enjoy:
Yeah sure i will get Wonder Woman and the queen of UK with this kind of shyt(Didnt saw the video)!
How old are you guys? Eh, I used to be like that way back in the day. I've been dating my soul mate since the 8th grade and now other girls are just next to nothing to me, so I can talk to them as easy as any guy. If I have any good advice it's this, stick to one you're close to work your way up to where you're almost dating and while popping the question's friggin hard it's all about working up the nerve from there. The first one's really the hardest and then you're like me (whether the first was a yes or no), now you know how to ask. And if you're not already close to one find a way to make a girl laugh that's always a good start. Play to your strengths, whether it's cheesiness, sarcasm, dirty jokes(trust me my girl's got a dirtier mind than most guys I know), or whatever in-between, it doesn't hurt to try. Remember that it's only ever a hit or miss girls and learn to get past the misses. Also, three-way conversations easy a lot of tension. That's all I got.
Sorry to hear about your and others anxiety. Hopefully with time that sense will dissipate. I no longer get anxious with people in general, but when I was younger I use to. I also know a few friends who have various anxieties. From what I know and believe, I would say to anyone experiencing anxiety about talking to others, to just talk to everyone else like you would talk to yourself. Presumably you aren't anxious when you are alone, but just think of yourself at your most relaxed and comfortable. Think about what you would say and do in those situations. Be that way with others.
The problem with that is that you may be concerned with how others view you or what you say, but really your priority is how you view yourself and value your own words and thoughts. Actually spend more time trying to impress yourself, you should treat yourself well. There is that cliche saying that you are going to have to spend more time with yourself than anyone else ever, you might as well try make yourself interesting to know. So once your at that stage and assuming you aren't so narcissistic that you actually still want to be in the company of others instead of admiring a mirror, it should be easier to not be anxious.
Anxiety is linked with fear and nerves and uncertainty and expectations as well. Lots of people fear being alone, or judged harshly by others especially the gender they are attracted to. That fear of being alone connects to the desire of reciprocity romantically and sexually but there is the fear of rejection as well, the worry of being judged and perceived as inadequate and that can do a number on a persons nerves. Thats some hard stuff to overcome, but I would say try your best to forget about it all. Being alone builds character, plus sometimes ones biology isn't it synch with ones mind and reason. Which is to say most people are kind of the same anyway and the only way you discover the important differences is to talk to someone for a while and at that stage things like gender are only relevant if you have certain expectations, but thats another story for another thread.
Probably lots of short cuts you could use to trick yourself too! Pretend you are the member of the group you have trouble talking to. Or pretend that group are robots or something uhm. 0_0
Self confidence my friend. Self confidence.
Check it. If you don't feel good about yourself, then...
F*ck it, I'm in the same position as you man.
I guess, getting out more helps. You become more comfortable around people. Then shit just flows! It takes two vodka shots for me to start flowing. But that's a cheap way to dealing with said "fear".
80 Percent superstition and 20 Percent guesswork. But seriously, all the cliched advice gets tossed around cause its true. Be confident in yourself yadda, yadda, yadda, don't worry girls don't want to kick you down at the first opportunity (most of them). Don't try to put up a false front. Also if you talk to someone who shares your interests you'll more likely feel more comfortable around them.
Pretty simple really.
Ahaha,
First romantic hug- Got a Boner.
First Kiss Boner- Got a Boner.
Swiping out- You get the gist.
So you didn't have it too bad ;)
@the_stegman said:
Last time I really talked to a girl, I got her to reach 3rd base with me. Yeah, talking to girls can be quite scary. Those who have things over you and see you as destructible are the most dangerous and frightening.
Lucky bastard, girls never wanna play baseball with me...
You play Yu-Gi-Oh though, I'm sure a girl will want to play with your deck one of these days.
*Goes to speak*
....
*Shakes head*
As for the OP, treat talking like a performance. When you talk to a girl, imagine that you're reciting lines from something. If you treat it as a practised process, it becomes easier, because then you're not screwing up, the character of you is.
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